Come Back To Me
by anais117
Summary: [Repost with Edits] Modern Day AU- How will Katniss cope after such a tragic accident? Disclaimer: I Do Not Own The Hunger Games
1. Prologue

**I took this story down a few months ago to do some editing and now I'll be reposting it. Thanks for sticking by me!**

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"Come on Katniss," Prim tells me as she barrels down the stairs. Dad is taking us to get ice cream and Mom is staying here because she is experiencing one of her bad headaches after work. I take a quick look at my hair and make sure my braid is straight before I follow Prim's lead and head down the stairs. I stop in the living room and walk over to the chair where Mom is sitting. She is drinking from a mug and is rubbing her temples.

"Hey sweetie," she says when she sees me coming over.

"Hey Mom. Are you sure you don't want to come with us to get ice cream? Dad said after he'd take me for a driving lesson." I just turned 16 last month and have been bugging my parents to take me out driving. Dad has taken me out a couple of times and today will the first with Prim in the car.

"I'm okay sweetie. Just bring me back some of my favorite." She smiles and pats my hand. I give her a quick hug and head out the door.

Dad is sitting in the car tapping on the steering wheel most likely listening to one of Prim's favorite songs and I see her singing loudly in the back seat. I open the door shaking my head and then take a seat.

"Ready Catnip?" His nickname for me since Prim was little. She couldn't quite say my name so she called me Catnip the first few years of her learning to talk.

"Yes, let's go." We drive along our usual path and get to the ice cream shop in 15 minutes. Prim quickly runs in the store leaving Dad and me behind. We go in and Prim is already hovering over the glass case that encloses the ice cream excitedly jumping from end to end to check out all the flavors.

"Oh Mom wants us to bring her favorite," I tell Dad as I walk over next to Prim.

Prim picks strawberry banana, I pick vanilla with chocolate sprinkles, Dad picks pralines n' cream, and finally we get pistachio for Mom. We pile back in the car and finish our cones before Dad drives us to cluster of blocks where I have been practicing my driving. I have been here with him at least five times so for once I feel comfortable about my driving.

"Okay Katniss, time to switch seats." Dad pulls over at the beginning of Sycamore Street; a one way street, where I will drive down five blocks, make a right turn and drive five more blocks and then another right with five blocks, and finally the last right and five more blocks. I will be driving in a huge square and this is a popular spot for first time drivers to learn. When I make my first and third right, those streets are two way so I'm essentially getting a dose of both types of streets. I will also do some parallel parking and k-turns. When I get in I buckle my seatbelt and go through the checklist of all the things I must check before I can start the car. I get through easily and proceed. I look in my mirror and see no oncoming cars so I pull out gently and straighten the car and proceed down the blocks.

My first go around the square is a success with me stopping perfectly at all stop signs and lights. Dad is beaming when I approach Sycamore Street once again to start the process all over again. I don't know if it was Dad telling me how proud he was of me at my progress or the fact that I thought I saw a squirrel that distracted me from the truck that wasn't supposed to be on this street. I wasn't going more than 30 miles per hour when it hit my Dad's side. I don't remember much after that.

When I woke up in the hospital Mom was leaning over me holding my hand. All I could see was bandages and casts on me and feel pain. I later found out the truck was going so fast it flipped us over and started a fire in the car. A passerby pulled me out before it was engulfed in flames and then Dad and Prim, but unfortunately they died on the way to the hospital. I had third degree burns on my right side from my head to my upper thigh, a compressed spinal cord, a broken arm and leg on my left side, nerve damage and some internal organ damage. My hair on my right side was now melted to my skin and my braid singed so they basically cut my hair off down to the skin to work on my burn. After a week of having lopsided hair a kind nurse cut it down to a pixie cut.

I stayed in the hospital for a month and finally was released home in a wheelchair to Mom. She was barely holding on herself; her headaches worsening and depression building. She began abusing her prescription pain killers for her headaches to cope. Luckily my best friend Johanna practically moved in and started taking care of both of us. I was in physical pain but it was nothing compared to the emotional pain I felt. I survived the car wreck that killed my dad and little sister. She was only 12 years old. I didn't get to go to their funeral since I was still hospitalized but Johanna and my other good friend Gale went and brought back the cards that my classmates and family gave me for both the funeral and for me to get well.

Gale wasn't the best with seeing me in a wheelchair or needing help with my daily activities; but I never held it against him. Johanna was just better as it. My burns were still sensitive and I needed dressing changes as well as assistance with the limited physical therapy to help with the nerve damage. When my casts are ready to come off I will also need physical therapy to get those limbs back in shape. They expect I will fully recover from the temporary paralysis but I will always have pain from the permanent nerve damage as well as my skin will never look the same after the burns heal. The internal damage thankfully is on the mend. If I wasn't already depressed about the fact that I blame myself for Dad and Prim's death, I could definitely see myself going over the edge being a 16 year old who has been melted on her right side and crushed on her left.

I cry myself to sleep many a night and Mom doesn't even come to see what's wrong with me. She was catatonic for the first month I was home and then somehow she snapped out of it when my physical therapist started making home visits. Gale came after school most days to talk to me and hang out and Johanna came in the early evening after her shift at the local fast food chain to help me bathe and then tuck me in. At first she slept in Prim's room but eventually when I kept waking from nightmares or needed help with the bathroom in the middle of the night, she moved into my room. She tried sleeping on a blow up air mattress but it was just too uncomfortable. My mother finally switched rooms with us so in the master bedroom we could fit both my bed and a twin size one for her. The bathroom is much closer and my mother used some of the life insurance money from my father's death to redo the bathroom so the tub is a walk in one and has a build in bench for me to sit on to shower.

The first time I asked Johanna to help me bathe she was a bit squeamish; not because of seeing her best friend naked but her fear of water. When she was little she fell in her family's pool in the backyard. Johanna was three years old and just beginning to learn how to swim. Her parent's found her only minutes later and after a stay in the hospital she was released with no permanent physical damage.

She managed to develop a phobia of water though that she stills deal with today. Johanna takes the quickest showers I've ever seen and will not take baths. Since my bath tub is pretty big, if she's having a hard day the reflection of the water will freak her out and she has had to leave the bathroom and come back when I was done. I only take baths now if I'm in serious pain and need the hot water to sooth me.

Most times I will just sit and use the shower head to clean myself. I still need her to take me out of the tub and put me back in my wheelchair though. I'm thankful to her for spending so much of her time helping me and she's told me besides Gale I'm her true friend and she knows I'd help her like this if she needed it. Her family life isn't the best; her parents are divorced and her step-father is a piece of work, so she doesn't mind living with us.

Every night I go to bed wishing I'd wake up from this nightmare but the reflection of the sun off of the cool metal of my wheelchair always gets me in the morning. I know as long as I see that blinding sun, I'll never see my Dad or Prim again.


	2. Chapter 1

Johanna is lying next to me face shoved into the pillow and her hair draping around her neck snoring quietly. It's growing back in after she stopped cutting it to match mine. My hair is finally growing back somewhat after the accident and I can put it in a French braid that barely touches the nape of my neck. I still have to cut the left side to keep it even, though. It seems she didn't leave my bed last night after my horrific nightmare last night. My birthday is coming up and of course all I can think about is my dad and sister.

I'm adamant in that I won't celebrate this year just like all the holidays in between since they've been gone. Johanna thinks I should and so does my therapist; something about gaining closure and forgiving myself. Fuck that. Not today. Today I'll continue hating myself and most people in this world. I only care about Johanna and Gale. My mom hates me and is out the house with my physical therapist and her boyfriend as soon as he finishes my sessions.

I cry every night and I have nightmares several times a night. It's so bad that I'm on my 5th different antidepressant. Nothing is working. I'm only happy hanging out with Johanna and Gale and on the days I can use a cane instead of a walker or worst my wheelchair. That doesn't happen too often and when it does I stay home anyway.

"Wake up," I nudge and she grunts and turns her head. There's only two weeks left of school and then summer break. Johanna will be working the entire summer and since Gale is graduating he'll be taking two classes in the summer to get a start on his degree. He wants to apply to the police academy after he earns his Associate's Degree in two years. My therapist signed me up for a summer intensive to help me to continue to heal. It is 8 weeks of a program that includes physical therapy, swimming, art and music and starts the week after school is over taking up the whole months of June and July. I used to love music and sang often but after the accident I haven't done anything remotely close to singing unless you count my blood curdling screams in the middle of the night.

"I'm up, I'm up," Johanna yells as I continue to poke at her. The truth is this morning I'm feeling achy and stiff and I forgot to leave my cane near the bed and I need her to get it for me. I hate that she does so much but she'd never let me feel bad in this situation. She always tries to smile while helping me and always jokes

I'll be her living breathing reference when she applies for the nursing assistant program at our high school for next year. Johanna did the paperwork and is now waiting on the interview. She would attend the program our senior year and after she completes that and lands a job, she'll use the money to help pay for nursing school. We're both going to be seniors next year, but she's thinking more of life after high school. I honestly have no idea what I'll be doing. Maybe I'll move into whatever nursing home Johanna works in so she can continue taking care of me.

Johanna finally sits up in bed and rubs her eyes. She's wearing a yellow tank and pajama bottoms with yellow ducks. I opt for a white t-shirt and shorts. One of my many medications gives me night sweats.

"How are you feeling today?" Something she's asks me every day and at first I wouldn't tell her the whole truth. I'd say I was fine so not to burden her but after many arguments I gave in.

"Achy, stiff and my cane is across the room." My cheeks warm as she gives me an exasperated look but it quickly dissipates and is replaced with a smirk.

"I think I might ask Gale to build you a can holder next to your bed and keep two there just in case you feel better at night then you do in the morning." Honestly most nights I feel like shit but I must have been so tired I just dragged myself to bed and abandoned the cane near the pile of clothes I had on last night.

"Sorry Jo," I tell her as she approaches me sitting on the edge of the bed. She runs a hand through my hair and loosens my messy braid.

"Come on you need a shower." Johanna walks by my left side to support me since it's my weaker side. When we get into the bathroom she helps me sit on the toilet and leaves until I'm done. I undress while I'm still sitting and she helps me up and into the tub so I can sit on the bench. She makes sure all my toiletries are nearby and then she retreats to get ready in the other bathroom in the hall. The hot water helps soothe my aching body and usually after a thorough shower I can get myself out without much help but the rails in the tub. Johanna insists on helping me though fearing I might slip.

She walks me back to my room where I sit on the edge of my bed smoothing some medicated lotion for my healed burns. The skin is still very sensitive to the sun so if I don't apply this lotion I'll be paying for it later. I use a regular moisturizer for my untouched skin.

My underclothes are in a small drawer near my bed so I don't have to move much to get them. I make a sound as I bend and I feel my back is still sore.

"Having trouble bending?" She asks.

"Yes," I reply. "Looks like you'll have to help me shave my legs and possibly my bikini zone." I start to laugh and she throws a pillow at me. "Ouch," I say as it hits me but it doesn't hurt. All my pillows are extremely soft so it felt like a cloud hit me. She won't have to help me shave though since I've opted to use a cream hair remover. My nerve damage gives me spasms at times and I've cut myself while shaving so that was the only option unless I wanted to go all natural.

"Gale is coming in a half hour to pick us up so I've taken the liberty to pick out your clothes." Johanna pulls a hanger from the closet with a white shirt and blue jeans.

"Do you need a sweater just in case?" She asks always worrying about my sensitive skin.

"Sure."

After I'm dressed I stretch before getting off the bed. The shower helped my muscles and I almost can walk without the cane but I'd never leave it home. My pace is not bad and by the time Johanna has gathered our bags and lunches at the door, I'm meeting her there. Gale arrives right on time and Johanna spots me as I walk to the car. She helps me settle into the back seat and goes back into the house for our bags. I look at Gale and greet him with a smile.

"Good morning Catnip." He's pretty much the only person alive who can still call me that since he encouraged Prim to call me that when she was small. Gale's parents were best friends with mine so he's known me since I was in my mom's belly. There's a picture of him kissing me while I was still inside and my mom laughing as she pats his head with one hand and the other side of her belly with the other. We feel like siblings at times, but unfortunately his parents grew apart from my mom after the accident and how she started treating me. I miss them and try to visit as much as possible.

"Morning Gale." I try to smile but sometimes hearing my nickname tears me up.

"I'm sorry," he says picking up on my expression.

"It's okay. It is my nickname after all," I try to smile and he just pats my knee from the front seat. Johanna arrives a few minutes later with our bags.

"Morning," she says to Gale punching him in the arm playfully. They should really go out. I've known Johanna since she moved in down the block in 6th grade. After she punched this boy named Marvel Thompson for making fun of me, we've been best friends. Gale likes tough girls like her and its almost shocking he's never asked her out. I think sometimes they feel bad that it's hard for me to date, so if they do they won't bring it around me.

I guess I think about guys but most of my classmates are dicks and don't understand my disability. I need someone patient and caring but most guys want to make out and have sex. I think I have too much pain for that. I take a pain pill, a nerve pill, one for depression, and one for inflammation. Sometimes I take another for some side effects. This doesn't include the supplements for my bones, skin, and hair. I gulp them all at different times of the day and once a group of popular girls laughed and called me a spaz and pill popper. I don't talk to many people at school because of this. Johanna only has lunch with me and Gale nothing. I hate feeling lonely but it is surprising how many of my "friends" fell to the wayside when I returned to school in a wheelchair.

Gale drives off from my house and we arrive at school in less than 15 minutes. Johanna helps me out and into the building where she takes me to my locker. Gale bids us goodbye with a kiss on each of our cheeks and then heads toward his homeroom. Since I've been back to school they've given me extra time to get to my classes and an aide to copy any notes I miss while getting there. It's worked out so far and luckily most of my classes are close together so I'm no more than a few minutes late each time.

"I'll see you at lunch," Johanna tells me and heads toward her homeroom which is across the school. I push my lunch bag further into my locker and fish out the 5 subject notebook I take to each class. There is a copy of the textbook for each of my classes in the classroom so I won't have to carry them around and I have extra copies at home.

"Good morning Ms. Everdeen," my homeroom teacher Ms. Trinkett says to me. "How are you today?" She's always so happy in the morning and it's nearly unbearable but she's nice enough.

"I'm okay, thanks for asking." I made it a point to always be pleasant to my teachers because of the support they've all given me. Some of my classmates would try to ignore them to act cool but they've been nicer to me than my own peers and I really appreciate that, especially after the accident. Coincidently a lot of the teachers here know my parents because they all went to school together. Panem is a small town that most people don't move away from either because they won't or because they can't.

Ms. Trinkett takes attendance and then lets me leave early to head for my second class, which is an art class. I'm not very good but it's the only class I can turn my brain off and just have fun. There aren't many days where I can just do that without thinking of the constant pain I'm in or my dead family members that I probably killed. There goes my depression again. I make it to the classroom just in time for the bell to ring to let the others out of their homerooms. I walk in and smell the familiar smell of drying paint. There's easels spread around the classroom in a circle and I hobble toward mine and take a seat.

The school replaced my stool with one that has a comfy cushion to support my back pain and help with the nerve pain I feel in my legs when I sit too long. Every class has one so once again I don't have to lug something else along with me. I stare at the painting that I've been working on the last few weeks for our final project. It's oil based and it is a representation of a day I had with my family. We went upstate to a farm house my grandparents owned and there was a beautiful meadow full of dandelions and short green grass. I trace my fingers over the bumps of my meadow and I almost can smell the grass again from that day. I look at my painted sky and it's blue with white wisps of clouds.

I remember Prim being disappointed there weren't any puffy clouds for her to discern into different animals. The red barn that still stood there I'm working on as well as the main house we stayed in that had so many rooms. I remember being so happy that day and loved seeing my parents so wrapped into one another. I decide I'll paint butterflies floating in the meadow to represent us.

"That's really impressive," I hear from a voice behind me. I turn around as fast as I can swivel because I don't like my work to be commented on even if it's a nice complement.

"Thank you?" I say in a question and the man behind me laughs. He's tall and broad with blonde curly hair. He has piercing blue eyes that I've only ever seen on little babies and freckles just on his nose. He's sporting a few days stubble and has on a blue shirt rolled up to the elbows that complement his eyes, and brown khakis hanging over his loafers. I'm thinking he could be a substitute but he looks so young.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm Peeta Mellark," he says extending his hand. I shake it cautiously and he laughs again. "I'm actually looking for you," he says looking onto a sheet I hadn't noticed in his hand. "You're Katniss Everdeen right?"

"Um, yes. Did the school assign me a new aide or something?"

"No, no. I'm one of the instructors for the summer intensive your therapist signed you up for. I came to personally meet the students that have already been signed up and invite them to a mixer we're having next week to introduce themselves and have a little fun."

"Oh okay." I continue to stare at him and he blushes just a little. "I'm sorry," I shake my head. "It's just you look so young."

"Yes, I'm 21 and am finishing my senior year of college this year. I'm hoping to gain a position here next year teaching art so in the meantime I've been volunteering to teach any other available classes. Luckily this year the local Y is having a summer intensive that now includes art and music." Just as he finishes speaking a group of popular girls come in and he smiles and waves at them. They giggle to one another and take their seats across from me.

"Well it was nice meeting you Katniss. Here's a flyer with the info for the mixer and I hope to see you there." I watch him walk out the classroom and into the hallway. I guess that he will make for an interesting 8 weeks.


	3. Chapter 2

"Do you know a Peeta Mellark?" I ask Gale as he drives Johanna to work and me to my house after school. It's Friday and Johanna will be working late and then right after heading to her cousin's house for the weekend. My mother agreed to take care of me tonight while she's gone and Gale will stay with me this weekend. Tonight he's going to an early graduation party to start the season of upcoming parties.

"You mean the youngest bakery boy?"

"I guess," I say not realizing that he may be related to the famous Mellark Bakery in the center of town.

"Yeah I know of him. He was a senior when I was a freshman. Him and his brothers held the school wrestling records. Delly Cartwright's little brother Adam managed to break Peeta's though this past season. Why do you ask?"

"He came into my art class today. He's teaching the art portion of the summer intensive I'll be attending in a few weeks and he invited me to a mixer for the students that will be involved."

"Oh really? I didn't know he was into art like that. Sounds cool though. Do you want me to come with you or did you want to go alone?"

"I think it's only for the students but I wouldn't mind a ride."

"Sure anything Katniss."

Gale drops Johanna off at the drugstore she works at and heads over to my house. When we arrive I hear my mother clanging around getting ready for something.

"Hello Mrs. Everdeen," Gale greets her as he steadies my bags on his shoulders. I steady my weight on my cane and wave casually at my mother.

"Oh hello Gale. Hello Katniss. I was just getting ready for tonight."

"Umm, tonight?" I ask trying not to look over at Gale. I hope she didn't forget she said she'd stay with me.

"Don't worry Katniss I'll be home before you go to bed. You'll be able to manage a few hours alone right?" I try not to show my embarrassment over being so dependent on others but I'm upset how my Mom doesn't realize by now that I always need someone in the house with me. I could have painful muscle spasms at any time or feel weakness that could make me collapse if I'm up walking or prevent me from getting up at all. It's unpredictable.

"I guess so." My mother waves me off and heads into her bedroom. Gale doesn't speak but gently assists me into my room. I'm starting to feel stiff again and am due for my anti-inflammatory medication.

"Katniss if you want I can stay with you. It's not a big deal."

"No Gale. You've been wanting to go to this party since forever. Go ahead and have a good time with your friends and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" He asks looking at me concerned.

"I'm okay Gale really. If anything I'll just text you." Gale gives me a small smile and then kisses me on the forehead.

"I'll see you later Katniss. Just be careful okay." Before he leaves the room he makes sure to place my cane near the bed as well as leave a bottle of water to take my medication with.

I lie back on my bed thinking about my two best friends and what they'll be up to tonight. Gale will probably be doing keg stands while Johanna will try her best not to curse out inconsiderate customers. Those two are a pair and I don't know what I'd do without them.

After a while of having nice thoughts of my friends I fall asleep and find myself in a dream. I'm not quite sure where I am at first but when I feel a tight belt across my chest I know I'm in a car. I look to my right and I see my dad smiling at me and encouraging me to drive down the street. I look in my rearview and see Prim smiling in the back directly behind my dad. Her blonde braids rest on the shoulders of her blue jean dress. She's smiling at me; her mouth full of pink braces. I hear her chanting 'Catnip, Catnip' as I inch along down the street. I can't help but turn my head to look at my two missing family members.

Even though I see them in my dreams almost daily, it feels new whenever they appear. Suddenly I remember what happens next in both my usual dreams and in real life and I stop the car. I try to scream to them to get out of the car because they're about to be killed by a truck but they can't hear me. All I see is them both start to laugh as my face feels hotter and hotter from my attempt to yell. Soon they both ignite in flames and I hear their screams and their accusations of me being a careless driver and killing them.

I feel so hot and that's all I can think about as I look down and watch my skin melt off my bones. I wake up screaming and sweating. I place my hand to my head and besides my drenched hair, I'm burning up. I try to swing my legs off the side of the bed but I feel a rush of pain as I try to sit up. I forgot to take my medication before I dozed off.

"Mom!" I call. She must still be here. I've only been asleep for no more than an hour. I continue calling her name until my throat is nearly sore and that's when I hear shuffling of feet.

"What is it Katniss?" She says bursting open the door.

"Help me," I choke out.

"What is it?" She has a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I'm hot," I mouth barely audible. She comes over and places her hand over my head.

"You're barely warm. Here have some water." My mother shoves the water bottle towards me not making eye contact.

"My meds," I tell her and she looks at me and asks where they are. I point to the side table and she comes around quickly and fumbles through it. She pulls out several bottles but they're all empty.

"Katniss I really don't have time for this. Haymitch is coming in less than 15 minutes. All of these bottles are empty. Where are your medications?" I try to think but I'm so confused from the pain and my fever. I don't even notice my mother go into the bathroom and come back out with a bottle of Tylenol.

"Here, take two of these and it'll break the fever and help with some of the pain. When you feel well enough you can find your medications. I'm sorry but I have to get going." After she hands me the pills she walks out of my room and slams the door. I flinch at the sound of the door and start crying. I feel so alone and I think I have to use the bathroom. I throw down the Tylenol and lean over to look in my drawer and I see a white pharmacy bag.

My mother didn't look as well as she could have because she would have seen the gigantic pharmacy logo. I grab it and dump it on my bed and to my dismay all the bottles have child lock caps on them. How many times do I have to tell those people in the pharmacy that in an emergency I can't undo those child lock caps? The pain is so blinding at times that I can't concentrate to guide my fingers to grip it properly. I start to cry all over again and find the Tylenol and pop them in my mouth with a swig of warm water.

I barely can wait 15 minutes before my bladder is begging me to empty it. I decide I'll have to just crawl to the bathroom and hopefully the cold air in there will help bring down my fever. I slide off the bed and onto the floor. I don't trust myself with a cane especially since I'm a little dizzy from the fever and pain. I crawl slowly on all fours until I reach the threshold of the bathroom.

A few inches more and I'm cradling the toilet gently pulling myself up onto it. Johanna would go ballistic if she saw me like this, but I don't really have a choice. I don't want to pee on myself because then I might get a rash from lying in it. I managed to lie my head against the wall as I shimmy my pants and panties down to use the bathroom. After I'm done I slowly lower myself on to the carpet and try to gather myself. The Tylenol is doing nothing for my pain and the fever isn't budging much either. Luckily I left my phone in my jeans pocket so I fish it out and text Gale.

_Please come over tonight after you're done. My mom just left me for Haymitch and I'm not feeling well._

I don't want him to know I'm lying on the bathroom floor because that'll freak him out and plus I plan to get back to my bed before he's here. My movements are slow and each attempt becomes harder as I try to turn my body around on the floor. I feel like a turtle on its shell. I'm spinning; well my head is and I don't know where the door is. 'Oh no' I think as everything becomes more blurry and darker and darker. I'm not falling asleep; I'm blacking out.

"Katniss! Katniss!" I hear a muffled voice coming towards me. I can barely say a word into this carpet that's bunched up near my face.

"There you are." I hear a voice and I look up and I see a blurry Gale. "What are you doing? Oh my God Katniss are you okay?" Gale scoops me up carefully not squeezing too hard but hard enough to grip me so I don't slip out of his arms. He brings me over to the bed where he smooths my hair over my face. I can smell the alcohol seeping from his pores. He must have been at some party.

"I'm sorry I just got your text and I begged Thresh to drop me off first. He was the designated driver tonight." Gale continues smoothing my hair and notices how clammy I feel.

"Did you take your medication Katniss?" I shake my head and he leans over to where my bottles are on the bed.

"Which one?"

"Pain," I muster out and he fishes out some immediate release morphine to help me get relief. I hadn't noticed the tears steadily leaking down the sides of my eyes. Gale wipes them away and takes away the water bottle and arranges my pill bottles next to my bed after he's given me my dose.

"Oh Katniss, I shouldn't have left you," Gale says looking at me with wide eyes. I forgot how affectionate he gets when he's drunk. He won't try anything stupid but he'll touch my face more than usual. Without warning Gale leans down and kisses my forehead, nose, and then my cheek. He's whispering some reassuring words and then he kisses me in the same pattern again.

"Gale," I croak out. "How drunk are you?"

"Not so much," he says with a crooked smile. I start to feel the medication kicking in and I smile at the feeling of relief.

"I think you're drunk enough to think I won't mind your lips all over my face." I start to laugh not at him but at the increasing giddy feeling morphine gives me. I really hate it but in extreme cases like these if I don't take them I'll be in pain much longer waiting for the other drugs to kick in. I manage to sit myself up and grab the pill bottles and take my other medications that I missed from earlier. I slide back down and pat the side of the bed next to me for Gale to join me.

"Hold me?" I request and he obliges arranging himself in the usual formation. Gale doesn't actually hold me because sometimes it hurts to be held so I just basically lay across his chest and he smooths my hair with his opposite hand not under me.

"Do you feel better?" Gale whispers as he tries to settle in.

"Yes, thank you." We're quiet for a while and I listen for his breath to even out signaling that he's asleep. I close my eyes now and just listen to his heartbeat. I run my hand over his chest still feeling the effects of the morphine and for a second Gale feels so familiar; like someone else. Just for tonight I'll pretend Gale's chest is my dad's. Not unlike the times Prim and I would sit on each of his knees on the couch as he told us stories. We'd fall asleep that way; our heads on his chest and our hands enclosed around the others. I reach for Gale's hand that has now fallen away from my hair and I touch the soft outer side of it and pretend it's Prim's hand. I know he's not them but for now so I can sleep in my sanity, he'll have to do.


	4. Chapter 3

"Were you crying last night?" Gale asks me as he strokes my hair.

"Yea the pain was bad and I took my pills late," I reply.

"I remember vaguely waking up in the middle of the night and hearing you crying. You were murmuring about your dad and Prim and kept running your hand across my chest. Are you alright?"

My face warms with embarrassment knowing that I've been caught using him to fantasize about my family.

"I'm fine."

"You're not," he shakes his head. "Look at me." Gale lifts my head up to face him. "You know you can talk to me about anything right? You're my best friend and I don't want you bottling up your emotions."

I keep looking at him and I begin to choke as tears well up in the corner of my eyes.

"Tell me," he pleads.

"I miss them," I whisper through tears.

"I miss them too." And he leans down to kiss my forehead. He gently pulls me closer to him and I arrange myself on his chest and I sob quietly as his hands find my hair again.

Some time later I'm awoken by knocking on my door.

"Katniss are you okay?" My mom is just now checking on me and it's nearly 10am the next morning after she ran out for a date. Gale sits up and then helps me. He skips into the bathroom and I tell my mom to come in.

"You look better," she tells me.

"I'm not." My mother looks around my room and sees Gale's boots on the floor next to my bed.

"He's here?" She's asks raising an eyebrow.

"He's in the bathroom."

"Katniss I trust you but I don't want a man in your bed."

"Mom you know it's not like that. You know Gale; we're just friends."

"Well I don't want you getting into something you can't handle. You can barely take care of yourself." I feel my face burn and my anger rise.

"Mom!" I yell. "We're not doing anything! And why do you even care? You're too busy with my physical therapist doing God knows what."

"That's definitely none of your business Katniss," she argues.

"Of course not because you don't want to think about how not even a year later after Dad died you're already fucking another guy. Do you even miss Dad?" Her face drops and she rushes over and slaps me across the face before I can even get out of the way. I draw my hand up to my stinging cheek.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that!" She points her finger at me. "If it weren't for you they'd still be here but no you kept pestering him to teach you how to drive and now because of your fuck up I lost my husband and precious daughter. All I have is you now and some days the burden isn't worth it." At this point I burst into tears and she flies out of the room. Gale is by my side soon after coming out the bathroom and finding me crying. He holds me close to him and the usual ache in my body returns.

"I'm starting not to like your mom," Gale tells me when he brings in my lunch later on. I look at him expressionless as he sets the plate on my night table.

"Did you take your meds already?"

I nod and then pick up a half of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich lying on the plate.

"She hates me," I say flatly.

"No she doesn't, but she should probably go back to the therapy that was recommended by the grief counselor instead of taking it out on you." I stare blankly at him and he cups my cheek.

"It'll be okay. Don't worry."

After we finish lunch Gale takes me outside and we sit on the porch swing. We are content to sit in one another's silence and then my phone buzzes.

_How are you? I miss you guys!_

I read the message from Johanna and show it to Gale and he tells me to wait until she comes home to tell her about my mom. If I tell her now she'll try to come home and I don't want to ruin her weekend.

_We're good. Sitting on the porch swing talking. _

_Okay sounds fun. Punch Gale in the arm for me :P. I'll see you tomorrow evening. Love you guys._

I show Gale and he laughs and then I shut it off and put it in my pocket.

Gale brings me back inside and we settle on the couch to watch television and less than a half hour later, my mom comes into the house.

"Hello," she says weakly standing in the threshold to the living room. I don't turn my head and I can see Gale out the corner of my eye give her an expressionless nod.

"Gale, can I speak to Katniss alone please?"

Gale turns to me and asks without words if it's okay for him to go.

"It's fine," I tell him and he gets up and walks to the back of the house and into my bedroom.

"I want to apologize," my mother begins as she walks slowly over to me and takes a seat. I continue to stare blankly at the documentary Gale and I had been watching. "I'm not doing anything with Haymitch. We're just friends and he's been there for me during this hard time. I didn't have many people to lean on after the accident."

I'm livid at her words and whip my head towards her.

"And who am I? Chop liver? Not only did you have me but you have the Hawthorne's."

"I couldn't talk to you Katniss. You're still healing and the Hawthorne's; our relationship has been on the decline for years."

"Did you ever think that _I_ might need to talk to you?"

"You have Johanna and Gale taking care of you."

"Yes they are but only you know the extinct of the pain I'm in. Don't you know that?"

My mother looks down at her folded hands and then at me.

"I know but part of me still blames you. I'm really sorry but it's the truth."

Now I'm fuming.

"How could you blame me? It was an accident! Do you know what it does to me to hear you say that?"

"I'm sorry but I'm not going to lie about my feelings. You're a big girl now so I don't need to sugarcoat my words."

"Don't patronize me mother. If you'd go to therapy you would know that pointing fingers solves nothing."

"All they want to do is put me on pills and I don't want that. Besides I've forgiven you so..."

"Are you serious?" I yell interrupting her. "I give up," and I push myself up off the couch and I walk slowly to my room trying to hold my tears back.

Gale is right there when I push my door open and he helps me over to my bed to sit.

"Wow," he says and we don't speak anymore after that.

For the rest of the night I stay in my bed and Gale paces the length of my room thinking about something. He's also furiously texting to someone who seems to respond to him just as fast as he sends the message. My eyes are closed when I hear my room door open.

"Katniss are you alright?" Johanna asks as I hear her approach my bed.

"What are you doing here? You're back early," I say as I sit up rubbing my eyes.

"Don't be mad but Gale told me what happened and it was pretty much dead over there anyway so I left a day early."

"I'm sorry Jo, I hope I didn't ruin your time with your family."

"It's fine really. My stepfather showed up so I needed a reason to leave early anyhow." Johanna kicks off her shoes and crawls into bed with me and I turn over to face her.

"How is your pain level? Gale told me about Friday night."

"I'm alright, really." She nods and runs a hand through my hair.

We lie there on the bed catching up the last day I haven't seen her and I glance at the clock and see that it's nearly ten at night. I've been lying in bed all day it seems. Sometimes when I'm getting over a painful episode I'm exhausted the next day. My confrontation with my mother didn't help either so I'm pretty much wiped out.

"Do you want me to go home since Johanna is here?" Gale asks me as he runs his hand through his hair still pacing my room.

"No stay," I say quietly.

"Come lie down," Johanna tells him patting a space behind her. We've never all been in my bed at the same time but it's big enough for all of us. Gale seems to blush but Johanna sits up and crawls over to him standing at the end of the bed and yanks him in. I changed my clothes earlier after my conversation with my mother and Gale has been sporting sweatpants all day. Johanna quickly changes in the corner into some lounge pants and a tank top and then flops back in between us.

I lie awake for a while as I watch Johanna and Gale breath evenly as they sleep. I look down and notice Gale has draped his arm around her waist and his hand is under the hem of her tank top. I wonder if they _are_ dating.

The three of us manage to get out of the house early in the morning and Gale takes us to a meadow we used to hang out in when we were younger. It looks similar to the one on my grandparent's farm except this one is full of other families having picnics. Johanna packs us lunch and a blanket so after they help me out of the car we all sit on the blanket.

"So I have my interview for the Nursing Assistant Program tomorrow. Katniss I need you to be in the guidance office during your lunch. Is that still okay with you being my reference?" Johanna asks me over her sandwich.

"Of course Jo. You've been a great caretaker and I intend on giving you the best reference possible."

"Thanks I really appreciate that. If all goes well I'll complete the course and graduate the same time we finish high school next year."

"That'll be great Johanna. I'm proud of you," Gale replies looking at her with a smile. She looks away almost blushing and now I know something is definitely going on between them.

Johanna and I fall back into our usual routine after Gale drops us off later that afternoon. Johanna uses the excuse of leaving something in his car to quickly go back outside before she's back and helping me get ready for school in the morning. I want to ask her about Gale but I decide now is just not the time. When they are ready they'll share it with me; that is if there is anything to share in the first place.

The next morning after Gale bids us goodbye with a kiss on my cheek and a little longer one on Johanna's I turn away hoping she doesn't see my blush.

"Alright Katniss I'll see you at noon." Johanna touches my arm and then waves as she walks away. I turn to my locker and shove my lunch bag in and grab my usual notebook. Technically it's two weeks of school left but next week it's all testing and then graduation that Friday. This Friday I have the mixer at the Y and hope the students there are nice enough to have to deal with for the summer.

is pleasant to me this morning sporting her usual big curly hair; almost like an afro, with different colored and textured hair clips in it. I think I see a few feathers that match her one piece outfit and bright makeup. It's almost as if she's stuck in the same wardrobe she wore back when she attended high school here.

I leave early as usual and find myself in my art class again. This is our last week before we hand in our final project and then next week we can do makeup work if we need to. I sit down gingerly and look at my painting I managed to add the red barn to on Friday. I really am proud of my progress in this class because it was so hard to be expressive after the accident. When I came back to school in the fall I was still so depressed. I had music last semester and this semester I have this art class. I used to be very active in music and loved to sing; I got that from my dad. After he and Prim died and I had to return to school, I literally lost my voice. Somehow I was able to write papers my whole music class but I think that teacher and many others just gave me pity passes. This semester when I started school however, I felt a little better; the antidepressants they started me on gave me some relief so I was able to just dive into this class. I'm not the best artist but I carefully studied the different techniques we learned and I just sat back and watched myself fall into this world of art.

I continue to admire the contours of the red barn when I think back to Friday when that instructor Peeta commented on my work. He said it was interesting but I wonder how qualified is he to make a judgment on my work. I had never even heard of him outside of the bakery and I didn't put that together with his name until Gale pointed that out. I used to go there with Dad and Prim because Prim loved their cupcakes. I remember being fond of their cheese buns but I couldn't step back in there now; it reminds me too much of them.

I find myself wondering what his artwork looks like and I make a mental note to look it up in the archives during my study hall in the library today. My mind is so wrapped up in my painting and thinking about Peeta and my family that I don't realize the class is full and Mr. Cinna, my teacher is telling us to continue to work on our paintings.

It was an easy choice for me to choose to do an oil painting for my final project. I like the thick colors and how they translated on the canvas. I didn't care if I got messy; for that small moment it was just me and my artwork. Today I'll put in the big house in the background making sure to include all the windows and even fill in the primrose bushes that are alongside the house. Dad said when Mom was pregnant with Prim she loved those bushes and often spent time walking alongside them and thus that is how she got her name. They chose my name after spending a day at the nearby lake up there and discovering a bed of katniss roots while wading in the water hand and hand. Something in that moment clicked for them and they chose that name for me.

As much I enjoy thinking about my family and how they use to be, it almost always tears me up so right now in the middle of class I'm wiping my eyes and praying my teacher doesn't see me. What does surprise me is that someone else is watching me and I hadn't even noticed.

"Hey Katniss," I turn around and it's him.

"Peeta?" I ask looking at him and trying to nonchalantly wipe my eye while making it look like a tired gesture instead of a sad one. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, well Mr. Cinna wanted me to observe you guys this week. He was my teacher when I went here and when he found out I was trying to get a position here next year he wanted to help so here I am putting in some time with students."

"Oh," I say looking away. I really hope he didn't notice I was crying.

"This is really beautiful Katniss. So detailed the big house and are those Primrose bushes?" He asks pointing at the beginnings of a bush I'm painting in."

"Yes they are. How did you know?"

"My grandparents have a house upstate with some in the front yard. Something tells me this place you painted is up there as well?"

I nod, "It's my grandparent's house."

"It seems our grandparents know a good place to buy a house." Peeta gives me an easy smile and I can't help but try to reciprocate. He seems like such a happy person. The last time I was like that was probably the Saturday morning before I got into my accident. I only really smile now with Johanna and Gale and even then it's not often.

"Well good job Katniss. I look forward to your finished piece." I nod my head again and he walks over to the next student with his hands behind his back and starts a conversation with them. I really need to take a look at his work now.


	5. Chapter 4

Peeta stayed with my class until the Friday of the mixer which was also when I finished my painting. The red barn stood in the background with the main house that had primrose bushes on the side. I successfully added touches to the meadow and my family of butterflies even though I was tempted to leave out the one that would represent my mother. I just decided her butterfly would represent Johanna and Gale who are more of a parent/ caregiver to me than she is at this moment.

"Wow, this really came together nicely," Peeta comments when he makes it over to my station after talking to a popular girl named Glimmer. She giggled so loud when he talked about her painting I nearly puked. She was overly affectionate with him; touching his arm when it was extended to her work. Had she no shame flirting openly with a semi-teacher?

"Thank you," I reply.

"Do those butterflies represent anything?" He asks pointing to the cluster of blue winged butterflies that are hovering over the meadow. I turn away hoping he doesn't see my face. I'm not ready to discuss my family with him or anyone who's not close to me.

"They do but it's private," I say with my head down.

"Okay no problem. It's just how you placed them in the painting; it tells the viewer something."

I didn't think my artwork was that deep, but he's an artist after all; he sees these things. I finally found the archive of his artwork two days ago. They had pieces from him dating back to when he was in junior high school but nothing since he's been in college. It contained all sorts of things; landscapes, the bakery he grew up in, and even his family and friends. In one of the many art shows he was in he had a painting called three blonde boys which featured him and his two brothers. It was incredibly detailed highlighting each curly blonde strand and crisp blue eyes they all shared. I found myself getting lost in the blue orbs that belonged to the younger version of Peeta. It's amazing his are still as bright.

"Really?" I ask not wanting to show how shocked I really am that he's seen something in my painting.

"Yes really. You're a natural Katniss." I've never been complemented so much on my artwork. Mr. Cinna does tell me I'm improving my technique but he's never spoken like Peeta has. I guess it's because Peeta is young and his taste is different. Mr. Cinna is from New York so he's probably seen it all and is not impressed by small town talent; well at least not mine. He hasn't stopped gushing about Peeta since he's been here though.

"Oh by the way are you coming to the mixer tonight?" Peter interrupts my thoughts and I nod quickly. "Well I'll see you there then. I need to make my rounds," and he's gestures around the room. He flashes me that easy smile again and continues on to circle the room.

I ride home with Gale and Johanna quietly and listen to them chat. They're still acting as if nothing is going on with the both of them but I decide to leave it alone. I guess eventually they'd notice one another and then I start to dwell on the fact that I'm alone. Before the accident I dated a few boys and did nothing more than innocent kissing. Now I wonder if anyone would be interested in me. I'm living with a disability and what I deal with on a daily basis is a lot. I couldn't ask someone to make that commitment to take care of me like that. My own mother doesn't even want to. I'm just lucky I have Gale and Johanna for now.

After Johanna and I graduate though I'm not sure she can still do it. She'll be working full time and attending class. Gale will be doing the same starting this summer. I shouldn't be so pessimistic though because I'm still healing. The nerve damage and scars from my burns are permanent but the muscles spasms and other pain I get can be managed with proper medication as well as completing my physical therapy. It seems I may not be such a burden after all.

I walk into the house quietly looking out for my mother. This week has been hard dealing with her. We've been giving the other the silent treatment and it seems to bother me more than it does her. Before the accident my mother would sometimes get in bed with either Prim or I and cuddle. She would sing some sort of lullaby and smooth our hair. I miss those moments and really wish she'd do that now after my nightmares. Johanna is good at comforting me but I miss my mom.

"Are you excited for tonight?" Johanna asks me as she picks through my closet.

"Not really. I just hope the other kids there don't suck."

"Well if they do you can just ogle Peeta."

"What?" I respond taken aback. Why would she bring him up?

"I've seen him and he's hot. I also saw how you admired his artwork in the library the other day. It's okay to have some eye candy during the summer. Especially interesting eye candy." Johanna waggles her eyebrows and I try to suppress a laugh.

"I'm not going to look at him like that and besides he's like a teacher. Yuck."

"Yes a very young and hot teacher," Johanna smiles.

Johanna finds a simple blue dress and leggings for me to wear. She combs my hair out and re-braids my usual French braid.

"You look great!" She tells me and I for once agree with her. I look in the mirror at myself and I like what I see. I've had self-image issues adjusting to my healing skin and mainly wear long clothes that cover it. The burns on the right side of my face are light and I can usually apply makeup but those on my arms, chest, and thigh are thick and discolored. The skin is lighter than on my left side and appears stretched. I'm glad that I can control who sees those. If I'm not wearing a sweater I usually wear a long sleeve t-shirt. The blue dress I have on now has long sleeves so I don't have to wear anything else over it.

Gale arrives and takes me to the Y where the mixer is held and tells me to text him when I'm ready to come home. He drives off with Johanna who is smiling more widely that she usually does. I assume they are going on a date or something of that nature. I'm feeling surprisingly limber tonight so I'm able to walk alone into the building with just my cane. There's a front desk inside and when I mention my name and what I'm here for, they point me to a meeting room only a few feet from where I am standing.

I walk in and there are already a few students there as well as instructors. There's about a half dozen table cloth covered tables with the same amount of chairs around them. The decorations are simple; just a few streamers here and there. I spot Peeta right away and he's talking to a much older man who I recognize as my physical therapist Haymitch Abernathy. I haven't talked to him much; even when he's at my house during my sessions. I'm still mad at him for the relationship with my mother even if it's just a friendship. It's not really his fault as he is trying to be there for my mother. I just don't want my mom to replace my dad with another man.

"Hey sweetheart," Haymitch says after excusing himself from Peeta and walking over toward me. I really wished he wouldn't call me that or that he hadn't seen me but I guess it was inevitable. I take a seat at the closest table just as Haymitch arrives.

"Hello," I whisper. I don't notice that Peeta is right behind him and smiling as usual.

"Hey Katniss, you made it!" He seems a little too excited but I guess that's his normal. I smile at him and Haymitch starts to speak.

"Do you two know each other?" He asks not realizing Peeta followed him over here either.

"I met her when the Y sent me over to invite all the students from the high school who were signed up for the program. I also observed her art class this past week. How about you?"

"He's my physical therapist," I answer before Haymitch does.

"Really?" Haymitch nods. "He was mine too when I dislocated my knee back in high school. What a small world." I nod my head and Haymitch gives me a small smile.

We finish the conversation and they head back to where the other instructors are. More students walk in and a young girl walks over to my table as soon as she enters.

"May I sit here?" The little girl with big brown eyes and curly brown hair asks me.

"Sure." She seems nice enough. She takes a seat and then extends her hand.

"My name is Rue Stevens. What's yours?"

"Katniss Everdeen." I shake her hand and notice her face change slightly.

"Are you Primrose's sister?" I freeze at the name of my sister and try to relax myself.

"Yes."

"Oh. I knew her…before," Rue stammers. "In junior high school we had some classes." Rue tries to give me a small smile and I can't help but be reminded of Prim. She's just as small as she was except her hair and eye color are different and she's has beautiful brown skin.

"Oh, well I'm happy to meet you." I finally say after a few minutes of silence.

All the tables fill up quickly as more students file in and I assume everyone that was invited came. Once everyone is seated; including the instructors, Peeta goes up to a podium that is in the front of the room and begins to speak.

"Welcome everyone to the YMCA's annual mixer for their summer intensive. This is my first year here but from what I've heard from the other instructors so far, there are a lot of new faces."

Peeta goes on to introduce himself and then he talks about the summer intensive. The intensive consists of four areas; art, music, swimming, and physical therapy. This year both the art and music classes are new and the swimming and physical therapy classes/sessions have been offered for many years. Each student will take two classes/sessions; one that they were recommended for and one other that they choose. For example I would take the physical therapy sessions because Haymitch recommended me and then I can add one more.

Peeta goes on to state he's the instructor for the art classes and then he introduces the other instructors. Annie Odair steps up next; a woman that is around my build with long brown hair and green eyes and a dreamy appearance, and she begins to speak about the music class she'll be instructing. She is happy that the class is finally being offered and that she looks forward to working with the students she recommended as well as the others who will be taking her class.

Finnick Odair; who I assume is her husband, comes up next and tells us he's the instructor for the swimming classes and also the swim coach at the high school. He has bronze hair and green eyes like his wife and he's also very tanned. A few of the students yelp as he stands there and I figure they must be on the swim team. He starts off thanking the YMCA for another year as well as thanks them for allowing his wife to instruct a class because she's wanted to for a long time.

Lastly Haymitch steps up and tells us he's holding the physical therapy sessions and reminds those of us that were recommended by him that the sessions at the Y will substitute those usually held at his office. He also still wants us to do our exercises at home. He doesn't speak anymore after a brief nod to us and then he takes his seat.

I hadn't noticed before but there are two tables of food behind where the instructors are sitting and the other tables we're sitting at, are spread apart enough for us to walk around and talk to one another. I've never been to a mixer and I honestly don't think I'll get up from my seat except to get some food. After Peeta welcomes us again and invites us to come up and 'eat and mingle', some low music comes on overhead.

"I think I'll go get some food. Would you like to come with me Katniss?" Rue smiles at me as she stands up and I nod my head and I get up with her. She walks at my pace and engages me in more small talk. I find out that she was recommended by her music teacher, Annie, and that she's been singing since she was a baby. She wants to do the art class and I tell her I'm thinking of doing that one as well. I explain that I'm in physical therapy and Haymitch recommended for the intensive. I know she already knew that but she's polite and lets me speak.

The spread is mostly cold cuts and bread along with an assortment of salads. The second table holds desserts and fruits. I make myself a sandwich and pair it with some green salad. For dessert; so I don't have to get up again, I take a small plate of fruit chunks. Rue helps me with my plates and we head back to the table. Soda and other drinks are furnished on our tables along with cups so I don't have to worry about getting up several times for a drink.

We still carry on a light conversation where she talks about her three younger siblings and how she's nervous about high school. I find myself smiling when she describes them even though I feel a pain in my heart thinking about Prim. After we're both done she takes my plate and throws it out and then asks if I want to mingle with the other students. I decline and she smiles anyway and heads to a table where she sees some students from the junior high school.

"Is this seat taken?" A voice asks and I look up and it's Peeta.

"No you can sit. Rue just went to talk to some friends."

"You're all alone? Don't feel like mingling?" Peeta says letting out a small chuckle.

"Not really. I don't really talk to many people besides my best friends."

"That's too bad. Well why don't I keep you company?" I nervously pick at my plate of fruit and then give him a shy 'okay.' I don't know why I feel weird about him sitting next to me. He's been engaging me the entire week he's been in my art class but I guess outside of school I tend to be shy. I wasn't like this before the accident but I guess my self-image is down the drain along with my confidence.

"So I'm hoping you're second class is the art class." Peeta says as he sips on a cup of soda he's poured himself.

"It will be. I can't swim yet in my state. I'm only allowed some time in the Jacuzzi for my sore muscles. And I don't want to do the music class."

"Okay, well I'm glad I'll see you this summer in my class. I'm really impressed by your artwork by the way. Would you be interested in talking about it in one of my classes?" My face warms when he compliments my artwork again. I really didn't think it was good enough to show other people.

"Seriously? It's just a meadow; nothing spectacular."

"It is spectacular because it has meaning to it. You didn't just slap paint on a canvas idly trying to impress someone. Your painting represents a part of you. Like for instance what I paint is always something or someone that is important to me," Peeta shares gesturing as he speaks.

"Your artwork is much better. They'll probably want to see that instead I'm sure," I counter.

"Fortunately the class is about the students so they'll be interested in seeing one another's artwork. Your artwork is good Katniss. You just don't give yourself enough credit," he says. After a brief pause he begins, "Where did you see my artwork exactly?" Will I ever stop being embarrassed around him? First he compliments me and now I have to admit that I looked him up in the library; but I had a legitimate reason to do so. I wanted to make sure he wasn't just filling my head with gas about my artwork. I had to see how good he actually was.

"I saw it in the library. After Mr. Cinna kept gushing about you I went there to check it out."

"Really? Well I appreciate the interest but they don't have any of my current stuff. It's quite different than my style used to be. Maybe I can show you sometime?" He smiles at me and I can't help but return a small version of his.

"Okay, sounds good," I respond and Peeta nods approvingly.

"Well Katniss, I would really love to keep talking with you but unfortunately I _have _to go mingle with the other students. I look forward to working with you though." Peeta stands up and gives me another smile before disappearing in the sea of students. He's really into art and he believes in me. I'll admit to one thing Johanna is right about; he does prove to be interesting.


	6. Chapter 5

The mixer was over promptly at 10pm and I sent a text to Gale to come get me. He was at a nearby diner with Johanna having dinner so I didn't have to worry about standing outside too long. The night was warm and after saying goodbye to Rue and promising that we could sit next to one another in our art class, Peeta approaches me.

"Do you have someone coming to get you?" He asks with concern on his face.

"Yes a friend. He was just out having dinner with my other friend and he's on his way."

"Oh okay. I just wanted to make sure because I would have offered you a ride if anything." I give him a small smile and he returns it.

"You know Katniss, I didn't want to mention it before but I think I remember you and your family when you use to come to the bakery. I didn't know your name before but after seeing and talking to you a few times I remembered why you looked familiar." I try to listen to him talk but I can't help but think about him mentioning my dad and Prim. I thought about it before how I would have to prepare myself for running into people who knew them even a year after the accident. I just ran into Rue tonight.

"I'm very sorry by the way for your loss. I was out of state for my own summer art intensive when it happened and my dad mentioned it to me but I just now connected the dots." I nod my head and turn toward the front of the building looking for Gale's car.

"So I guess that's why you are in physical therapy?" I see that Peeta is trying to make conversation with me and I haven't said much so I push myself to respond to him so I don't sound rude.

"Yup, that's why I have this," I tell him lifting my cane. "I was pretty banged up but I'm doing better now; physically anyway."

"That's great, but if you need anything or anyone to talk to, I'm here," he says raising his eyebrows hopefully. I can't figure out why he would offer this to me but I guess that what teachers do. He's not the first one to offer so I guess he won't be the last.

"Thanks Peeta." Just then I hear a light honk and I turn and see it's Gale's car driving up.

"Well there's my ride." I point forward and begin to walk when I feel Peeta's hand on my lower back.

"Would you like me to walk you?" A warm sensation radiates from where his hand is and even though I want to tell him no, my joints are starting to bother me again. I haven't taken my night dose of my medications as of yet.

"Sure, thank you." I walk slowly with Peeta guiding me and I give him a nervous smile. Gale jumps out of the car and meets us halfway.

"Hey Katniss, I didn't know you needed help." He puts his arm out to help me but I shoo him away.

"It's okay Peeta offered." Peeta smiles and extends his hand to Gale.

"Peeta Mellark."

"Gale Hawthorne." The men shake hands and I see a weird expression on Gale's face as we continue to walk toward his car.

"I remember you from high school," Gale says. "You and your brothers were really good wrestlers. Too bad your record was broken this past year."

Peeta chuckles and responds, "Yeah well it's been a little while so I don't mind passing on the torch. I'm really into art now so no worries." Both Gale and Peeta laugh and then we reach the car. Gale opens it for me and Johanna gets out to make sure the guys are being gentle.

"All set?" She asks as I take my seat and fold my cane.

"Yes thank you," I say in all of their directions.

"No problem," Peeta says and then he turns to Johanna. "I'm Peeta Mellark by the way, her art instructor for the summer." Johanna gives him a wide grin before introducing herself and then sitting back in the car.

"Well, have a good night guys," Peeta says through my opened window. The three of us wave and Gale drives off leaving him on the sidewalk.

"He seems nice," Johanna says in a suggestive voice. I roll my eyes and lean back in my chair and try to hide the growing smile that's on my face.

I settle into my bed for the night having taken my medications and showered. Johanna is outside saying goodnight to Gale and I'm just laying here cuddled in a light blanket. I have a fan pointed toward my back instead of having the air conditioner on because the cold air wreaks havoc on my joints.

"Hey sleepyhead," Johanna says patting my leg as she climbs over me into the bed.

"I'm still awake." She lays sideways facing me and has a large grin on her face.

"So tell me about tonight…with him," Johanna asks lifting her eyebrows a few times.

"There was no with him, there was about 30 students there. I sat at my table, met a girl named Rue who knew Prim, and had a conversation with Peeta somewhere in between."

"Hmm, interesting. What did he talk about?"

"Art."

"That's it."

"Well my art. He said it was good."

"Oh really?" Johanna moves closer only inches from my face. "So how did it get to him walking you to the car?"

"He just happened to be out there and must have thought I was in pain because I was sitting all night."

"Were you?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Johanna! What are you getting at?" She starts to laugh and points at me.

"You should see your face. You're so red!" She continues laughing until I punch her in her arm.

"Stop it!" I tell her trying to suppress my own laugh.

"Okay, okay." Johanna says with her hands up in surrender. "I'll leave you alone."

"Tell me about your night," I ask after our laughter has died down.

"Nothing special; just a movie and dinner with Gale."

"Really? That's it?"

"What do you mean, what else were we supposed to do. We both like movies and dinner and we were waiting for you so we needed to kill time." I shake my head and give her a knowing grin.

"Alright," I smile and yawn. "Let's go to sleep."

The last week of school goes by in a blur and all we do is get our grades back for our finals. I pass all my classes and the only grade I'm nervous about receiving is that from my art class. Peeta had some input in our grades and Mr. Cinna seemed very excited to have is opinion. Mr. Cinna decided to hang those of the students with the highest grades around the school and if we didn't receive a canvas back with our grade, we knew our canvas was hanging up somewhere. He goes through all the names and when he gets to mine he just hands me a slip of paper. I look down at it and it reads:

_Grade: A. Very good use of oil paint and very interesting piece of art work._

I look up to him and he smiles and speaks, "Katniss you had one of the highest grades in the class, as well as one of the most interesting pieces. So I hung yours near the cafeteria. I hope you'll take a look at it today or at least try to come by during the summer." I smile back at him shyly not understanding how I could have gotten such a good grade or complement when he's only told me I've been improving not necessarily that I was any good.

I sit back against my seat and I notice only three students have their art work missing and therefore it's displayed. My face turns red when I hear some students behind me whispering.

"Oh they must have picked hers because they felt bad for her. It wasn't anything spectacular, just some red barn and butterflies." I feel myself getting angry but I decide to let it go. Easier said than done though.

For the rest of the day as I receive my grades I keep thinking about my art class. Why did I let those other kids get to me? Why did I think my artwork wasn't worth it? Mr. Cinna thought it was good and even Peeta. I really hope they're not treating me like a charity case and that they actually saw something in my piece.

After school Gale drives us to his house where they are setting up for his graduation party. Today was the last day of school and tonight is the senior graduation. Johanna happily chats away with his mother while his little sister Posy sits next to me.

"Hi Katniss," she says while she holds a doll. Posy is about 6 years old and looks a lot like how I looked when I was young. She has two braids, dark brown hair and the same gray eyes both Gale and I share. His other two brothers Rory and Shane only share the similar dark hair. Both of them however have blue eyes.

"Will you play dollies with me?" Posy pushes out a small soft doll in my direction and I take it cradling it in my arms and smiling at her. Once again I'm thinking about Prim and I have to hold back tears. Rory walks by a few minutes later and leans down to hug me. He's always been fond of me but I guess it could be because he was always trying to get on my good side because he had a crush on Prim and wanted me to talk to her on his behalf. He was really crushed when she died and was withdrawn for three months.

We exchange cordial hellos and he's off to the backyard with Shane. Shane is very quiet around me and I guess it's because he's 12 and just starting to notice girls. Gale told me he had a crush on me and I smiled thinking it was cute. Mrs. Hawthorne is in the kitchen and when she sees me she comes in to say hello. I apologize for not coming in there to see her but she tells me it's okay. I'm a bit sore so I took the nearest seat as soon as I came in. She continues on to ask how I'm doing and even asks about my mother. She senses the relationship is still not going well and leans in to hug me.

"It'll get better," she whispers and then gets up to finish preparing the meal for tonight.

Mr. Hawthorne comes in from work right before we pack up to leave. He's works at the steel mill where my dad used to work. We take a nice picture in front of their mantle of Gale in his cap and gown with all of us. I'm noticing again the subtlety of Gale with Johanna and somehow it begins to pull at me and I start to hear negative things in my head.

I use to have this problem when I first came home from the hospital and it was mostly my voice telling me how horrible I was for surviving while my dad and sister didn't. Ongoing therapy and medication helped that but it seems a whole new situation is popping up. I feel jealous that they have one another and I'll be alone soon enough.

I sit next to Johanna the entire graduation in silence and try to clap at the appropriate times. When Gale walks across the stage and gets his diploma the rest of his family and Johanna stand up to cheer. Johanna is jumping up high and whistling for him and even though I know she's doing this to embarrass him, part of me thinks she's doing this because she's a proud girlfriend.

By the time we're back at their house my head is spinning and I have to take a pain reliever for my head and sit in Gale's room because it's dark and secluded. Some of his friends stop by at the party and with the kids all running around; I just can't stand it. I find myself laying in his bed running my hands up and down his sheets. It smells like him and I wonder how Johanna feels when she smells him.

I start thinking about how it would feel to be turned on by someone; their scent, their appearance, and just them in general. I don't know why these feelings are rushing inside my head because I don't like Gale like that. I admit I enjoyed when he would hold me but it was more of a brotherly/fatherly type of affection that I've been missing from my own father. My mind keeps turning over these feelings and I eventually fall asleep.

Johanna wakes me up and I look at the clock and it's after midnight.

"We're going to spend the night here Katniss, is that okay?"

I rub my eyes and sit up and look at her. "Where will you guys sleep?" I say groggily

"Sleeping bags," she says pointing at two on the floor. I guess she's going to sleep next to him.

"Okay," I say nodding my head and I lay back down.

I try to go back to sleep but the same feelings and thoughts rush inside my head. After a while I start to hear Gale and Johanna whispering.

"Gale, we can't do this now. Katniss is sleeping right there."

"I know. I just can't help it. You looked so pretty tonight. It just turned me on."

"Gale," she says lightly and then I hear them start to kiss.

"Can I at least touch you?" He says and I hear the sleeping bags rustle and I assume she nodded her head. I try to close my eyes and will myself to sleep but Johanna is moaning way too loud for him to be just _touching _her. I feel my face warm at what they're obviously doing. The embarrassment goes away when I realize I wish I had someone to do whatever they're doing with.

In the morning I turn over and see Johanna wrapped in Gale's arms. His hands are on the small of her back under her shirt and her hands are planted on his chest. She's positioned right below his head. I turn back over and grab the blanket toward me and try to hold in the tears that are building up in the corners of my eyes. I really hope I don't lose my best friends to _each other_.


	7. Chapter 6

I tried to act normal the morning after I heard Johanna and Gale but of course I failed miserably. I blamed my mood on not sleeping in my own bed and luckily they bought it. I don't like feeling this way because they're not doing anything wrong. They found one another and are happy so I should be as well since I care about them.

The drive back home is quiet and I take the time to think about what I'll be telling my therapist this afternoon in my session. I want to work on why I'm bothered by what is happening with my friends. Am I upset because they haven't told me yet? Do I want someone in my life like that? I'm really confused and Dr. Aurelius is really good at helping me sort these things out.

It's still early morning when we arrive back to my house and my mother has already left for work. She never used to work Saturdays because it was family time. Now it seems she's at work more than she is at home. I quickly fix myself a small bowl of cereal and eat it and then take my morning medications before heading to my room. Gale left to go back home and Johanna is taking a shower. When she comes out she finds me on my bed looking through the pamphlet for the summer intensive.

"How are you feeling?" She asks me as she dries her hair.

"Better thank you."

"That's good." There's awkward silence but I don't attempt to engage her in conversation.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Johanna questions.

"I'm fine." I know my short answers are giving me away but I just continue to sit there thumbing through the pamphlet.

"Alright spill it Everdeen," Johanna says crossing her arms.

"Nothing is wrong, why don't you believe me?"

"Because I know you and how you get when you have something on your mind. Talk to me." Johanna walks over and takes the pamphlet out of my hands and plops herself on my bed. I sigh deeply and just look at her. I don't really know how to begin or if I should begin. I really want to talk to my therapist first so I don't make a mistake or come off wrong when I talk to her about what I'm feeling.

"Don't worry Johanna. It's nothing. Really." She gives me a worried look and scoots closer to me putting an arm around my shoulder.

"Are you thinking about the anniversary coming up?" I always think about the anniversary but that's not what's on the forefront of what's bothering me. If I really think about it of course that is bothering me along with the fact that my birthday is in a few weeks and I feel guilty making it to that birthday much less even celebrating it. I just don't want to talk about all of this right now.

"I just need to talk to Dr. Aurelius. When I come back I'll talk to you I promise. I just want to get his input first."

"You're starting to worry me Katniss. What could you be talking to him about that you can't tell me first?"

"It's just…personal." I tell her and I see a hurt look cross her face. "I'm sorry Johanna. You know I trust you with everything, even my own life. I need to speak to him first though so I don't go about the situation in the wrong way."

"Now you're starting to scare me. What is it Katniss?" She's look at me with those big brown eyes and I'm tempted to just blurt it out.

"Please just trust me Johanna. I can't talk about it right now, but when I can you will be the first to know about it." Johanna gives me a small smile and pats my shoulder.

"Okay. I trust you Katniss, but seriously don't keep it from me too long."

"I won't," I smile.

I call for a cab to take me to my therapy appointment since I didn't want to bother Gale today. Johanna has a license but I also didn't want to put her on the spot to ask Gale to use his car. I think they wanted to spend time together anyway; there goes my jealousy again. The cab comes on time and takes me to the office building where Dr. Aurelius' office is located.

"Hello Katniss," he greets me and offers me a seat on the couch. I sit down carefully and fold my cane. "How are you feeling this afternoon?"

"I'm okay. I have a few things I want to discuss that have been on my mind."

"Alright, that sounds good. Let's get started."

I begin and tell him about the situation with Johanna and Gale and how I fear that they will eventually leave me.

"So you think that if they get together they will leave you?"

"Yes, it's my greatest fear."

"Well I just want you to understand that both Johanna and Gale are making a huge sacrifice taking care of you and you know eventually they won't be able to do that anymore. Eventually you'll be well enough to care for yourself." I look at him and absorb his words.

"I know, I guess I'm just afraid."

"It's okay to have concerns and I think you should speak to them about that. I don't want you to make them feel guilty for finding one another though."

"I understand."

"How do you feel about the fact that they haven't told you yet?"

"I feel left out, but guess they're probably waiting to speak to me when they are ready."

"I think so too. You need to be patient with them and give them time and when they approach you, you need to tell them your concerns."

"Alright." Dr. Aurelius goes on to discuss this situation until I bring up the next one.

"I think I also feel lonely and maybe a bit jealous since I don't have anyone."

"Do you want someone as a friend or something more?"

"I'm not sure, maybe a little of both."

"Okay Katniss, before you can take that big step you need to start small. I recommend that you try to make new friends. I understand that your summer intensive starts after next week. Do you think you can try to meet new people there?"

"I think so. I already met a few people at the mixer who will be there."

"Alright. Tell me about them." I go on and tell him about Rue and how she was a classmate of Prim's. He tells me it would be a good idea to get to know her because she knew Prim and that could help me continue to gain closure over her death.

"There's also my art instructor Peeta. I met him a few weeks ago when he came to invite me to the mixer the Y had. Peeta helped my art teacher with our final projects and he told me my artwork was good and encouraged me to continue on. He knew my family from the bakery his family owns and offered to be there for me to talk if I needed it."

"Sounds like a nice person. I would suggest you be open to talking with him during the summer. Does he also work at the high school?"

"He's trying to get a position there next year."

"Okay. Well it's always a good idea to have teachers as a resource if you are having any trouble. They are trained to know what they can handle and when to get others involved."

I end my session with Dr. Aurelius with reassurance of my endeavor to make new friends so I don't feel as lonely. When I arrive home the house is empty and I assume Johanna and Gale are out so I sit on the couch and watch some women's movies network. Just as a commercial comes on I hear a key in the door and judging by the time it must be Johanna coming back. They must not see me because she pushes in the door hard and I see that her and Gale are lip locked falling through the threshold. They barely make it a few steps before Gale notices me.

"Katniss!" He yelps. The two jump apart and it's comical looking at the two flustered and red faced.

"It's not what it looks like," Johanna says putting her hands up as she walks toward me.

"We thought you would still be at therapy," Gale adds.

I turn myself sideways on the couch and pat the seats next to me signaling them to come sit down. I'm not sure why they look so scared that they were caught kissing in front of me.

"Katniss I'm so sorry we were doing that in your house." Johanna says with her eyes wide and her hands clasping mine.

"What's the big deal? You two are obviously seeing one another. And it's just kissing." That came out smoother than I had thought it would. I guess I just needed to actually see it to believe it. The other times it was subtle but now they were blatantly kissing. Johanna looks over at Gale who is now sitting next to her and he reaches for one of her hands that are over mine.

"Katniss," he begins. "Johanna and I have been together for a few weeks now and we just wanted to keep it quiet for a little while and make sure it was working out before we told you. I don't want you to think we were hiding behind your back; we just wanted to be sure things were going well."

"Well are they?" I ask and by the timid smiles I see on their faces, I already have the answer to my question.

"I'm glad they are because you two are my best friends and I want you to be happy."

"Thank you," they both tell me and they pull me into a hug.

Later that night while the three of us are having dinner I bring up the rest of what Dr. Aurelius wanted to speak to them about.

"You know I kind of suspected something was going on," I begin.

"Really? Were we that obvious?" Johanna smiles looking at Gale.

"A little. I kind of let my head get the best of me and I felt a little jealous."

"Is that why you were acting weird earlier and needed to talk to your therapist about it?" I nod.

"Why were you jealous Katniss?" Gale asks. Suddenly Johanna turns red and looks down to her plate of food.

"You didn't like Gale did you?" She says quietly moving her fork around her plate.

"No! Yuck! He's like my brother." Johanna lets out a relieved laugh and Gale gives me a look.

"Well did you like Johanna?" Johanna smirks and Gale smiles widely.

"She's not my type. I like blondes with big boobs." The three of us start laughing and I find myself smiling at them. I'm surprised how good I'm feeling about this situation since just yesterday I was feeling so bummed out my mind started to play tricks on me.

"Honestly I was just worried you guys would leave me." The two of them stop laughing and reach out for my hands.

"We're not going anywhere," Gale says and Johanna nods.

"It's selfish of me to even get mad if you guys did want to go. I appreciate everything you two do for me but eventually you'll have to have your own lives. I'll get better and I'll able to take care of myself so…" Johanna cuts me off and gets out of seat and kneels down before me.

"We're not leaving anytime soon. Heck if we have to get an apartment together we will. We both made the commitment to take care of you after you came home. Even when you get better we will still be near you." I look over to Gale and he's nodding and smiling. I feel wrapped in love when I stare at both of my best friends. I'm so lucky to have them in my life. Johanna pats my hand one last time and goes back to her seat.

"So did Dr. Aurelius say anything else?" Gale asks putting salad in his mouth.

"Well he suggested I try to make some friends during the summer so I don't feel as lonely when you guys are together."

"That sounds like a good idea," Johanna says lifting her glass of water. "Who did you have in mind?"

"Well Rue of course and possibly Peeta."

"He's nice enough," Gale says with a hint of something in his voice.

"What's wrong with him?" I laugh.

"Nothing. I'm just protective of you. You are like my sister you know," and we both chuckle.

We finish up dinner and clean up the kitchen before retiring to bed. Gale leaves just before kissing Johanna goodbye and then hugging me. I shower and wait in bed for Johanna to finish her nightly ritual and she joins me soon after. After we pull the blankets up to our chins I decide I want to ask a few more questions I couldn't while Gale was here.

"How does it feel," I begin, "to be with someone you've have such intense feelings for?"

"I don't know. It's hard to explain," she tells me after a few moments of thought. "I never thought I would want to be with Gale but one day I just noticed him. He would tease me and I would tease him back and one Saturday while you were at therapy it all changed. I was at his house helping him clean his room and somehow we started a pillow fight and then we both landed on his bed. I look up at his gray eyes and I just got lost. Before I knew it he was kissing me and then I was confused for a few days before I realized I wanted to pursue something with him." Johanna is looking off in the distance and I can tell she's thinking about him.

"That's really nice. I want that eventually with someone. I know I have a long way to go though. Dr. Aurelius suggests I start small with new relationships and that's why he recommended me make new friends and when I can deal with that maybe I can then start to date. I think I still have a lot more healing to do."

"You do and we're helping you do that. It wouldn't hurt though to have some additional help. You know from a tall blonde." Johanna starts laughing and once again she's teasing me about Peeta.

"You really won't get off it. He's my teacher Johanna and he's a lot older than we are. It's like robbing the cradle."

"You're so pure Katniss," she laughs. " 21 isn't that old especially when the guy is older. Guys are on the same level as us when they are older so that's why it's a good idea to be with older guys."

"Oh, so that explains you and Gale." I laugh and Johanna pinches me lightly on my arm.

Our night ends like many the next week before I start my summer session; Johanna and I having girl talk. I don't ask for explicit details about Gale but she shares her feelings about him and their relationship. I feel like I'm handling it well hearing about my two best friends but it keeps nagging at me that I'm so far off from having that with another person. In my next session with Dr. Aurelius, he's pleased that I'm handling them being together so well but he's also weary that if I keep dwelling on where I'm not at in life I will drive myself into another depressive episode. He advises me to take everything one step at a time and one day at a time.

With all that in mind I walk in on Monday to check in for the first day of my intensive and the first person I see when I walk in my art class is him. Peeta is smiling at everyone and introducing himself as he walks toward the back of the classroom where I'm sitting next to Rue. He goes to her first and they share a formal introduction. He walks over to me and I see a change in his expression like he's really happy to see me. It's weird and it does something to my stomach. He's my instructor after all and we've had many exchanges but there's just something else there I can't decipher. I'm just not good at all of this but I know I want to get to know him and hopefully be friends. Dr. Aurelius is right; he can be a great resource for me.

"Hello Katniss. It's really great to see you." I smile shyly at him and he goes on to congratulate me on my painting being displayed at the school. "I hope you change your mind about sharing it with the class," he says quietly not to bring attention to his request. With that he smiles at me one last time before heading back to the front of the class and starting an ice breaker.


	8. Chapter 7

"Very good Katniss," Peeta says to me as he hovers over my latest creation in class. It's the end of the second week of the intensive and we've been working with pencils; colored and lead, and pens. I've built up a little portfolio so far with various subjects. We did still life, the moving image, self-portraits and random ideas the class threw at him.

I've been very happy in this intensive so far pouring myself into this art class, hanging out with Rue, and progressing in my physical therapy. Peeta is a very good instructor and everyone seems very comfortable with him. It must be his youthful appearance and his general love for the subject.

"Alright guys, please hand in your final piece for this section on your way out. Next week we start watercolors." A series of yes' and okay's ring out through the room as the class pulls their papers off of the easel's and desk's that we were using to lean on while we drew. I stare at my creation of Prim. I didn't expect to draw her but it started out with her two braids I would put her hair in when we went to bed. Before I realized I was drawing her face and Rue sat next to me with her hand on my shoulder encouraging me to continue.

Rue is an interesting girl that I've come to like these past few weeks. She's decent at drawing and loves to talk. She's been trying to get me to come listen to her sing in her music class since hers overlap my lunch hour, but I'm just not ready to face the music; literally. Her final drawing is also of her family but she drew them as various animals.

I'm the last one to leave the class, as Rue has left already wishing me a great rest of the day and weekend.

"That's beautiful Katniss," Peeta tells me as I hand him my paper. I keep my portfolio in his classroom until I collect it before I head home in the late afternoon. The Y has arranged for a bus to pick up certain students; mostly those in the physical therapy session, so it's beneficial for me so I don't have to depend on anyone to take me home.

"Thank you Peeta." He's allowed us to call him Peeta in this class but if he's offered a position at the school we would have to call him Mr. Mellark.

"You really are a great artist Katniss, especially when you do something so meaningful." I stand there nearly blushing as he examines my paper. I watch him trace the contours of Prim's face with his thumb.

"I like the fact that you left it black and white and didn't color it in. By the way you shaded her eyes I could still tell that they were blue." All of these compliments from him form a warm pool in my stomach and I can't help but maintain a smile.

"Well I don't want to keep you from your lunch break. I have another class in a half hour. I'll see you next week Katniss. Good job as always." Peeta reaches out and pats my exposed fore arm when he says that and I can't help but feel the warmth of his large hands. I walk out of the class looking back to give him a small wave and he smiles at me.

During my lunch I try to finish my sandwich but all I can think about is Peeta and his art class. He's very nice to me and I figure it will be easy to talk to him if I needed to. He's been very helpful with my art; always giving me encouraging words and I wonder if he does that to other students. I think about the popular girls who are in the class and a lot of them seem to fawn over him and giggle whenever they are near him. That must be annoying. It seems only Rue and I are civil when he comes around. I guess it would be hard not to fawn over him especially with that wavy blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. Peeta is definitely attractive. He's probably has girls lining up to date him. He probably has a girlfriend already I would imagine. Wait, why do I care about that?

After my lunch I head to physical therapy and Haymitch has already lined up a few students to start their regimens. I put my purse down in the lockers they provide for us and he takes me over to the machine that will work out my left leg. Afterward, I will work on my left arm. He begins my reps and one of his assistants come over to continue. By the time I'm icing down my left side, I'm feeling sore and I wonder if I over extended myself but then I remember I may have forgotten to take my medication during lunch.

I try to compensate and take my medications right then and there but the pain is already coming on strongly. I walk out slowly to wait for the buses but I have to pass by Peeta's classroom to pick up my portfolio to take home.

"Hey Katniss," he greets me as I walk into his classroom. I try to hide the pain on my face but he notices right away. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just took my medication late so I'm a bit sore after my physical therapy."

"Let me get that," he says taking my portfolio from the shelf behind his desk. "Are you alright taking the bus in your condition?"

"It's alright Peeta. I can manage," I tell him but I wince once I readjust my bag on my right shoulder.

"It doesn't look like it. Here, I can take you home if you like. I have my next class in 2 hours so it's not a problem." I give it serious thought but feel a bit awkward taking a ride from an instructor. The pain I'm in makes the decision for me as I think about how bumpy the bus is.

"Okay," I reply.

Peeta walks me out to his car, which is a newer model sedan. He helps me in and then buckles my seat belt. I see him make a phone call before he sits down in the car and I assume it's to the director of the program so they will know where he is.

"Sorry about that," he says as he hops into the car. "Had to call the boss." I give Peeta directions to my house and he drives slowly and tries his best to avoid bumps and potholes. When he does hit one he apologizes profusely. He arrives at my house 15 minutes later and helps me inside. No one is home yet; everyone's at work, and he insists on helping me to my room. Thank God I cleaned up this morning. Peeta helps me into the bed and after giving him easy directions to my kitchen, he comes back with water for me to take my pill. I'll have to take a morphine tablet for this breakthrough pain.

After I take the pill I sit back trying to relax and Peeta sits on the edge of my bed holding my hand. I didn't notice it at first since I was in so much pain, but as the pill started to work and my skin turned into a sensitive mesh, I felt his thumb circling on the top of my hand.

"How are you feeling?" I look at him and his eyes looks like pools of water and I begin to laugh. Oh the pills are working.

"Better," and I know my own eyes must look glassy.

"I can tell," he says giving me a small chuckle. I continue to enjoy the ministrations on my hand and suddenly I wish his hands were in other places. Oh boy, the effects of these drugs.

"Is anyone coming home soon?" He asks with concern on his face.

"In an hour or so."

"Okay well I'll stay until they get here."

"It's okay. You can get back to your class if you need to," I tell him. Why was I telling him that? I would much rather him stay here with me, but how awkward is it to have a teacher in your house? Especially a really hot young one. Oh my, I'm definitely loopy.

"No Katniss I won't leave you like this. Maybe I should call one of your friends to see if they are already on their way."

I give him the best sigh I can muster hoping he doesn't realize I don't want him to go back to school. I give him Johanna's phone number and he dials it. When she picks up, he stands up and paces my room as he talks to her.

"She was just getting out of work. She said Gale was picking her up," Peeta relays the message to me.

Peeta sits back down and continues to hold my hand making his circles. It feels impossibly good on my overly sensitive skin and I have to bite my lip to stifle a moan. He keeps staring at me and smiles every now and then.

"Katniss?" I hear Johanna's voice a little while later at the front door. She enters my room with Gale right behind her. Peeta stands up and explains the situation.

"Thank you for staying with her," Gale says shaking his hand.

"Well my class is starting soon so I better get going. Feel better Katniss," he says smiling at me. He says goodbye to the others and I know my cheeks darken as Gale leads him out the door.

"What was that?" Johanna asks.

"He already told you. I got sick at school and he helped me home."

"Not that, the blush."

"It must be the medication," I lie. Johanna gives me a knowing smirk but doesn't press the issue further.

The feeling of the morphine wears off later that evening somewhere between dinner and my shower before bed. Gale leaves with the usual kiss for Johanna and hug for me. I lay in bed later that night, listening to Johanna tell me about the phone call she received from school saying she was accepted into the CNA program.

"I'm so proud of you," I tell her giving her a hug.

"Thank you. We'll have one more thing to celebrate this weekend besides your birthday."

"I think we will just be celebrating your accomplishment. You know how I feel about my birthday." I really don't want to be reminded of my 17th birthday; the one where I don't have a sister who is supposed to be Rue's age and going into high school. Or the fact that I don't have a father to hug me and give me one of his famous kisses on the forehead. I think I will just pass.

"Alright, I won't pressure you into celebrating but you will at least have a piece of cake."

"Johanna," I tell her in a nagging voice.

"Alright, alright!" Johanna replies throwing up her hands. I know she's not annoyed with me and I appreciate her trying, but I just can't do this this year. Maybe in the future when I've healed more, but right now I'm still too broken.

I don't hear anything else about my birthday on Saturday, but on the actual day of my birthday; on Sunday, Johanna wakes me up to breakfast in bed. I begrudgingly eat it and try to smile for the one picture I allow her to take; just me and her. Gale comes over later and I allow him one picture as well. I think I might have warmed up to the fact that today was my birthday if my mom even remembered it, but when she comes home all she does is give us a silent wave and heads for her room. There's no way she didn't see the cake they bought from the Mellark Bakery sitting on the counter with a '17' on it. Gale shook his head and Johanna ignored her as she walked by. She lit the candles and once again I obliged her blowing out the candles; but I didn't eat one bite.

I left the two of them alone to their own devices with the cake and I took my medicine and curled up into bed. I let the tears fall until I heard Johanna and Gale coming to my room.

"Happy birthday again," Gale says leaning down to kiss my forehead. I try to smile but my face won't allow it. Johanna gives me a sympathetic look and after she shows Gale out, she curls up next to me in bed. I give in and roll over onto her and let out my frustrations; crying into her night shirt. She whispers she's sorry and strokes my hair.

The next day I head to my intensive trying to forget the events of the weekend. Rue is already sitting at our station and I greet her with a smile. Luckily she doesn't know me well enough to know I'm faking it and just hugs me good morning as always. Peeta starts the lesson with a demonstration as always and then passes around the supplies. He's brought in many of the same objects we drew the last two weeks and added in some new ones for us to incorporate in a piece he wants us to create showing a memorable summer we've had. I don't see any crushed cars or wheelchairs, so I guess I'll be winging mine. I do notice some of the new objects include candles, a filled balloon and a present. If I wanted to acknowledge my 17th birthday I could use those but instead I just go for the generic objects found at the beach.

As the class time dwindles down I see Rue has created a scene of a picnic with her large family and she includes some of the plastic food Peeta arranged in a few baskets. I put together a scene from a day at the lake near my grandparent's house. I can't seem to go wrong with those memories. Soon the time is up and everyone puts their paintings away in their portfolios. Rue gives me a hug goodbye and walks with a bounce in her step to her music class. Before I can get up to hand Peeta mine, he's next to my painting looking at it.

"Interesting as always, but I hoped you would have painted that very important day you just celebrated." I look at him giving him an expression of not knowing what he means. "I know your birthday was yesterday. Your friends came by the bakery to pick up your cake. I iced it myself. Did you like it?" I really don't want to go into details but I remember Dr. Aurelius advising me that Peeta can be a good resource if I allowed myself to talk to him.

"I didn't eat any," I tell him looking away and at my painting.

"Why not?" I pause for a long moment before I answer him again.

"I'm just not up for celebrating this year." Peeta looks at me and it's just like that that he realizes what I'm saying.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

"It's okay," I say cutting him off. "One day I'll celebrate, just not his year."

"Okay. Well I hope I can make you a cake then." Peeta smiles at me and once again his hand lands on my forearm patting it lightly.

"Well Happy Birthday anyway Katniss."

"Thank you," I tell him giving him a weak smile.

I hand him my artwork as usual and he tucks it away in my portfolio and then puts it back on the shelf.

"I hope you're feeling better otherwise," he calls to me just before I hit the threshold of the door on my way to lunch. I turn around and tell him that I am and I thank him again for helping me that day. The grin on his face tells me he would do it all over again if he had the chance.


	9. Chapter 8

At the end of our watercolors section Peeta surprises us with a class trip to the meadow so that we can put some of our new skills to work. It's a particularly hot day in the end of June and we pack into an even hotter yellow school bus to drive a few miles down the road to get to the meadow. Because it's so sunny I have to wear a hoodie and cotton sweat pants to protect my skin. I feel a bit hot and earn a few stares and low giggles from my classmates. Of course Rue understands and offers to help me fan myself when she sees me produce one I've made out of drawing paper.

Rue is talking the entire time on the ride over and all I can think about is my birthday cake. To my surprise neither Gale nor Johanna touched it and it took me exactly 2 weeks to finish it off. I had the last piece this morning and have been willing myself not to approach Peeta and tell him how good it was. I felt bad enough I told him I didn't have any of it after he told me he iced it himself, so I feel if I tell him now he might think he made me feel guilty about it. Actually when I saw that it was still untouched in my refrigerator, I gave in and had a slice and that led to another and of course one more. I cut it up in little pieces and put it in the freezer and enjoyed a piece every day since.

"Alright class, please don't go too far. The goal of today is to capture nature using whichever means of supplies we have used in class so far." Peeta has brought along a few plastic bins filled with pencils; color and lead, water color palettes, brushes, and pads of drawing paper. Rue and I find a nice tree to sit under and we get started.

The other students scatter throughout the meadow taking seats on various patches of green grass. I decide to do a pencil drawing of a birds nest above me while Rue lays flat on her back staring at a patch of sky visible through the branches.

"You know what this reminds me of?" She questions

"No, what?" I keep my attention on my sketch pad.

"When my grandmother used to sing to me. I would lie in her lap looking toward the sky and she'd sing."

"Oh, really? What kinds of songs?"

"All types. I like the meadow one the best."

"How does that one go?" I ask

Rue begins to sing a song that I immediately remember but haven't heard in a long while.

"_Deep in the meadow, under the willow. A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_."

Before I know it I'm humming it and then I sing very softly. Rue turns toward me and I see her brown eyes widen.

"Katniss your voice. It's so, wow! Why don't you sing?"

"I'm not that good," I answer her in a monotone voice.

"What?" she says making a swatting gesture. "You're great. You should join chorus next year."

"I used to be a part of it, but not since the accident."

Rue shakes her head in understanding and in the distance I see Peeta's staring at us. He has an indiscernible look on his face and he's drawing something. My cheeks warm and I look back at my paper. Rue doesn't notice and continues singing.

On the way back to the Y Peeta walks around the bus collecting our drawings.

"Good job," he tells us both and takes our drawings. I look out the window watching the trees of the meadow turn into sidewalks and eventually the YMCA building.

"See you guys next week." Peeta's says as we exit the bus.

After physical therapy I stop by Peeta's classroom to collect my portfolio and head home.

"I never knew you could sing," he says greeting me at the door with my portfolio. I look at him confused then the memory floods me.

"You heard me?" I say embarrassed.

"I did and it was beautiful. You're really talented Katniss."

"I'm not Peeta," I say shaking my head.

"You don't believe that," he says folding his arms. I just shrug and place the portfolio in my bag.

Peeta walks closer to me and rests a hand on my shoulder. I look up to him and he says, "Hey, don't short change yourself. You're good at many things. Remember that."

"I wish I could believe that, " I tell him and then I give him a half smile. I slowly walk toward the doorway; his hand and arm dropping like lead next to his body.

"See you next week Peeta." I leave him there leaning on the desk. He almost looks disappointed.

A cab is waiting for me outside of the Y to take me straight to my doctor's appointment. Even though it's not officially a year since the accident, that is the purpose of this appointment. Earlier in the week I had some blood drawn and one of the Medical Assistants there informed me that my doctor wanted to talk to me about a new medication.

"Hello Katniss how are you?" The tall man asks.

"I'm okay." He nods and continues sifting through a pile of papers that are probably my lab reports.

"Well I looked over the blood work you had done earlier this week and everything is improving. When was the last time you took morphine for break through pain?"

I go on to tell him about my last few episodes.

"Katniss you must not forget to take your medication. That seems to have been a cause to why you needed to take the morphine those times. Well I have good news that should alleviate the need for that. There's a new medication I want to try with you where you won't have the problem of forgetting to take it as well as its only one drug instead of the several you are taking now. It's a once a month combination medication that will help with all your lingering issues after the accident. It will work on inflammation along the bones that were broken, as well as help with the nerve damage and pain that leads to your muscle spasms. It's in injection form and you'll come here and I'll administer it. After the first shot you should see a difference in a few weeks. As a result you'll be off of all your other medications except the ones from your therapist. I will downgrade your pain medication to an OTC one and we'll probably look at something new for your skin as well."

I nod as he explains and I can't help but feel hopeful about finally progressing in my treatment.

He goes on to examine me and takes notes on how my skin appears as well as how my hair is growing. It's a little longer since school ended, but only an inch or two. He recommends something for my scalp to continue nourishing the skin so my hair follicles will return to normal. Lastly he administers the shot in my arm and puts a Band-Aid on the spot.

"Alright Katniss. I'll see you next month for your next shot." He hands me the prescriptions for the cream and shampoo as well as one for an OTC pain reliever. There's a pharmacy next door so I step in and wait for my prescriptions to be processed. Afterward I call my cab and take the time to read over the pamphlets for my new medications , noting some of the side effects which include hair growth and headache. Something tells me that hair growth won't be where I need it to be.

When I walk into the house I see that Johanna and Gale are home and are hovering over something in the kitchen.

"What's that?" I ask observing a Mellark Bakery box.

"It came for you." Johanna says pushing the box toward me. Cheese buns.

"And this card," Gale chimes in handing me an envelope. I take it and turn around to open and read it.

_Hey Katniss_

_Here's a treat to sweeten up your day! My father remembered you use to love these. I hope you still do._

_-Peeta_

Wow, is all I can think as my eyes well up with tears. My dad always brought these home on Fridays. We'd sit around his easy chair drinking mugs of hot chocolate and eating the pastries while listening to him tell us stories. That was always my favorite part about Friday nights. I remember my mother being there; even when she had a headache from work.

I push the box back toward them and tell them to eat them and I disappear in my room. I cry for a long while before I open my locked door for Johanna who has been knocking steadily on it the entire time.

"Sorry, I just needed a minute." I tell her and she wipes a tear from my cheek . We walk over to my bed and just sit there staring at one another. Gale wants to send them back but I tell him not to. Peeta doesn't know the extent of my pain and it was an innocent gesture. If I would talk to him maybe he would know my triggers by now. I was advised to trust him. I think I'll work on that next week.

On Monday before class Peeta asks me right away if I liked the cheese buns. He's smiling as if he's pleased with himself.

"They were great thank you," I tell him as I fake my way through a smile. I hate that I just lied but I can't go into this now. I sit down at my usual desk and smile at Rue who just witnessed the whole thing. She gives me a sly smile and winks.

Then she whispers, "He gave you cheese buns!" I try not to smile but how could I not. She reminds me so much of Prim when she wanted to know some gossip about a boy I may have been seeing.

"Yes," I say quietly.

"Oooh," she says in a teasing manner. I smile and shake my head and she just laughs.

By the end of the class we have gone over oil paintings and started creating something basic of our own. I gather my things and walk to the front of the classroom to once again hand Peeta my painting. As I leave he waves to me good bye and I reciprocate. Suddenly I'm thankful I'm always last to leave because this blush on my face isn't fading and I really don't want to talk about it with anyone. I'm still trying to figure out why I blush so much around him in the first place.

After physical therapy with Haymitch I make my way back to Peeta's class.

"Back for more?" He jokes, already with my portfolio in hand.

"Actually I was wondering if I could talk to you." I thought about what I wanted to say my entire PT session. Haymitch noticed I was far away and kept bringing me back to the task at hand. By the time I was icing down my left side he had redirected me several times.

"Gotta get your head out of the clouds," he scolded me as I left.

Peeta looks at me with furrowed brows but offers me the desk closest to his.

"What's up?"

"About earlier," I begin, " I need to apologize. I didn't eat the cheese buns."

Peeta looks bewildered then speaks after a moment. "Did I cross another line or something?" He asks quietly.

"It's nothing you did. It's not like you know my triggers or anything."

"I would like to know." He adds.

I go on to discuss how I'm still dealing with the loss of my family and every day is still very much a struggle. I'm still reminded of them in little and big things.

"My family was and still is a big part of my life and it seems everything reminds me of them. I can't even sing anymore without tears coming to my eyes, and I used to love doing that. Every holiday I think of them. Every time I pass our favorite diner on the way home from school I get a knot in my stomach. It's just so overwhelming."

"Well what did your therapist recommend you do? I assume you are seeing someone?"

"I am. He just wants me to talk to him and to talk to others who care about me, like my friends…"

"I care about you," he interrupts and this time he's the one turning red. "You're one of my students; my best students in fact. I care about your wellbeing," he adds clearing his throat.

"Thanks," I say looking at my hands on the desk.

"I'm glad you shared that with me. I meant it when I said before that you could talk to me about anything. I may be your art teacher but I like to see myself also as your friend." Peeta gives me a hopeful smile and I return it.

"Thank you Peeta. That really means a lot." He nods his head and holds out his hand for me to grab as I get up.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow," he says walking me to the threshold of his classroom.

"See you tomorrow."


	10. Chapter 9

Today is America's birthday so we don't have our intensive sessions today. Peeta encouraged us to head to the annual Panem July 4th celebration at the meadow to not only have fun but to draw inspiration for a piece for our oil painting section. There will be a barbecue and booths set up by local businesses and of course fireworks as the finale tonight. Peeta will be there with his family's bakery operating the booth with his brothers Rye and Mason. They're both married and work at the bakery. They studied business and intended on taking over the business from their parents.

Over the last week Peeta and I have shared things about our lives and families. Besides learning about his brother's and family life, he's told me that they are opening a Mellark Bar and Grill that will be connected to the bakery. Rye will continue running the bakery with his wife while Mason will run the new business with his wife. Peeta and his parents will help out with both. They plan to have a grand opening around October.

Peeta found out recently that they will be offering him a position in the high school teaching art as well as a possible coaching spot on the wrestling team. I was very happy for him since he loves working with us but I can't help wonder if I'll be able to talk to him like this when school starts. I think I felt a pang of jealousy when he told me a few days ago because it was all he talked about the hour I've been spending with him after my physical therapy session. It's not a definite position but something tells me he'll be there even if they don't have him as a coach. Those guys will be very lucky to have someone so supportive and attentive.

Dr. Aurelius is pleased that I've opened up to Peeta as well as spent time with Rue. I've invited her over my house for movie night with Gale and Johanna as well as gone to the mall with her a few times. I find it really easy to talk to Peeta who is a patient listener and Rue is just fun to be around.

"Can I sit here?" Peeta asks standing over me. I'm sitting on a blanket with Gale and Johanna and the fireworks are about to start. I didn't even notice him there until he spoke.

"Hey Peeta. Sure," I say and I get a smirk from Johanna. They all greet one another and Johanna and Gale go back to looking at the sky waiting for the show to start.

"How do you like this year's celebration so far?"

"Fun." Peeta asked me during one of our talks how I usually celebrated and I told him about our usual picnics. My dad grew up in the town over and he knew how to hunt. Each year he'd go back there to hunt and then grill whatever his catch was; usually deer, and share it with everyone. He's taken me a few times to practice my bow and arrow skills and I was decent. This year since I turned 17 was supposed to be the first year I'd be allowed to shoot something.

"Did you eat enough? There are so many good booths."

"Yes and I even went to your family's booth."

"Really?" He says smiling.

"Yes. Your brother said you were making a delivery to one of your usual customers and I just missed you." Peeta lets out a chuckle. "I bought a cheese bun. It was really good."

"I know. I made them this morning."

We continue laughing when we hear the first boom of the fireworks. We look up and see the beginning of bright lights streaming across the sky. I lean back on my elbows looking toward the sky and Peeta does the same.

I notice after a few minutes the proximity of Peeta's pinky to my own. He's wiggling it out of excitement of what he is watching and it's brushing up against mine. After the first time I tense up thinking he was doing it on purpose but when I look over to him he's staring at the sky oblivious to his movements. I continue watching; silently enjoying the feel of his finger and then there's a louder boom and I'm startled. I sit up straighter immediately and Peeta goes toward my hand holding it.

"Alright?" He asks smiling. Suddenly my mouth is dry and my face feels warm.

"I'm okay," I manage. I reach for my bottled water and take a drink. "Just startled that's all," I say nervously. Peeta nods and then our heads are pointed toward the sky once again. Peeta is still holding my hand and doesn't let go until the show is over 20 minutes later.

I'm relieved most people around us were too busy watching the show to notice we were holding hands. He's my teacher after all but I don't honestly think that gesture was intended to be romantic; he was just comforting me. Gale and Johanna get up and tell us they're going to hit another booth and I see Gale wink at me as they walk away. Thanks, now I'm blushing again.

"Did you enjoy the show?" Peeta asks me.

"It was good," I reply looking at the hand he was holding. Suddenly it feels very cold despite the warm night.

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed it." We continue sitting in a somewhat awkward silence until my phone beeps with a message.

_Hey we're heading back to the car. Are you ready to go?_

Johanna is ready to go and she's conveniently left me with the cooler and blanket. Her plans to get Peeta to walk with me are so transparent. Well I'm not complaining.

"It looks like my friends are ready to go and they're my ride, so…" I trail off. Peeta stands up first and then helps me. I pull up the blanket and then unlock my cane. I've been feeling better even though it's only been a week since I had my shot. I still carry my cane just in case though. I fold the blanket and Peeta picks up the cooler.

"I'll walk you if that's okay?" He asks innocently.

"Sure, thank you." Peeta follows me toward where the car is parked and out of nowhere I nearly trip over someone's left behind trash.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Peeta asks grabbing my arm to steady me.

"Yes, just lost my footing." I smile at him and I feel him position his hand on the small of my back.

"So you won't trip again," he says sheepishly. I pay close attention to his hand as I continue to walk to the car. I hear Peeta's even breaths as we walk a slower pace.

"Here we are," I say as we arrive to the car. Gale and Johanna are nowhere in sight.

"Where did your friends go?"

"Maybe the bathrooms?" I answer and then I fish out the spare keys from my purse. Peeta helps me put the items in the trunk and then I open the back door. He helps me settle in and then goes around the back of the car and surprises me by sliding into the back with me.

"I'll keep you company until they get here." I'm smiling nervously again and I'm suddenly aware of my surroundings. Most of the cars have already left and the rest are being filled with families. No one is watching us.

Peeta starts easy conversation with me and I respond appropriately.

"So I'm excited for the bar and grill opening soon. My father is a decent cook and I've been learning from him. Do you have any favorites Katniss?"

"Nothing really, just the regular. I love burgers and fries." I answer and he laughs.

"Well we will have a lot of that, but I also want some signature pieces. Maybe some hearty meat and potato sort of foods. My grandmother used to make a really good lamb stew. I'll try to get that on the menu so you can try it out. I know you'll love it."

"Sure," I say and just then I see Gale and Johanna approaching the car.

"Hey kids," Johanna says. "We're back. I hope you two were being good." Peeta laughs and I think I just turned a new shade of red. Peeta turns to me and pats my hand.

"Well I had a good time. I'll see you tomorrow in class?"

"Of course," and I nervously push a piece of hair behind my ear. Peeta grins widely and then says good night to all of us while getting out of the car.

"Interesting," Gale chimes in once Peeta is far away from the car.

"Shut up" I yell to them and then we all burst into a fit of laughs. I'm annoyed at them but secretly happy I had extra alone time with Peeta. I know what they are trying to do but they must know that Peeta wouldn't jeopardize his job over me and I'm just his student. He's just a nice caring, person. I'll keep telling myself that every time my heart skips a beat when he's around.

Gale drives us home but decides to spend the night since he will be taking Johanna to work in the morning on his way in. They cuddle up on her twin bed and I stretch out on my own. I told them jokingly no funny business while we're sleeping but I'm also positive they did something when I was in the shower. It's fine though I guess. They love one another. Who am I to stand in their way?

We finish our section of oil painting and hand in our final assignment which was to be inspired by July 4th. I've been doing well emotionally over the past few weeks but it all came to a standstill when _the _anniversary came up.

It's the morning of the anniversary of Dad and Prim's death and I can't move. I'm frozen in bed and Johanna immediately notices it. She calls to me and I just can't move.

"Come on Katniss. You need to get up for your intensive." She nudges at me and I keep ignoring her. After her pleading I finally answer her.

"No."

"I understand but it's not healthy to stay like this." Johanna gently speaks to me for nearly an hour and finally when Gale comes over to pick her up, she gives in and lets me stay in bed.

"I'm going to call you around lunch time. You better be up."

After a week of being bed bound I get a visitor who's not a doctor, their assistant or an emotional Johanna and Gale. Peeta walks in my room carrying a picnic basket. I'm sitting up in bed still sore from physical therapy. Haymitch sent one of his assistants over the second day I was home to do my physical therapy. Even Dr. Aurelius stopped by but no one could get me to leave my room.

"Hello Katniss, we've missed you. Rue told me you talked to her via text and told her you weren't feeling well. I thought I bring you something to eat today. I found a substitute for my later section of my intensive so I have some extra time."

I stare at Peeta wordlessly and he sets the basket on my bed. I can smell a mixture of aromas but my stomach refuses. There's a food tray I've used often for when I ate in bed, wedged between the bed and nightstand. He places it on my lap and wipes it down with a paper towel.

"I hope you like this. It's my grandmother's lamb stew." Peeta opens the basket and takes out various containers and sets them on the table. There's a small bowl with a spoon he arranges in front of me which he fills with rice from one container, and then the chunky stew from the other. The smell of it invades my nostrils and I can't help but lick my lips. Peeta smiles and somehow so does my stomach. Peeta clears everything else but the bowl of stew.

"Please try it Katniss." He asks. I haven't eaten much this past week; just enough to swallow my pills. His blue eyes pierce me and his encouraging smile finally does me in. I pick up the spoon and put it in the stew. At first I swirl it to see the contents. I see potatoes, lamb and raisins. I spoon a small potato in my mouth. Wow. This is good.

"That wasn't too bad was it?" He smiles again and I let the corner of my mouth lift. Peeta eventually sits next to where my feet end and watches me until the bowl is empty.

"More?" He asks, and I shake my head. He takes the plate and hands me my water bottle and I drink a generous amount. Peeta takes that away and begins digging in his basket again.

"Now, time for dessert." He pulls out a container that has condensation on it.

"I just made these this morning before work. I heated them up before I left the Y so they should still be warm." He opens it and puts a small puffed pastry on the tray.

"They're cheese puffs, like the buns but smaller and puffier." I stare at the baked confection and it stares at me. It has a twisted top with bits of cheese filling poking out. I place a finger on it and it's warm. I look up to Peeta and he's smiling that encouraging smile again. It's small enough to pop in my mouth and eat in one bite. I pick it up and put it in my mouth. I bite it and the cheese fills my mouth. I close my eyes and I see them. My dad is standing there handing me my first cheese bun. I must have been 5 because Prim is in the stroller kicking her feet. I have the same sensation I did just a few moments ago. I smile up at my dad.

"Daddy this is good," and my eyes open. Peeta is here staring at me and the tears just begin on their own. By the time Peeta clears the tray and is sitting on my bed by my side I'm sobbing. I let out incoherent words blaming myself for their death and I feel his arms enclose around me. He pulls me to his chest and runs his hands down my back in the effort to soothe me.

Peeta snakes his hand to my small braid and takes it out and runs his fingers through my hair. It's relaxing especially in my sensitive side of my scalp. He leans down near my ear and whispers 'you're okay' over and over. I feel his warm breath cascade over my ear and down neck. After a little while of crying into his embrace, I start to calm down. I feel the stubble of his jaw rub slowly against my face as he pushes himself away to look at me.

I see a pained look in his face as he smooths hair behind both my ears and then he softly wipes tears from my face. I stare down at his legs and see he's kicked off his shoes. I look back at him at the expression is the same.

He wants to tell me something but he can't. I continue to stare and I see a single tear leave his eye. I lift my hand to his face to wipe it and he holds my hand there and closes his eyes. Peeta turns his face and kisses my palm.

The feel of his lips on my skin shock me but I recover. I hold my gaze and so does he. I imagine he wants to tell me he cares about me but he's my teacher and can't cross that line. The way his other hand has steadied on my waist tells me he wanted to hold me longer. And the way he slowed down as he took his mouth away from whispering in my ear tells me he wanted to press it to my lips.

Soon after Peeta lays me down on my bed and crawls over me.

He heads toward the door and I whisper, "Stay with me," and he turns his head.

"I'm not leaving yet, just getting this chair." He picks up the chair in the corner of my room and sets it in front of my bed. While sitting he leans over and smooths my loosen locks again.

"Sleep," he says. "I'll stay here until you wake up."

I drift off almost instantly, my last view is of him staring down at me. When I wake his arms are folded and he's snoring quietly. I look at my clock and it's nearly 7. I'm surprised Johanna left him here so long. My desk lamp barely illuminates my room but I can see Peeta. His blonde curls are mused and his blonde eyelashes curled from sleep. His arms sit on his broad chest and rise and fall with his snoring. I was so warm wrapped in him and missed the feeling as soon as he pushed himself back. I guess I can admit to myself that I do care about him; more than as just a friend. We can't go there though because of our teacher student relationship.

He begins to stir a little while later and when he opens his eyes he looks for me.

"Hey sleepyhead," he says smiling. After a stretch he sits up straighter. "How do you feel?"

"A little better."

"That's great." He looks at the clock and back to me. "I'm sorry but it's getting late. I have to get going." He looks sad staring down at me. "Promise me you'll come to class on Monday? We really do miss you." I nod and with that he stands and puts the chair away. Before he walks out he turns to me and winks.

"I'll be checking in on you Katniss." I smile and he walks out basket in hand.


	11. Chapter 10

**Thanks for all the love!**

* * *

I returned to the intensive that Monday which also was the start of the last week. Rue hugs me tightly when I first sit down and Peeta can't seem to keep his eyes off of me the entire class.

"So class we'll continue working on our final project for the intensive. You can use whichever materials that are available. Remember it should be of a meaningful experience you had over the summer. School is starting again in only three weeks!"

There's a collection of groans at that statement but Rue seems excited.

"I can't wait to finally be in high school. My mom took me shopping last week and I already have my first two weeks of outfits planned." I look over to her smiling, and she returns a toothy grin.

I've started drawing two birds, a mockingbird and a bluejay. I saw them the Saturday morning after Peeta left, outside my window. I dreamt of him that night, holding me as I tangled my hands into his hair. He kept staring deep in my eyes and all I could do was inch myself closer to him until finally I felt his lips against mine.

Rue interrupts my train of thought asking about my drawing.

"Oh it's just some birds I saw outside my window. They reminded me of my two best friends who are dating now." That wasn't true; they represented Peeta and I. The mockingbird was gray and small while the bluejay was blue and bigger. They huddled on the bird feeder my father had placed out there when I was a girl. I watched them that morning and I immediately thought of him.

"They're coming out nicely," she complements.

"Thank you."

After my lunch break I head to physical therapy.

"Welcome back sweetheart," Haymitch says happily, well as happy as I've ever seen him. He takes me over to my station and begins immediately. I make it through a strenuous first day back in the gym but am tired when I reach Peeta's classroom.

"Hey," he greets walking over to me and he stands in front of me smiling. "I'm so glad you made it back in. I was getting worried." He continues to stare down at me and I realize I've moved closer to him; so close I can smell him. The lingering aroma of the cheese puffs are on him and paint mixed with cologne. It's intoxicating and his eyes are deliciously blue. His shoulders still so broad and I can imagine my head splayed on them with my hand tangled in those messy curls spilling over his head. I'm almost tempted to move the single thick one invading his forehead.

"Katniss?" He says. "Are you okay?" I'm snapped back into reality.

"Just a little tired," I stutter. "Tough physical therapy today I guess."

"Alright. So I'm guessing no talking today? I really missed that last week." I smile at him and tuck my hair behind my ear.

"I'm sorry."

"No it's okay. I was just teasing. But I did miss talking to you last week." Peeta backs up toward his desk and picks up my portfolio.

"Your birds are a unique choice. A mockingbird and a blue jay right?" I nod.

"What do you call it? Your piece?"

"Mockingjay."

Peeta walks me out to my bus and bids me goodbye and I watch him walk back into the Y. I ride the bus home continuing to think about him. What is it that has made me feel this way all of a sudden? I've always thought he was attractive but now it's just different. It had to be him coming over to take care of me a few days ago.

Johanna was surprised to see him but felt he was the last option so she let him in. She wanted every detail on what went on but when I told her, I left out the part of him consoling me. I'm still processing what happened and I don't need her jumping to conclusions.

The rest of the week continues and on Friday we have a party to celebrate the end of our summer intensive. Our final work is displayed in the classroom and we indulge on various faire from Peeta's bakery. I'm so stuffed I skip lunch and help Peeta clean up when the other students leave.

"You seem really limber lately. You're not using your cane as much."

"New medication," I say bringing over the empty bakery boxes to the garbage. "I still carry it though. I'll need it after PT."

Peeta nods and continues to sweep up around the desks.

"Were your birds us?" Peeta asks suddenly and I freeze in my steps. I turn around and the silence reddens both our cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I'm just over thinking..."

"It is. They're us." I interrupt him. "You were the meaningful experience I had over the summer. Getting to know you, learning from you in class and when you took care of me."

Peeta is speechless and walks closer to me. He raises his shaky hand and places a strand of loosened hair from my braid behind my ear.

"Katniss I..." he pauses staring at me. "I've enjoyed this summer getting to know you as well. It's just…" I maintain my stare and my heart drops a little. I know what he's going to say. I'm too young. He's my teacher. This can't happen.

"We can't," he tells me. I'm crushed but I understand and I back away from him, which earns a frown in return. I'm unable to make eye contact after that so I finish helping him clean up the classroom quietly. Finally after we're done, I leave him with a small awkward wave.

That night in bed I yell at myself in my head while I think about Peeta. Why did I allow myself to feel anything toward him? I feel stupid but I guess I should be grateful he let me down easy. Wait _did _he let me down? He said 'we can't,' as if he would if circumstances were different. I can't overthink this because it'll definitely drive me crazy. It's not like I'm the first one to have a crush on him anyhow. I bet many of my classmates did. A few of them bought him presents and I just rolled my eyes as they eagerly stepped up to his desk and handed him frilly boxes. Well at least I had the warmth of his arms, if only for a few minutes.

* * *

The two weeks in between the ending of the intensive and that of the beginning of school went by faster than I expected. I didn't have much to do besides PT since Gale and Johanna were at work. My mother had vacation during that time and surprised me by asking me to have breakfast with her one morning. She confessed she had trouble herself dealing with the anniversary of Dad and Prim's death but buried it in her work. My mother said she wanted to come see me that week I was bed bound but something held her back. I stayed silent and let her speak since I didn't expect her to hear me out anyway. She went on to apologize about my birthday and pushed a small box in front of me.

"It was from your father to me," she said. "It was our promise ring before we got married and he wanted you to have it when you turned 17."

I stared at the box for a while before my mother's uncomfortable stares led me to open it. It was a small pearl ring.

"He found the pearl on a date we had at the lake. It was a weird find since there are no oysters there. He felt it represented him and I; we were a weird find. We met by accident at a July 4th festival, that's why we always celebrated each year. Your father wanted to commemorate the day; him being there by accident and me with my family; we found one another. I'm so sorry Katniss."

My mother cried and I just sat there watching her. I've cried enough over her so I just let her have her moment. Afterward she looked up at me and I tried to give her a weak smile but I couldn't manage one. She shook her head and just touched my hand as she got up and went to her room. I didn't see her for the rest of the day.

* * *

Johanna took Rue and I last minute shopping for school the Sunday before. She seemed to get along great with Rue as well. Johanna only has step siblings and they don't get along at all. It was a relief my new friend fit in so well with my old one. Gale likes her well enough and it was an easy meeting with his family because Rory was already friends with her, and his other brother and little sister seemed to like her right away.

I find myself in front of a popular clothing store and Rue pulls me in.

"Katniss this would look so nice on you," she says holding up a shirt.

"I'm okay Rue. I only need a pair of shoes." I'm not really a fan of buying anymore clothes. I have an assortment of long sleeved shirts and sweaters as well as hoodies and long pants. Even though I'm feeling more confident because I'm feeling less pain and I'm using my cane less, the appearance of my body is still something I don't share with many outside of my close knit group of friends; Gale, Johanna, and recently Rue.

After shopping and both Johanna and Rue picking out several more pieces to their wardrobes, we find a place to sit at the food court. Johanna goes off with Rue to pick up our food while I settle at our table watching their shopping bags and purses. Out the corner of my eye I see someone walking toward me.

"Hey Katniss," the person calls out. It's Cato Matthews. I used to date him right before my accident and he was one of the "friends" that somehow disappeared when I came back to school.

"Hello," I reply evenly and he takes a seat.

"How was your summer?" He begins a small conversation asking about what I've been up to lately, and I reply with short answers. I'm not really interested in talking with him.

"Honestly Katniss, I just want to apologize." That's surprising.

"Why?" I ask looking at him with my eyebrows knitted.

"I wasn't a good friend to you when you came back to school after your accident. I just want to make it up to you." I look at him and I immediately don't believe him. I wasn't born yesterday. This must be some joke.

"Are you being serious? Because you're a bit late. It's been a year."

"I know. I'm a jerk but I believe I've grown over this summer. I volunteered at my mom's job and I have a new perspective on things." Cato's mother is a social worker at the same hospital my mother works at. That is how we met; a family picnic last summer.

"Please? Just let me take you to lunch. I really want to talk to you about a few things." Cato keeps staring at me biting on his lip so finally I agree. I guess I can believe he changed somewhat, heck even I think I've changed over this summer. I'll give him a chance, but only once.

"Alright."

"Great. I'll text you later." Cato gets up and walks away from the table just as Johanna and Rue come back.

"What was that asshole doing here?" Johanna asks as she sits down with our food. Rue's eyes widen and I let out a laugh.

"He just asked to take me to lunch."

"You better not," Johanna warns.

"I said I would. He apologized by the way."

"Yea but he was an asshole to you last year. I wouldn't trust him." Johanna continues

"It's just lunch," I reply.

"Are you sure?" Rue questions dipping a fry in ketchup. "I haven't dated many guys but I know jerks don't change overnight."

"I understand, but it's nothing serious. Besides I'll just tell him it'll have to be during school hours." Johanna laughs at this and we continue on having our lunch.

Johanna drops off Rue and we head back to my house to get ready for the first day of school the next day.

"You should be careful Katniss," she tells me as we settle into bed later.

"Don't worry Jo, I will." With that we both fall asleep.

The next morning we're up early to get ready. Johanna wears one of her new outfits, a short blue dress with black leggings underneath; while I settle on a pair of blue jeans and a long sleeve white t-shirt. My hair has been surprisingly growing since the new medications, and my braid is now reaches my shoulders. My arm is still a little sore from my monthly shot last Friday and my doctor also started me on birth control because new studies for the drug found that it can interfere with pregnancy. Even though I'm not doing anything, it's still recommended for women my age.

Gale drops us both off and then heads to his first class that he started a week ago. I carry my cane in my purse but I still have my books in my classroom. We were mailed our schedules last week and I have my homeroom with Ms. Trinkett again. I still have the same aide I had last year and she's happy to see my improvement as well as Ms. Trinkett.

I continue through my day going through the usual classes I need to complete my senior year; English and Math. Finally I get to one of the electives I've become more excited about since last semester. My guidance counselor at the encouragement of Mr. Cinna recommended I enroll in the Advanced Painting course offered this semester. I would take the first part now and then the second part my last semester. I have Mr. Cinna listed as my teacher but when I walk into my class that's not who I see.

"Hello Katniss, what a surprise," Peeta says as he stands by his desk.

"Hey," I reply a little shocked. "It says Mr. Cinna is the teacher, what happened?"

"I took over some of his classes." I stand there looking at him and it seems like he's talking to me as if we just didn't have an awkward moment two weeks ago. I go with it and continue speaking to him in the same manner.

"That's great," I smile and the corner of his mouth turns up into a crooked smile. I walk to the back of the class and take my usual seat.

The class continues to fill up and I can't help but to think about where I stand with Peeta. He's my teacher once again so we'll have to go through more awkward encounters where we talk and get distracted by one another's eyes or something else. I know he has feelings for me but I also know that it's impossible to go forward with them. I can still sit in the back of his class and fawn over him like the girls last year I used to scoff at. It's crazy what one amazing summer can do to a person.

Peeta goes over the syllabus for the class and when he starts discussing our first assignment, the bell rings. I gather my bag and get up from my seat when I see Cato looking into the classroom.

"Hey there you are. Are you ready for lunch?" I completely forgot I texted him to meet me at this class. I figured I get the lunch date out of the way so I can get back to my life.

"Coming," I tell him as I walk to the front of the classroom.

"Goodbye Katniss," I hear Peeta say and I turn around to wave and I see an expression on his face. I look at him for a few moments and I realize something. He almost looks…jealous.


	12. Chapter 11

"Katniss can I see you after class?" Peeta asks me as the class gathers their things. I wonder if something is wrong with my first project because honestly I don't know. I haven't had those same conversations with him like during the summer or even received the same compliments on my work. Peeta has been busy and with all the new surroundings and he's been acting weird.

For the last month I've had lunch dates with Cato a few times a week. He actually surprised me with how much he matured since last year. Most of our conversations are about the children he worked with over the summer and how his mother set him up for an internship during the school year. He wants to go into Sports Medicine and has already won a partial scholarship through the hospital because of his volunteering. The other interesting thing about him is that he's on the wrestling team with Peeta. He talks about him all the time and I can tell he's impressed by him.

"You wanted to see me Mr. Mellark?" I ask Peeta. It was weird as first addressing him this way but it became more comfortable when I stopped feeling like I was his actual friend. I admit I felt neglected at first with his behavior toward me but I let that go along with the possibility of us ever being together. It didn't help either when another new teacher, Ms. Undersee who teaches English, kept bringing him lunch and openly flirting with him.

"Yes Katniss." Peeta says after the classroom empties. "I wanted to talk with you. It's been a long time since we've had our usual time together."

"Oh. I didn't think you had the time. You're really busy with everything."

"I am but I can make some time for friends. That is if you have time," he says and just then I hear a knock the threshold of the door. It's Cato picking me up for lunch.

"Hey Mr. M," Cato says. I see a change in Peeta's expression right before he smiles and responds to him.

"Hello Cato. Ready for practice this afternoon?"

"Can't wait. Sorry to interrupt just picking up my girlfriend for lunch." I shoot him a look since I haven't answered his request for us to get back together. I'm still not sure if I even want to be with anyone, honestly.

"Oh really," Peeta replies awkwardly smiling at me. "Well I'll have your _girlfriend_ out in just a minute. Just discussing some class business." Cato nods and walks out the classroom and closes the door.

"So boyfriend huh," he asks smirking.

I'm not sure why he does this, but then again he did look jealous a couple of times seeing me with Cato. I don't answer him and he continues to talk.

"I was thinking next week Tuesday during lunch?"

"Sure."

"Alright I look forward to it. I've missed those chats with my old friend." There he goes again referring to me as his friend. I don't know what I am to him but I don't think we're friends. I think we're back to teacher and student.

I wave at Peeta as I leave and once again he's wearing his jealous face. I smile to myself as I meet Cato.

"All done?"

"Yes. By the way I'm not your girlfriend," I answer him quickly.

"You're not?" Cato says feigning hurt feelings. "I guess I'll just ask you again."

"I told you I'll let you know," I tell him and I see the smirk on his face. He must think I'm joking around but I'm serious. I'm just not ready yet. Cato shrugs and continues walking by my side. Today were going off campus to a local fast food place a lot if seniors frequent.

I sit in his car and buckle up and he goes around and gets in himself. As he drives I take out my phone and text Johanna so she knows where I am. It took her some time to get used to the idea of me seeing Cato again. She had lunch with us and after they had what I thought was a decent conversation, she gave him a chance.

"What do you want Katniss?" He asks when we pull up to the drive thru.

"My usual." He orders our food and then we park and begin to eat.

"So I wanted to ask you something," Cato says as he bites into his burger.

"Okay," I respond hoping he's not asking me to be his girlfriend again.

"The pep rally is next week after school. Would you like to go with me?"

"I thought the wrestling team was being featured along with the other fall sports. Are you allowed to be on the stands?"

"Yes, but right before our team is featured I'll have to go outside the gym to meet up with them, but that's still like a half hour in. Do you want to sit with me?" Cato seems really excited at the prospect of me sitting with him. I used to go to pep rallies, but not since I was a sophomore and I didn't start dating Cato until the Spring after all the pep rallies were over.

"Alright."

"Great. I also wanted you to wear my wrestling jacket too. Is that okay?"

"Like I'm your girlfriend?" I ask putting down my fry.

"Yes," he says with his eyebrows going up.

"Fine," I say and I laugh. He looks ridiculous now but I guess I can wear his jacket.

"So you're my girlfriend?" Cato asks excitedly.

"Cato…" I say.

"Alright, alright," he speaks blowing out a breath, and I laugh at his expression.

The day of the pep rally the school is adorned with its colors and all the fall athletes wear their prospective team jackets. Cato surprises me at my locker with a kiss on the cheek and Johanna laughs at my red face as I swat him on the shoulder. We haven't officially kissed this time around, mostly just pecks on the cheek and most definitely not in public.

"Are you having lunch with me today?" He asks smiling at me. I have to admit that he does have a nice smile and that was one of the reasons I started dating him the year before. He's also very tall and has tan skinned with blonde spikey hair and green eyes. Cato's not as broad as Peeta but he's taller. I still prefer Peeta's curly hair, but it's not like I'll have that wrapped around my fingers anytime soon.

"No it's a girl's only lunch and then tomorrow I'm working on something with Mr. Mellark. So Wednesday?" I didn't tell him I was having a lunch date with Peeta. I just made something up about school work so he wouldn't feel jealous. "We have the pep rally after school today though," I add in consolation.

"Alright. So I'll see you then." He squeezes my hand and then winks at me while he walks away.

"So you don't like kissing in public?" Johanna asks.

"Not really. It's just so private."

"Have you even kissed him yet?" I blush again and she smiles. "No rush. Take your time with him. If he's worth it he'll wait." I nod and I close my locker and head to homeroom.

In art class today Peeta gives me more attention on my project; more than usual. It makes me wonder if he's trying to make up for his awkwardness from before. By the end of class I'm more informed about the direction of my project than I have been the entire course, and it seems I'm not doing as bad as I thought. It seems I just needed encouragement and feedback from Peeta.

"Hey Katniss," Peeta asks me just before I walk out the classroom. "We're still on for tomorrow right?"

"Sure Mr. Mellark."

"Okay, well I'll see you then."

I head out the door and meet Johanna at the cafeteria. I confide in her Peeta's recent behavior change and she just tells me not to look too much into it. He's most likely adjusting to a full time schedule with students who have to learn and not just have fun like during the summer. When I told her about the last month and how he behaved she reassured me that I shouldn't worry.

Johanna and I sit at our usual table and she begins to tell me about the theory part of her Nursing Assistant course. Next semester she'll be out of school for half the day doing her internship so I won't see her until we go home that night; that's if she doesn't have work. If she does, I won't see her until bedtime. She asks me some more questions about Cato and once again tells me to be safe with him and not let my emotions carry me away. I assure her that I won't and that I've learned a lot about patience since dealing with my injuries following the accident. We finish our lunch and part ways as we go to our next class.

After my last class I bid Johanna goodbye; she has to work afterschool today and Gale is picking her up. She's not really interested in these types of things anyway, so it's not really a loss on her part. I walk into the gymnasium and I see Cato with a bunch of his wrestling buddies all standing around Peeta. He's wearing his coach's uniform and I can't help but look at how well his wrestling jacket fits him. I snap my thoughts from him and focus on Cato who is walking toward me.

"Hey Katniss," he says and leans down to kiss me on the cheek. I blush a little and he just runs a hand down my arm. "Want my jacket?" He says smiling and I take it and wrap it around my shoulders. It's quite big and heavy; it being leather, but incredibly warm.

We take a seat on the stands and Cato snakes an arm around my shoulders. I notice that Peeta keeps glancing up at us and I don't think it's because he's looking for his wrestlers. I shake my head and continue to watch the flag girls do their routine. Later I see Peeta point at the various wrestlers and the direction for them to go to meet up. Cato takes his jacket and once again kisses me on the cheek. I blush for the second time as he walks down and gathers with the others.

Peeta looks up at me and smirks and then walks out with the team. What is his problem, really?

The wrestling team runs out onto the gym floor soon after, and the crowd screams for them. I clap my hands and then Peeta takes the microphone. He introduces himself as the newest wrestling coach as well as a former championship winning wrestler alumni. Peeta is so charismatic when he speaks and I think he's convinced us all to show our support at their first meet happening in two weeks.

After the pep rally is over, Cato meets me at the front of the school and offers to take me home. I didn't want to call Gale to come get me because I know he's studying so I appreciated the offer.

"So how did you like it?" Cato asks as he drives away from the school.

"It was exciting. I forgot how fun those things were."

"Well get use to all the screaming because once you start coming to our wrestling meets it won't end. With Mr. Mellark coaching I know we'll beat all our old records and make new ones. He and his brothers were legends. Adam Cartwright broke Peeta's record last season but his older brothers' records are still up there. I'm really excited."

"I can tell," I reply smiling to myself.

Cato arrives at my house and offers to walk me to my door. I've been feeling good since being on my new medication but some days I still have some achiness. I'm okay today but Cato has already experienced me being in pain and he's been patient with me. He's even offered to help me do the physical therapy exercises I'm given to do at home, but I'm not quite comfortable him being in my house working out. We'll have to build up to that.

"Well I had a great time Katniss."

"Me too."

"Have a good night," Cato says and he closes the space between us placing his hand on my arm. I stand still while he slowly lowers his head down to mine. Oh God, I think he's going to kiss me. I decide at the last second I'll allow it and Cato proceeds and kisses me on the lips. I'll be honest; it wasn't great. I remember enjoying his kisses a lot more back then but what did I know being 15 years old. I smile up at him when he pulls away and he returns it. He backs up slowly and waves as he heads to his car. I'm still wearing his jacket after he gave it back to me in the car. I watch him until he drives off and then I walk into the house.

It's deserted when I walk in, and I assume Gale is at his house, and both my mother and Johanna are at work. I shower and change into my night clothes and then spread my homework across my bed to begin. By the time I've completed my English and Math homework, I hear Johanna coming in the house and Gale driving off.

"Hey, how was the pep rally?" She asks as she walks in to my room and kicking off her shoes.

"Fun I guess."

"Did Cato behave?" Johanna questions as she continues to undress.

"Mostly. He gave me his wrestling jacket and he kissed me when he dropped me off."

"Oh really? How was it."

"Gross," and we both break out in a fit of laughs. "I guess I still have this version of him in my mind from when we were 15. His lips were dry and thank God he didn't try to stick his tongue in my mouth." Johanna continues to laugh as she heads into the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. She's in and out in less than 10 minutes and she plops on the bed next to me to finish up her homework.

The next day I have butterflies in my stomach all day thinking about my lunch with Peeta. I can't get the images of the smirks and looks he gave me yesterday when I was with Cato. I've never seen him react so much over one person. Even when Ms. Undersee is clearly leaning over his desk so he can see her cleavage he's not as flustered as he looked when Cato kissed me on the cheek.

I can barely concentrate on my painting as I keep catching Peeta staring and smiling at me throughout class. Toward the end, one of the teacher's aide's brings in a brown paper bag filled with what I think is our lunch. I can smell the lamb stew from my desk.

"Alright class time to clean up and good job so far." The class cleans up their brushes and arranges their paintings on the easels in the back of the classroom. I take my time knowing I'll be staying and when everyone has left I bring my bag up front. Peeta prepares the classroom in its usual manner when he has his lunch here; he locks the door and pulls the shade.

"Ready?" He asks as he pushes a desk next to his.

"As I'll ever be," I whisper to myself.

Peeta arranges the many Tupperware bowls on his desk and pulls out two ceramic bowls with spoons.

"I thought I'd bring you the lamb stew again. We were making batches at my parent's house last night trying to perfect the recipe for the restaurant."

"How is that coming along? The construction that is?" I ask him as he scoops rice into our bowls.

"It's going well. I help out on Sundays since I have practice with the guys on Saturdays. Everything is pretty much built, we just have to wait on inspectors from different city agencies so we can get the go ahead to open."

"That sounds great."

"I'm really happy for my family. My mother always wanted a restaurant but marrying into a baker's family, she had to wait a bit for her dreams to be realized. They'll probably work there for 5-10 years and then I'll share ownership with Mason and his wife." I smile and nod as he talks but immediately dig into my stew once he sets it in front of me.

"So Katniss, what have you been up to?" I chew my mouthful of stew and then I answer him.

"The same I guess except I'm spending time with Cato during lunch. Gale started college and works full time so he's pretty busy. Johanna is still working and since I've been more independent with my new medication, she's able to work more so I only see her right before we go to bed. I haven't seen Rue much either since her and Gale's brother Rory have been talking."

"Everyone seems busy. Well I'm relieved you're feeling better health wise and that your new medication is helping you accomplish that." I look at him waiting for him to complete the sentence and say something about Cato but he never does.

"You know Cato talks about you a lot. He says he admires you and your brothers. You guys are legends to him."

"That's nice of him to say," Peeta responds flatly and goes back to eating his stew.

"Alright Mr. Mellark, what's going on?" Peeta sets down his fork and wipes his hands on his napkin.

"First, you can call me Peeta when it's just us, and second, nothing is going on."

"_Peeta_," I say, "Something is going on. Ever since I've been seeing Cato you've been acting weird. What's up?"

"If you must know, I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

Peeta sighs, "Because I know Cato and his two brothers. They're all assholes, excuse my French. I wrestled with them and now I'm coaching their little brother. His brothers were really terrible to the girls who liked them and the one's they chose to date, and I don't want the same thing happening to you."

"He's a nice guy Peeta. He's not like his brothers."

"I don't trust him, especially not around you. You're different Katniss." I give Peeta a look because I don't want him to start giving me some bullshit a guidance counselor or a therapist would tell you to make you feel better about yourself.

"You're a sweet girl who is so talented the world would burst if they saw it. I don't want him to crush your spirit by being out of line with you."

"I'm fine Peeta. I can take care of myself."

"Are you sure? Just promise me you'll be safe." Peeta's eyes are rounded and blue staring at me. I don't know why he's so concern Cato is going to hurt me. Peeta hurt me this summer when he let me down, but of course it wasn't intentionally or mean spirited.

"Peeta I'll be safe, just don't talk to me like I'm a kid or something. It's annoying. I've been through hell and back this past year and I survived. I think I can deal with Cato."

"Okay." Peeta nods and pushes back his empty bowl.

"Ready for dessert?" Peeta puts on a smile as he offers me a cheese puff but I know he's still worried about me. I wonder what he's so worked up about.


	13. Chapter 12

It's finally the Home Coming Dance and I'm going with Cato. This is my first one and I'm excited. Cato and I have been seeing one another for nearly two months and I only 2 weeks ago agreed to be his girlfriend. I like him and we've been having a good time together on our dates so that led to my decision. Gale met him and has given his approval even though he still asks him questions whenever he sees him. I haven't allowed him in my house past the front door, and I haven't gone past the living room in his. We kiss more but I still prefer it in our own privacy. I'm taking our relationship slowly because I'm still recovering from everything. I still am in physical therapy and I see Dr. Aurelius once a week on Saturday mornings.

Johanna isn't going tonight because she made plans with Gale; however Rue and Rory are going so Gale will drop them off while Cato will pick me up. Johanna helped me pick out a dress and had a special shawl made to cover my arms. I'm still very self-conscious and only allowed Cato to see my scars once. He seemed unaffected and just lightly ran his hand down my arm but I'm still not completely comfortable being exposed.

"You look perfect," Johanna tells me as she applies the last of my makeup. I walk closer to my full length mirror and look at myself. The dress is long and black fitting to my body. The shawl is white and covered with crystals in its netting. My hair is in an up do of braids accented with tiny crystals. My shoes are simple black pumps that are obscured by the hem of my dress. The theme for homecoming this year was black and white, and the athletes are expected to wear suits and/or gowns. Being the date of one I'm expected to dress up as well. Everyone else usually wears something a little more toned down. You feel like royalty though walking in wearing a suit or gown.

"Okay let's take pictures," Johanna says and I walk into the living room and stand by the fireplace. She starts snapping pictures and then the doorbell rings.

"Must be Cato," I say and Johanna takes the last picture before opening the door and letting him in. He walks in and he's wearing a black suit with a white shirt and black tie completed with shiny black dress shoes. His hair isn't spiked but just cut shorter.

"Hi Johanna." Cato waves awkwardly to her and she smiles back at him.

"I have a corsage for you," he says to me and he opens the small box and takes out the white flower and wraps it around my wrist. "You look beautiful." And he leans down to kiss my cheek.

After Johanna captures a few pictures of us together Cato and I go to his car. Once we're in he leans overs and kisses me on the lips.

"We're going to have a good time tonight," he says and then he starts the car and drives off.

When we arrive, there are several couples being dropped off as well as parking in the student's parking lot. Cato runs into some of his buddies and their dates so we stop to take pictures. It's weird being surrounded by people I don't know who are also popular at school. I wouldn't consider myself popular especially after the accident but I think with me dating Cato again things might change. I don't know why this matters to me all of a sudden but I guess gaining my independence back while on my new medication has changed my outlook on life at school.

Cato and I walk into the gymnasium which is decorated with black and white streamers and balloons. There are tables of punch and food as well as chairs in a corner to sit. In the middle is the dance floor with swirling lights coming from the DJ in the corner. I see the group of teachers who are the chaperones and I spot Peeta right away. He's in a tailored black suit with a white shirt and black bow tie. His hair is slicked back hiding his wonderful golden curls and black shiny dress shoes are on his feet. Peeta waves at students as they pass him and he looks around the gym making sure everything is going well. I know the moment he spots Cato and I because he smiles at me with a wide grin and then shortens it when he sees Cato. I wave at him and he walks toward us.

"Hey guys, you two are a great looking couple."

"Thank you," we both say and I blush as Peeta makes eye contact with me again and grins more widely.

"Well, have fun tonight," he says and walks away to another couple.

The night carries on with a variety of songs and I find myself sitting through most of them; these heels are a killer. I spotted Rory and Rue earlier and took pictures with them. Rue was in a long white gown with small white flowers in her hair, and Rory in a black suit. Rue is on the track team so she had the privilege of dressing up.

"Katniss do you want a drink?" Cato offers holding two red solo cups. I take one and begin to drink.

"Yuck! What's in this?"

"Shh. Nothing. It's just a bit spiked."

"Cato I can't drink this. It'll interfere with my medication, you know that."

"Oh right sorry. Just getting ready for tonight a little early." Cato invited me to an after party with the wrestling team at a local hotel but I doubt I'll go. I know what goes on at those parties and that is not happening with us tonight.

"Aren't you driving?"

"I'll be okay. One of the guys has a van so well just go with him. He's not partaking."

"Alright," I tell him and I watch him finish his drink. Afterward he asks me to dance. You couldn't tell he had something to drink because he's behaving normally, but when you get close enough you can smell the faint smell of alcohol on his breath.

Later on after dancing for a bit, Cato asks me outside the gym to get some fresh air. I agree since I am feeling hot and follow him toward the door. We walk past the restrooms and wind up near the trophy cases.

"Look it's the Mellark brothers' records." He points through the glass case.

"Cool," I respond and Cato continues to walk until we're near lockers. He stops and looks down at me.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Okay," I tell him after I look around. Cato leans down and slowly captures my lips. Since no one is around I kiss him longer than usual but when I feel his hands roaming I stop.

"What are you doing?"

"Don't be a prude I'm just touching you."

"I'm not a prude and I don't want you feeling me up."

"You're my girlfriend and it's been two months. What's the big deal?"

"I'm not ready for that yet."

"Are you serious? I would have gotten a blow job by now from any other girl. What makes you so special." I'm shocked by his words and I distance myself from him.

"Awesome for those girls but I'm not that easy."

"Oh really? So I guess I have to work a little harder; warm you up?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. I was just trying to get you ready for the big finale tonight," He says and tries to kiss me again.

"I said stop Cato. What are you talking about the big finale?"

"Tonight at the party. We're going to a hotel and I booked us a separate room."

"What? Did you think something was going to happen between us tonight?"

"Sure why not; it's homecoming. It's the prom of the fall so anything goes."

"You're insane," I tell him and back away further.

"You know you owe me this."

"What? Are you drunk or high or both?"

"No. It's the truth. Do you know the status symbol I am? I'm on the wrestling team and we're most likely going to be champions this year. Do you know what that will do to your popularity if you're seen with me?"

"I don't care about that. I liked you for who you are but now I'm starting to change my mind. You're acting like a real jerk. You act like you're some God's gift to women but you're not." I look him straight in the eye and that seems to fluster him.

"Do you think a guy like me would ever date a girl like you? If you weren't one of the last semi attractive virgins left in our school I wouldn't have bothered."

I'm stunned and I feel tears pricking my eyes.

"Forget that. You're not a jerk, you're an asshole!"

"No you're an ungrateful bitch with reptile skin. All the time I put into you and you won't even let me touch your boob? You're so not worth the bet."

"What bet?" I yell at him.

"Don't worry about it. I don't care anymore." Just as he finishes his sentence I hear a voice behind us.

"Guys the party is inside. You can't be out here." It's Peeta.

"Sorry Mr. M," Cato says trying to recover. "Just a lover's quarrel." He leans down to me and says quietly, "Come on."

"Get the fuck away from me," I say through gritted teeth and just loud enough for Peeta to hear me. I've wrapped my arms around my middle and I'm beginning to shake I'm so angry. What just happened? How did Cato just turn into the biggest asshole on the planet in a matter of seconds?

"Fine. See you back inside," and he brushes past me. By the time Peeta reaches me the tears are rolling down my face but he can't see because I'm facing away from him. I hear his shoes stop right behind me and he says, "Katniss are you alright?"

I'm quiet for a few moments until I can't hold the sobs in any longer.

"No," I cry and Peeta rushes around to face me.

"Oh my God what did he do?"

I'm wiping my face frantically and sobbing so hard I'm bending over. How could I be so stupid? Cato was nice, but too nice to me. He did everything by the book. I should have known it was too good to be true.

Peeta is speaking into a Walkie Talkie and then he places a hand on my arm.

"I'm going to take you to the bathroom to wash your face and then outside for some air. Is that okay?" I nod and he leads me to the female teacher's lounge and unlocks it so I can go in. I don't take in my surroundings and just rush to the sink. I'm heaving so bad I nearly fall over but I manage to wash my face and dry it. I've stopped crying but when I come out 15 minutes later, I'm still shaking. Peeta leads me out a side door and as soon as the door shuts he wraps his arms around me.

"What did he do?" He asks. "Did he hurt you? Touch you inappropriately?"

"Yes and no." I choke out.

"I'm so sorry." He says. "I tried to warn you. We need to go inside and report him." For whatever reason I feel so angry I lash out at Peeta. I push back from him and I look up at him.

"Tried to warn me? Was that vague I'm worried about you and his brothers are assholes a warning?" I know I sound irrational but I'm just so angry right now. Peeta puts up his hands up in mock surrender and shakes his head. "Did you know? About the bet?" I yell wiping the tears that have now sprung up again.

"What bet?"

"They bet Cato couldn't get my virginity," I yell out crying hysterically again.

"I've never heard the guys talking like that but in practice it's different. I'm not around them in the halls. I'm sorry Katniss. Is that what he was trying to do?" Peeta tries again to embrace me and I step back with my hands up.

"Have you ever done that? Dated a girl on a bet just to fuck her and take her virginity?"

"Katniss!" He says shocked. "I was never like that. Cato and his brothers are just jerks.

They're terrible human beings. I didn't know he was intending to do that. If I did I would have stepped in a long time ago."

I'm shaking again and when Peeta approaches me slowly once again I put up my hands.

"Just stop it Peeta. You don't want me like that so stop with the gestures." I regret everything that is coming out of my mouth to Peeta, but I'm just so hurt. I know he's just trying to comfort me but right now I hate all men, specifically wrestlers.

"What do you want then?" he asks finally with his arms dropping to his sides and his mouth turning into a frown.

"I just want to go home. Call Johanna so I can go home." Peeta takes my phone from my outstretched hand and dials the number. I lean against the building as he speaks to her. A little while later he hangs up and hands me the phone.

"Let's walk to the front, she'll be here with Gale in a few minutes." I take the slow walk with Peeta and I start to feel aching in my joints. I suspect I'll have an episode tonight because even with my new medication, emotional stress will still cause a flair of pain.

"Do you need help?" Peeta asks as he witnesses me wobble a few times.

"No, It's the just the shoes," I lie. I don't want any help right now. When I nearly trip Peeta stops and places his hand on the small of my back.

"I'm going to help you. I know you're mad right now, but I can't just stand by and let you walk like that." I sigh and let him help me but I scowl the entire time. I start to feel my phone vibrating in my purse and I stop to look at it and it's a message from Cato. I ignore it and keep walking. When we're at the front of the school I just stand there with Peeta and he doesn't stop holding me up or looking at me. His blue eyes are shimmering but his face expressionless.

When Gale and Johanna arrive, Johanna bolts out the car to come to meet us half way.

"Oh my God what happened?" Johanna nearly shouts as she looks at me. My face must still be red and puffy because her eyes go wide when she sees my face.

"I just want to go home," I mutter and she helps me to the car. Gale jumps out to make sure I get in properly and his face looks just as grave as Johanna's. I pile in the back with her and lean on her shoulder and I start crying again. I see Gale talk to Peeta outside of the car and I just close my eyes and continue crying.

When we finally arrive home Johanna helps me undress and then into the shower. I'm feeling a full fledge pain episode but all I have is an OTC pain reliever. I take the medication while the hot shower streams over my body. Johanna stays with me even though I know she's uncomfortable with all the water. I sob the entire time I'm in the shower and even when she finally tucks me into the bed. I ask Gale to stay and they arrange themselves around me, effectively shielding me from either side of the bed.

"I love you guys," I say crying and they both kiss my face.

Later on in the middle of the night, I find myself lying on Gale's chest while Johanna is wrapped around my body spooning me. They're snoring quietly and I can't seem to close my eyes. I'm so exhausted but I'm in so much pain.

My whimpering must have woken them up but all I can remember is Gale carrying me to the car and them rushing me to the emergency room sometime later on after I woke up. I get a shot of medication and something for the fever I've developed overnight. I'm resting comfortably by early morning and I see my two best friends sitting in the one chair they provide in the ER for family members. I want to cry but I'm in such a euphoria from the pain meds all I can do is slightly smile at how they are bunched up in the chair.

I miss my appointment with Dr. Aurelius but he leaves me a message on my phone arranging for a meeting during the week at school. When I'm finally discharged home I sleep the entire Saturday away. I notice Gale and Johanna going in and out of my room and by Sunday morning Gale is back to work. I watch Johanna getting ready to head in for her shift when I hear her phone ring. She takes the call in the bathroom, which is odd because she's never done that before, and then comes back in the room.

"Are you up for a visitor?" She asks.

"It's not Cato right?" I croak out. She shakes her head and then I agree. I feel better today than yesterday so I guess I could entertain a guest. To my surprise it's not something I'm expecting at all. It's Peeta. He walks in my room with a box of cheese puffs and sets them on my night stand.

"Hi," he begins and then tells Johanna he's left some things for her as well on the kitchen table. Johanna excuses herself and walks out of my room closing the door.

"What are you doing here?" I ask evenly.

"Checking on my friend. I heard someone was being an asshole to her the other day."

"Cato's the biggest asshole on the planet."

"Granted but I wasn't talking about him."

"Who then?"

"Me," he states and then pauses to gauge my reaction, which doesn't change. "I just came over to apologize. I shouldn't have butted in your life and made you feel like a kid. I just got a really bad vibe from Cato and I knew nothing good was going to come of him being with you."

"You were jealous," I smirk folding my arms.

"Sure. Jealous that he was taking your time away and I couldn't see you like before." Peeta sits on my bed and places his hand on my arm.

"I'm really sorry he hurt you. He was out of line and I made him pay for it."

"What?" I respond a little too loudly and uncrossing my arms. "You didn't tell him I complained about him did you?"

"No, no of course not. I just made him work really hard yesterday in practice. I still think you should talk to someone at school though. I'll come with you if you need me there, really."

"It's fine. I'll give him a piece of my mind tomorrow."

"Katniss seriously. This isn't coming from a teacher, but a friend. If he was inappropriate with you, you have the right to tell someone. He's not allowed to talk to like that and then try to pressure you into something you're not ready for. It's just not cool." I nod my head and the thought of the things Cato said to me brings tears to my eyes. He was so cruel talking about me and then he insulted my scars. Did he really expect me to just let him do whatever he wanted to me just because he was a popular guy? I start shaking again and I feel Peeta place his hand on mine and run circles on my hand. I feel the bed shift and he reaches for a paper towel on my night table and hands it to me.

"Peeta can you hold me?" Suddenly I feel so vulnerable asking him to do that but before it made me feel better.

"Katniss, I don't know if that's such a good idea. I'm your teacher now and that's not really appropriate."

"Please," I beg him sounding so unlike myself. I hate feeling this way but it's just all too much. When I finally felt like I was doing better on my medication and learning to cope with my life through therapy, this shit falls on me. I'm shaking harder and I hear Peeta let out a sigh before kicking off his shoes and crawling onto my bed. He arranges himself against my headboard and wraps his arms around me. I fall into his chest and eventually bring my legs up so they are leaning against his thighs. Peeta leans into the crook of my neck as he runs one hand down my arm and the other supports my back. I'm wearing a long sleeved shirt but the friction from his movements make my sensitive skin tingle.

After a little while my shaking subsides and all I can feel is Peeta's warm breath on my neck. I feel so cozy that I let out a sigh when his hand on my back starts to move.

"Katniss," he whispers. "I can't stay much longer. I have to go to the restaurant." The grand opening of the restaurant is on Halloween and they're throwing a party to celebrate. He invited the entire school.

"Not yet, please." I tell him and he continues his ministrations on my arm and back. It feels so impossibly good to be wrapped up in him; the feeling of his warmth and strength overwhelms me. I'm breathing him in and Peeta Mellark is intoxicating as usual. When I start to feel his hold on me loosen I whine in protest. I open my eyes to look up at him and his eye brows are furrowed.

"I'm sorry Katniss, but I have to go." I nod my head finally and he lets go of me all the way. I sit up in bed and watch him put his shoes back on.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you," I tell him. "I know you're not like the other guys. I was just so upset. I really regret it."

"It's alright," he chuckles. "I know you were hurting and you needed to vent. I know you care about me and I care about you too." He smiles as he walks back over to me. Peeta smooths my hair one last time and then leans down and without warning he kisses my forehead gently. I freeze in that moment and the peck on my forehead feels like it lasts forever but when I hear him speak again I open my eyes to him.

"Just be careful and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow in class?" I smile and nod, almost mechanically, still reeling from the after effects of this contact. "Oh don't forget to eat these," he says pointing at the box. "I made them fresh for you as always." I continue to nod and smile at him while watching him walk out of my room. I still can feel the warm spot on my forehead when I finally admit to myself, Peeta Mellark just kissed me didn't he?


	14. Chapter 13

"So tell me what happened," Dr. Aurelius asks. I'm sitting in an empty office with him, my guidance counselor Ms. Portia Everett, and Peeta. It's been a few days since the incident and Cato has been sending me messages trying to get me to forgive him. He said he was drunk and didn't know what he was saying. He assured me the bet didn't exist and of course begged me not to tell on him. Peeta has been integral in helping me get to the point of talking to both my therapist and guidance counselor, but I can't help but continue to feel embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for how I let my guard down for Cato and how I once again dumped my emotional problems on Peeta. He doesn't seem to mind and has been asking me how I feel every time I'm in his art class. Finally after much convincing from him, I called Dr. Aurelius and he set up a meeting today.

I continue on and tell them the story and they try not to let their emotions show. Peeta closes his eyes a few times while both Dr. Aurelius and Ms. Everett take notes.

"I recommend you put in a formal complaint. He had no right to say those things to you or behave that way. What do you recommend?" He asks Ms. Everett.

"The same. I have the form right here if you want to begin."

I nod my head and then she begins. I sit there quietly while she starts the form.

"I'll need you to read over this and then sign."

"Will he get into trouble?" I ask, the pen shaking in my hand.

"Well there will be an investigation and then we'll go from there. We'll still need a testimony from you Mr. Mellark." Peeta nods at her, and begins to speak. He tells of when he approached us and what he heard Cato say. He only caught the tail end of Cato leaning down to ask me something. He didn't actually hear what he said to me, but that he spoke to Peeta about us having some sort of 'lover's quarrel'. My reaction to the situation was all he could speak on.

Peeta signs his testimony of the event and leaves the room to get back to his class.

"We'll need to speak to your mother about this. Is that okay?" Dr. Aurelius asks.

"Our relationship is still strained so she wasn't aware I was even dating," I tell them both.

"It's alright. I'll call her this afternoon. Feel well Katniss." Dr. Aurelius shakes my hand and leaves the room. I'm left with Ms. Everett and I continue to look over the form.

"Don't be nervous about this Katniss. You're not doing anything wrong." I nod my head and after going over it a few more times I sign it. I excuse myself from the office right after, and head to my locker. They've allowed me to leave early due to the circumstances, so I text Gale and Johanna to tell them. Gale is available now so he'll pick me up and Johanna agreed to meet me at my locker to see me home.

"Hello Katniss." I turn around from my locker and I see Cato standing there.

"Get away from me. You're not supposed to be here."

"Katniss I'm sorry. _Really_ sorry. I didn't mean those things I said. I really do like you and would never want to do anything to hurt you."

"Leave me alone Cato!" I yell at him. There are few students in the hall and some turn in our direction.

"I just want to talk."

"There's no more time for that. Just leave!" Cato looks scared as I gesture wildly for him to leave and as he does he turns to me one last time to mouth, 'I'm sorry'.

Johanna shows up minutes later and I'm leaning on my locker holding my bag.

"Hey, how did it go?" She asks as she approaches me. I tell her about the meeting and she agrees I did the right thing reporting Cato. When I first told her and Gale the entire story they were upset. Johanna hugged me tightly thanking God Cato didn't force me to do anything while Gale punched a wall. I had to convince him heavily not to go to Cato's house and hurt him. He told me the night he spoke to Peeta, all he told him was that Cato said something inappropriate. I hadn't told Peeta the details until the meeting today. I felt ashamed it had even gotten that far.

A short while later, Johanna walks with me outside the school and we stand there waiting for Gale. She says nothing but places a hand on my shoulder giving me a sympathetic smile. I walk over to Gale's car when he finally arrives, and get in. Johanna walks over to his side of the car and leans in through the window to kiss him. I focus on my side mirror and I can hear the sound of their kiss and Johanna whispering something to him that elicits a light chuckle.

"See you later Katniss," she says and I wave and give her a half smile.

"Ready to go home Catnip?"

"Ready."

The entire ride home I think about how alone I feel all a sudden. I'm coming out of a break up and it ended disastrously. Will I ever find someone who cares about me and not just the part of me that still is desirable?

I head to my room to rest while Gale makes himself lunch before he goes to his house. Johanna works tonight so she'll go there right after school.

Soon Gale comes into my room with two sandwiches and hands me one while he sits on my bed.

"I thought you'd be hungry," he says.

"Thanks, I am."

We sit in silence eating our sandwiches but I find myself examining my plate more than anything else. It feels like clumps of sand going down so I abandon it half way through the first half. Gale's phone buzzes and I suspect it Johanna since it's around her lunch time at school.

"Peeta is asking about you. He wants to come over."

"You have his number?"

"Yea. We exchanged numbers that night because he wanted me to contact him if anything happened. Didn't think it would look right to give it to you directly."

"Oh." I'm stunned that Peeta cared that much to exchange numbers with Gale so he could check up on me.

"So what do I tell him?"

I shrug.

"Can he come over?"

"No."

Gale types back to Peeta.

"I told him you were sleeping."

"Thanks."

A few moments go by before Gale speaks again.

"Do you like him?"

I blush furiously.

"No."

"He spent a lot of time in here with you. Are you sure?"

"Nothing happened."

Gale holds up his hands. "I'm not judging. I trust him around you and most of all I trust you. I mean Cato was a fucking mistake, but we all make them." I cringe at the mention of Cato's name.

"I'm sorry I dragged you guys into that. I'm sorry I've been sleeping between you two and possibly infringing on your alone time." I look down at my sandwich and pick at the crust.

"It's alright. We're here for you, you know that," Gale says turning around to face me. "And don't worry you're not infringing on anything. We have our time." Gale blushes as he says this and I laugh.

"So he's been asking about me?" I ask not a moment later.

"Yea, like crazy. It's been so many texts I had to delete a few and it's only been like three days."

I look away from him and let myself smile. What does this all mean? I know I have feelings for Peeta but it's impossible because he's my teacher now.

"So you like him then?" Gale prods.

"I guess but it's not like anything can happen."

"Don't worry about the details. If he's worth it he'll wait for you. It's only like 7 months until school is over and 8 months until you're 18."

"Have you been calculating for him or something?" I let out a laugh.

"No but something tells me the more I get to know Peeta, the more likely of a chance I'll be having the same conversation with him."

I leave the conversation at that and continue to sit with Gale. He winds up finishing my sandwich before he leaves to go home. I continue to lie in bed until some time in the late afternoon I fall asleep. I wake up again when I feel Johanna getting into bed with me.

"Hey Johanna," I say groggily.

"Hey Katniss." She smooths my hair back and smiles at me. "Feeling better?" I nod and I continue looking at her.

"I'm sorry," I tell her slightly frowning.

"Why?"

"For everything about Cato. I should have listened to your warnings."

"No Katniss. Don't say that. We all make mistakes. I think you just wanted him to be decent. I admit I wanted it to. You deserved some happiness after all of what's happened. It's okay, really." I lean into Johanna and hug her before backing up and lying on my pillow.

"So I heard Peeta has been asking about you," she says in a suggestive voice.

"_Johanna_," I laugh.

"I told you he's cute and older."

"I know but it'll never work. Besides Ms. Undersee trying to get his attention all the time, I think he just wants to be friends."

"You think so?"

"I don't know honestly. It's all confusing. I'm not good at these things; reading signs and stuff. I do like him though." My cheeks warm at this revelation.

"I know." Johanna says. "You talk a lot in your sleep," and with that she laughs hard and my face feels even hotter.

I make my way back into school the next day and thankfully I don't see Cato at all or for the rest of the week. I manage to start feeling like myself again by Monday but when Ms. Everett calls me into guidance by noon, I know something might change that.

"Good afternoon Katniss. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I think I'm getting back into my old routine."

"Good. Well I have some information on the complaint you made regarding Cato Matthew's behavior. It looks like he's denied everything you said and we don't have any other evidence to go by. While Mr. Mellark's testimony was compelling, he only spoke on what he observed you doing after the incident. Unfortunately we aren't able to do much for that situation except suspend him for a week from school. That was the harshest punishment we could give him and it won't go on the record the extent of how inappropriate he was with you because we can't prove it. I'm sorry dear." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks and I just sit there stunned.

"I did put in a request that he can't come in contact with you at school and you two won't be in any of one another's classes next semester. This semester you don't share any so we didn't have to move him. I'm really sorry again for all of this. This is why it's so hard to get students to make these sorts of complaints in the first place, because they are difficult to prove. If something physical had happened we would have that evidence, but he only said things to you. Since you were crying afterward we were able to do something about that but still very minimal in my opinion. I wanted to at least get him kicked off the wrestling team but it just didn't work that way." After a moment I thank her for her help and leave her office.

It's nearly time for lunch when I get to my locker so I don't make the attempt to go to my art class. I feel defeated as I stand there trying to get my lunch bag out of my locker. I'm not even hungry and the last thing I want to do is be around a bunch of people in the cafeteria. How could he get off with just a week suspension? He said so many hurtful words to me and I can even get justice for that. I text Johanna the result of what happened and she comes to my locker right after her class lets out.

"I'm so sorry sweetie," she says and pulls me into a hug. I start crying and she rubs my back.

"I need to go outside," I tell her and we gather my things and proceed to the nearest exit.

There's a patch of tables outside the students can eat on when it's decent weather. Since it is October the weather is still okay so we take a seat. Johanna begins her lunch and I just stare at my lunch bag.

"I can't believe this. I just feel so crappy."

"I know. I wish I could sick Gale on him but I know that won't do any good."

"Gale would love to kick his ass. I should have let him that day instead of convincing him otherwise."

"Don't beat yourself up Katniss. He'll get his just desserts, don't worry about that."

The rest of the school day I drift through class and by the time I get home I have a box of bakery goods waiting for me. My mother is home today and she said it was delivered around late afternoon just before I got home. I read the delivery card and it says a simple, 'I'm sorry.' Peeta has sent me cheese buns this time and between shedding a few tears I have one. My mother stares at me as I sit at the kitchen table forcing one down and eventually joins me. I see her from time to time when I leave my room but we haven't spoken since the summer.

"Dr. Aurelius called me last week. He told me about that boy Cato you were dating and then today your guidance counselor Ms. Everett called and told me the rest. I'm sorry that happened to you." I keep my head down as my mother speaks and something inside of me is happy she's finally talking to me in a way a mother would talk to their daughter.

"Katniss I'm trying," she says after I don't respond to her last statement. "I've stopped seeing Haymitch; as a friend, as anything."

"Okay," I respond quietly.

"I want to be better for your Katniss, for us. It's just hard some days getting up and realizing everything."

"I know." My mother places a hand over mine and we sit like that until my legs fall asleep from sitting. I tell her good night and she nods her head while I walk back to my room where I crawl up into my bed.

The week of school without Cato is what I expected. Some popular kids that are his friends give me dirty looks and I notice Glimmer even whispers about me whenever she walks by. I see that she wears his wrestling jacket by the time Friday comes and I assume she had been eyeing him the entire time we were together. I bet she gave him what he wanted.

Peeta has continued to try to get me to talk to him but all I've done is thanked him for the cheese buns. I know he cares but I can't continue dumping on him so I've decided not to share certain things with him anymore. I've declined his offers for lunch citing I'm working on a project and need the time in the library when honestly I've been sitting outside with Johanna. By the time his family's restaurant has its grand opening Halloween party, he's stopped asking.

This past week Cato returned to school and I only saw him for a second when his friends all cheered when he walked into the school. Glimmer was on his arm and of course smiling as if she was some god damned celebrity. I contemplate cutting school for a week to have some more time alone but Johanna convinces me otherwise. Her and Gale also convince me to go to the Mellark Bar and Grill on Friday night to celebrate with Peeta and his family.

"I really don't want to go," I tell Johanna as she draws in my whiskers. I'm going as a cat and her and Gale are going as Jack and Jill.

"You'll have fun and I think we owe Peeta with all the baked goods he's been sending us." Even though I haven't spoken to him he's sent us pastries a few times a week.

"Alright," I concede and I get up to head out the door.

Many students are there when we arrive and all dressed up in various outfits. I'm not surprised by the turn out, knowing the reputation of the Mellark's. The bakery has been around since Peeta's father was a teenager so most of us have grown up with their baked goods and us living in a small town; we like to support our own.

We walk in and immediately fill an empty table. The dining area is large and decorated with Halloween gags from skeletons to cob webs and also pictures of Peeta's family through the years. Some of Peeta's paintings line the walls as well as some old baking and cooking appliances and other knick knacks. All the tables have centerpieces that are inspired by Halloween and there are menus for what will be served tonight. Music is playing and some of the students and town's people have started dancing.

There are servers going around who are also in costume serving drinks and small finger foods. I spot Peeta in the corner talking to a group of people and he's smiling widely as usual pointing to different parts of the restaurant. He simply has on his wrestling jacket but has a fake axe glued to his head.

"I like that axe," Johanna comments when she notices I'm looking at him. "I hope you speak to him tonight." I confided in her that I've been ignoring Peeta and she disapproved. She believes Peeta is the last person I should be withdrawing from especially since he's always been so supportive.

"Johanna dance with me," Gale says to her and he nearly drags her to the dance floor giggling. I watch them closely as they move together and that sense of feeling alone washes over me again.

"Hey we need to stop meeting at parties like this," I look up and see Peeta smiling down at me.

"Oh hey Peeta," I try to answer nonchalantly and he laughs while he takes a seat.

"Not having a good time?" He asks slightly frowning when he sees my expression hasn't changed.

"No."

"Here, let me show you the ovens." Peeta holds out his hand and I take it and follow him to the back of the restaurant where he we walk through a door that says employees only.

"The ovens," he says proudly showing me large metal ovens.

"Oh, actual ovens. I thought that was a euphemism for something." Peeta laughs and takes my hand again and leads me further to another door that says 'office' in plain type.

"My office," he says as he ushers me in. There's a desk that has a laptop on it and a pad of paper and pen along with other office supplies. There's a small futon where he gestures me to sit.

"You've been acting weird lately Katniss," he says as we sit down. He produces two bottles of water from a mini fridge just behind him and I begin to drink.

"I'm fine really."

"You're not," he says matter of fact and he places his hand over mine drawing circles. I realize I'm alone with Peeta again and I feel something in my stomach at the feel of his thumb.

"Talk to me," he whispers.

"It's Cato," I finally reply sighing. "How did this happen? How did it go from him being decent to him being like every other jerk at school? Why did he target me?"

"He wanted your light. Even after all that's happened to you, you still manage to endure. You're strong Katniss and that draws people to you. Unfortunately it draws negative people as well as positive." I lean my head back on the futon and close my eyes. I keep running Cato's words through my head again and I feel the tears prick my eyes. Peeta's strong hand gently wipes my cheek and I sigh again.

"Don't cry over him Katniss. He doesn't deserve it." I open my eyes and I see that Peeta's eyes are glassy.

"Why are you getting emotional?"

"Because I don't like seeing my friends get hurt. You don't deserve this and it sucks the school couldn't do more. I can though."

"Peeta don't. I don't want you to get into trouble."

"Don't worry Katniss. Whatever I do will be subtle, but he'll get my point." Peeta pulls me closer to him on the futon and I wind up lying on his chest again.

"I don't want to dump my problems on you Peeta."

"You're not. I want to know what you're dealing with, that's why I ask."

"Okay," I nod into his chest and his hands travel to my lower back and his head rests on top of mine.

We sit there in silence until his phone beeps. Peeta opens the message on the phone and reads it.

"Looks like I'm needed back out there. Mason let me have a break so I could talk to you and now it's up."

"He knows we talk?"

"Both my brothers do and my father. My mother wouldn't think it was appropriate so I didn't tell her."

"Do you think we're being inappropriate?" Peeta smiles down to me when I ask him that.

"That's a good question. I know I'm drawn to you and want to comfort you when you're hurt and I know that if you didn't want me to you'd tell me. Am I doing anything to make you feel uncomfortable?" I honestly don't think he can make me feel uncomfortable with him because I'm always so relaxed around when we're together.

"I'm fine. You're fine." I smile. I feel like we can't talk about what we really want to talk about anyway because he's my teacher.

Peeta stands up and I follow him. He pulls me into a hug before kissing my forehead; this time more slowly than before.

"I'll see you outside. You walk out first." I hold his gaze a little while longer before walking out of his office door. He smiles at me as I leave and I can't help but think; what am I getting myself into?


	15. Chapter 14

That night after the Halloween party I went home happier than I had been in weeks. The entire party I kept sneaking glances at Peeta and I caught him sneaking some at me. What was this game we were playing? Peeta likes me, I can see it. The way he held me when I was in his office and the way he eyes glistened when I cried. He cared about me and tried to feel the pain I was in. When he kissed my forehead the warmth from his lips spread throughout my face and warmed it as if I was blushing. I fell asleep thinking about him and the dreams I had were nothing short of being magnificent.

We continued our game at school, having lunch together twice a week. Each time he would seal the end of our lunch with a kiss on my forehead. I wanted to pull his face down to meet my lips but I guess it's just not time for that. I have to be patient like Peeta must be as he waits for me. I assume anyway that he's waiting for me. Sometimes when he hugs me I think he wants to break the teacher-student relationship. His hands stay a little too long on my waist when we hug and sometimes he nuzzles into my neck breathing slowly and the warmth spreads to the point of eliciting a moan from me but I always manage to keep it inside.

Peeta and Gale have been hanging out a lot lately doing guy stuff; watching movies, golfing, and the like. A few Sundays Peeta has come to my house with Gale and I'm always nervous. He's here hanging out as a friend of Gale's and all I can think about is pulling him into my room. It's funny I have these thoughts of doing things with Peeta because I don't really know what sort of things to actually do. I've talked to Johanna about different sorts of things, and it usually leaves me blushing. To have only had one serious boyfriend, she knows a lot; she tells me she reads a lot of sexual health magazines and that's where she gets her information. I laughed until she pushed one in my direction and then I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.

We have a few days off from school to celebrate Thanksgiving and we purchase some baked goods from the bakery. I'm disappointed when I don't see Peeta there but his brother coyly tells me that he's next door. I pass by with Gale and stand there as they talk, because to anyone who may be passing by, they just see two friends talking and one of his students standing off to the side. I stare at Peeta as he speaks to Gale and I find myself smiling when I see him glance over at me.

"How are you Katniss? Ready for Thanksgiving?"

"Sure," I reply and we both smile. I feel like a lost school girl looking at him.

"Enjoy the baked goods and I hope I see you guys tomorrow at our Black Friday Brunch."

"Sounds fun." Why can't I talk? I feel like the words have just fallen out of my mouth.

Gale drives us back to his house and Mrs. Hawthorne is already setting the table with Posy and Johanna. Mr. Hawthorne is sitting in the living room with Rory and Shane. Rue is coming by later to have dessert with us and then to watch a movie.

"Everything looks beautiful Mrs. Hawthorne."

"Thank you Katniss. It's a shame your mother had to work." I give her a small smile but honestly I'm glad my mother is not here. Even though she's been trying to have a better relationship with me the last few weeks, it's still a disaster. Being around her sometimes makes me physically ill because it starts out alright and then she says something that just turns me off. Most of the time I'll just sit there in silence and listen to her talk and then answer her with one word answers.

Mrs. Hawthorne with the help of Mr. Hawthorne start bringing food to the table and we all gather round and take our seats. Posey says the blessing and then we all dig in. There is a wonderful turkey in the center surrounding by large dishes of stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, different salads, rice, macaroni and cheese and of course cranberry sauce. We all eat our fill and retire to the living room to start a fire while Rory and Shane clean up and do the dishes.

Mr. Hawthorne gets the fire roaring and I see that Johanna and Gale have cuddled into one another on the couch. Posy is playing on the floor with her dolls while Gale's parent's sit together on the couch next to one another with Mr. Hawthorne's arm about Mrs. Hawthorne.

Suddenly there is a knock at the door and I assume it's Rue coming over for dessert. I get up to go answer it and I see her standing there smiling and directly behind her I see Peeta.

"Hey Katniss," Rue says. "I ran into Mr. Mellark when my parent's dropped me off. What a coincidence." Peeta smiles and says hello and I let them both in.

"Rue and Peeta are here," I announce and I hear Rory bound around the corner from the kitchen.

"Hello Rue," he says and hugs her timidly. He holds her hand for a minute and they walk back into the kitchen.

"I brought these," Peeta says handing me two pies he had been holding. "Apple Blueberry, and Cinnamon Pear. Some new creations I've been working on for the holidays."

"Thank you," I reply and I lead him into the living room where everyone turns in his direction. I place the pies on the stove and walk back to where everyone is.

"Peeta!" Gale says standing up to shake his hand. Everyone else greets him and he takes a seat on the loveseat I had been sitting on. I sit down next to him and Rory appears from the kitchen with Rue and plates of pie.

"This is delicious," Johanna says and we all agree. When we're all done, I bring the dishes to the kitchen and Peeta joins me to help dry while I wash.

"How was your dinner with your family?" I ask Peeta.

"It was great. I closed the bakery around noon and dinner was on the table when I got in. Afterward I came here to have dessert with Gale's family. Was your mom here?"

"No she had to work. I'll bring her home something though." Peeta nods and we continue washing and drying in silence.

When we return to the living room the movie has started so Peeta and I take a seat on the loveseat. All the couples in the room are next to one another while Rue and Rory are on the floor along with Shane and Posy. Throughout the movie I notice Peeta staring at me and I look away blushing. When the movie is over I walk him to the door after he says good night to everyone.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"I look forward to it." Peeta hugs me but doesn't kiss my forehead and I suspect it because of where he is.

The next day we sit down in the Mellark Bar and Grill, myself, Gale and Johanna and a waitress with red curly hair brings us a menu.

"This all looks really good," Gale says. While him and Johanna start to talk I scan the dining room and look for Peeta. When I finally find him he's speaking with a table full of older ladies who seem to be fawning over him because he's laughing and scratching his head. I can almost spot a blush and I see him look up to me and smile.

The waitress comes back and begins to take our order.

"I'll have the new stuffed French toast with the cheese bun filling and one scrambled egg."

"Good choice," she says and then she turns toward Gale and Johanna and they order.

A little while later she comes back with our meals and I immediately taste the filling that is poking out from the French toast. It's amazing and it immediately reminds me of all the cheese buns and puffs that Peeta has made for me since the summer. I completely devour them and Johanna laughs at me.

"Goodness Katniss, I didn't even get a chance to ask for a taste," Gale chimes in.

"I see that you like the new French toast," and I look up and see that it's Peeta. He's holding a plate and when he lowers it I see it's another order of the French toast.

"Compliments of the house," he says and Gale and Johanna fork one over to their plate before I can I even move my fork.

"I guess I deserved that," I say smiling and then I take the last one and place it on my plate.

After we've paid our bill I see Peeta at the counter of the bar and he waves for me to come over.

"I'll be right back guys," I say to my friends and then I walk over to him.

"What are you doing tonight?" Peeta whispers to me when I stand in front of him.

"Nothing really. I have an early appointment tomorrow so I'll be home."

"Good. I was wondering if I could come over to see you."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I ask him maintaining my low voice.

"Probably not but I lost one of my lunch dates with you as a result of the holiday so I thought we could make it up. I texted Gale earlier and I suggested he take Johanna to the movies because I wanted to make these plans." I look at Peeta's eager eyes and I wonder how close to the line is he going to take this "relationship" of ours. I had lunch dates, as he called it, with him during school hours and I saw him on Thanksgiving. Now he wants to stop by my house to do God knows what. I'm excited of course but also nervous. I don't want to get him in trouble if we were to get caught.

"Alright," I finally agree. "Come over at 8pm. My mother won't be home either." I walk away from a smiling Peeta and meet Johanna and Gale by the car.

"What was that about?" Gale asks as he drives us back home.

"He wanted to come over tonight."

"Oh right. He texted me about that. Johanna you want to see a movie, maybe have dinner at the new bar and grill?" He smiles cheekily at her and I imagine Peeta may have arranged their actual date instead of just suggesting it.

"Sounds fun," and Johanna returns a similar cheeky grin.

Later on that night after showering and changing my clothes, I see my friends off to their movie date. I look at my watch and see that it's a quarter to 8 and I pace my kitchen nervously. My teacher/friend is coming over tonight and we're going to be alone. I decide to go and make some last touch ups on my appearance while I wait for Peeta. My hair has steadily been growing and the new shampoo my doctor prescribed has gotten my scalp nearly back to where it was before. The new cream I've been using has changed the texture of my burns scars to a smooth one and they aren't as sensitive to sunlight as before.

I don't have my arms exposed anyhow because it's not something I've shown to Peeta as of yet. I look at my outfit which consists of a long sleeve white t-shirt and jeans; I went for the comfortable look. Out the corner of my eye I see the brown leather jacket in my closet that belonged to my dad when he was a teenager. It hadn't fit him since I was a baby but he kept it and finally when I was 12 he gave it to me. Sometimes I wear it but mostly I let it stay in the closet. It still smells like my dad and some days it's just too overwhelming.

I hear the doorbell ring, bringing me out of my thoughts, and I give myself a once over before heading to answer it.

"Hello," Peeta greets as I open the door. He's brought bakery goods of course and I take the box and welcome him in. I take his coat and he sits on the couch in front of the television.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I ask from the kitchen as I put the box on the stove.

"No I'm okay." I get a bottle of water from the fridge for myself and sit down on the opposite end of the couch.

"Would you like to watch a movie?" I ask him picking up the remote.

"Sure." Peeta appears nervous and keeps running his hand through his hair.

"What's wrong Peeta?" I finally ask after I flipped through a few channels and he continues to tousle his hair.

"Nervous I guess."

"About what?"

"You."

"Why me?" I'm playing this game with him again but it looks like he's the one that is flustered.

"We're both here and you're so far away from me on the couch. Part of me wants to pull you closer and the other part, the teacher part, thinks I should leave."

"You're conflicted."

"Yes very. Somehow when I thought of coming over to your house like this I thought it would be different. I guess with everyone else gone it's just…"

"Oddly focusing?" We both laugh and I turn to him locking eyes.

"Very. There are things I want to say to you but I know I can't. Not yet anyway so I just have to listen to them as they swirl in my head. What I can say is please just be patient with me."

"I've waited this long," I reply with a small smile. We're beating around the bush. I'm doing the same thing he's doing by not telling him that I'm ready for him to kiss me, but I know he'll do everything but that. Kissing seems to be what will cross the line in our relationship. We're both okay with hugging, holding hands, gentle ministrations, and the occasional kiss on the forehead. If he went a few inches lower it would make everything difficult. And right now since I'm not sick, inviting him into my room is definitely a no-no.

The movie I found; a classic horror movie, continues to play and we sneak glances at one another all throughout. It's nearly 10pm when Gale texts me that they are now heading to dinner and will be home right after.

"They're having dinner now," I inform Peeta.

"Oh. Are you hungry?"

"No. Are you?"

"No." I turn back toward the television and feel the couch sink in beside me. I turn to see Peeta's eyes looking down to me.

"Hey," he whispers.

"Hey," I respond. He places his hand on the crown of my head and runs it down the length of my braid then loosens it.

"I always liked your hair down," he says as he runs his hands through my hair. I feel my breath speed up as his hand lands on my shoulder and down my arm.

"Thank you," I reply and Peeta leans down to my ear and whispers, "You're welcome." I feel his warm breath on my neck and it makes me dizzy. Peeta already knows what drives me crazy. He snakes his other hand around my waist and his fingers graze the tiny space of exposed skin sending sparks throughout my body. I place my inside arm around his waist, and the one on the outside I lift to his shoulder and lean forward. We're in this sideways hug and he continues breathing, his soft lips rubbing over my neck. He's not kissing me but he's half pressing his lips there. I place my hand up and into his hair and pull at the tiny curls at the nape of his neck.

We sit like this until the noise on the television changes because the movie has gone off. I pull away from him first and I see his eyes are wide.

"I like that," he says to me and he runs his hands through my hair once more. "You smell like coconut and lime."

"You smell like cheese buns and cinnamon." He smiles at me and then leans down to kiss my forehead this time trailing the kiss to my nose and he stops mere inches from mouth. I stare as he licks his lips and I will him to come closer. We're frozen in that moment and neither of us moves.

"I think I should go," he finally says and I nod. The tension between us is so thick I could cut it with a knife and serve it on a plate. We both stand up and I walk ahead to get his coat.

"Thank you for coming over and thanks for the cheese buns."

"Sure anytime." He runs his hand over my arm once more, and after he puts his coat on he leaves. I watch him hop into his car and then drive away. I let out the breath I've been holding and then turn off the television.

I change and get ready for bed and just lay there. Johanna and Gale will be here any minute and all I can think about is Peeta. My skin was on fire when he touched me and he left me literally speechless. His mouth was so close to mine and all I wanted was to finally feel those lips across mine. The desire for him burns me up and sends a tingly feeling that pools in my panties. I've never felt like this for anyone, not even with Cato when he would kiss me. I'm attracted to Peeta and my body responds to him whenever he's around.

After tossing and turning for a few minutes I can't take it anymore so I head into my bathroom. I lock the door and strip from my clothes, turning on the hot shower and taking down the massage head. I need something to extinguish this flame that has been building all night. I sit down and prop one leg on the bar I used to steady myself back when I had constant leg pain. I put the shower head on pulse and point where it's needed. I let myself think of the feel of Peeta; his breath, his lips on my neck, and how his smile melted me. I make short circles with the water aiming at every inch that desires for him and soon I hear myself saying his name. I'm low at first but by the time I've let myself drown in the thought of him, I hear my voice echo around the bathroom. Soon my lower area is throbbing and with one swift turn of my wrist I'm nearly screaming his name and that's when I hear the banging.

"Katniss what's going on in there?" I turn my head quickly to the sound of her voice and drop the shower head onto the tub floor and water spray everywhere. I knock over a few bottles of shampoo as I try to gain my footing as I attempt to shut off the water.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," I call out. Jesus Christ I've been caught by Johanna.


	16. Chapter 15

"I'm actually really happy you're enjoying yourself for once. You might want to give me a heads up or be quieter though next time. What if Gale came in with me? I honestly thought Peeta was in there with you, you were so loud. Gale would have ripped the door down. You know how protective he is of you."

I sit on my bed wrapped in a towel steadily turning redder as Johanna talks to me. After my initial reaction to being caught, it was nearly 10 minutes before I finally left the bathroom. I fixed all of the bottles, dried up the water, and wrapped myself in a towel and finally opened the door to a wide-eyed Johanna. She looked in the bathroom expecting to see Peeta standing there half naked, but was only met with a foggy steam. I immediately sat on my bed waiting for the lecture.

"I'm proud of you though, exploring your sexuality like that," she adds and I close my eyes tight.

I then throw myself back on my pillow covering my face and Johanna bursts into laughter.

The next morning I have my usual therapy appointment with Dr. Aurelius and we talk about how I'm handling the recent holidays and how to manage the ones coming up.

"How was your Thanksgiving Katniss?" Dr. Aurelius begins. He's sitting across from me as usual and he sipping Earl Grey Tea. He offered me a cup and I took a peppermint tea bag and am now steeping it as I look down watching the tea diffuse from the bag.

"Better than last year."

"How so?"

"I was with Johanna and Gale and his family. My other two friends came over and it just made everything complete. I've been happier lately on my new medication and even when I think about my dad and Prim, I remember all the conversations I've had with you about them. I think about the positive instead of the negative. It's becoming easier now since I'm already in a good mood mostly."

"What's been putting you in a good mood?"

I sigh and I tell him about my relationship with Peeta. I back track to how it felt to be hurt by Cato who I was beginning to trust, and how Peeta had been there for me helping me get through that, and even before during the summer. I leave out all the details of just how much alone time we share, even though I know Dr. Aurelius wouldn't judge. I'm aware Peeta is my teacher, but I'm at the legal age of sexual consent in our state so he wouldn't be breaking any laws if something were to happen between us. Now if we talk about morality, there are a few conversations we could have. However, I don't think he's in the business of talking to me about that right now. Dr. Aurelius wants me to be happy and to live my life as a healthy young woman. As long as I am not doing anything harmful to myself or someone else, he generally agrees with my choices. But just to be safe, I'll leave out those details.

"That sounds really good Katniss. I'm really pleased that you are maintaining the relationships you began at the summer intensive. I'm also glad that you have someone else to lean on for support besides Gale and Johanna. How is the relationship with your mother going?

I take a sip of my tea and I begin. "She's trying to talk to me and I just listen. I encouraged her to come see you or someone but she doesn't think she is ready for that yet. Her work seems to be her distraction and I don't see but once or twice a week."

"I'll put in some calls at the hospital to see if I can coordinate with someone there." Dr. Aurelius gets up from his seat to refill his cup with hot water and then brings over some pastries he's pulled from a Mellark Bakery box.

"These are really good," he says pointing down at the cheese puffs. "I can't seem to get enough of them honestly." I smile at him and take one as he pushes the plate toward me.

"Well it doesn't look like I need to change your depression medication because it is working well and it seems the other medication you're taking for your pain is also working well. I see you have an appointment with your medical doctor today?"

"Yes. I'm getting my monthly shots and we're also going to discuss if I'm healthy enough to continue to learn how to drive."

"Yes. I received a letter to evaluate if you are mentally fit to do so after the accident and I believe you are. It's been over a year and you're healing up just fine. How do you feel about it though?"

"I'm okay. I've come to terms that accidents happen but I'm sure I'll have to discuss more things with you when I actually get behind the wheel again."

"Alright fair enough. Just take your time okay?"

We finish up the appointment and he gives me the form to bring to my medical doctor and from there I can sign up for Driver's Education at school.

There is no one before me when the cab drops me off at my doctor's office so I'm ushered right in. My doctor reads the form and attaches it to a medical clearance form I'm to take to my Driver's Education class in the coming weeks. He also started paperwork for me to have a handicapped permit for a year as I continue to recover from my physical injuries. I rub my arm after he administers my medications and after noting that the other medication worked for my skin and hair, he gives me another prescription with refills.

When I return to school that Monday all I can hear in the hall is everyone's shopping ideas for Christmas. I don't have many people to shop for and I've made plans with Gale and Johanna to go during the week so we don't run into the weekend crowd of people. I don't really want anything this year and it isn't because I'm thinking of my lost family; I feel like I have enough.

I pass by Cato in the hall with Glimmer and of course she gives me a dirty look while Cato looks away from me. He's technically not supposed to be near me but the exception is if he's walking to class. Cato can't exactly turn the other way but he can't approach me. Glimmer however can and I've noticed her around at the weirdest of times. She's not in my art class like last year but some of her friends are. Whenever I leave the class, that is if I'm not having lunch with Peeta, she's outside waiting for them and they all give me a look. I'm not afraid of getting into an argument with them but I don't think they want that. They just watch me and some days it feels uncomfortable.

As the weeks progress and it gets closer to Christmas the halls are decorated and gift bags are everywhere. I managed to go shopping with my friends and the gifts I have I want to give to them at Gale's house. Rue has been invited again so everyone I care about will be there, well except Peeta. I have his gift with me today and I plan to give it to him for our last lunch before the Christmas break. I'm so lost in my own thoughts I don't realize I've been walking behind Cato and Glimmer this entire time. They don't seem to notice me and I assume there was a crowd that dwindled down between us so I just decide to stay calm and walk quietly until my art classroom comes up.

"It's so not fair," I hear Glimmer say to him. "I thought Mr. Mellark promised to give you that recommendation for college."

"He didn't exactly promise; it was between me and another guy. I guess he thought Fitzgerald was better. Now I have to find another coach to recommend me and I need the letter by the second week of January. I don't know if the other coaches can do it though. We've all been asking and it's a limit to the amount they can recommend. He's new so he only was allowed to recommend one student. I thought it was a sure thing with all the extra work he's been asking me to do. I've been so tired but I kept up. I guess Fitzgerald did more" I almost stop walking as I hear this. Is this one of the things Peeta said he'd do to teach Cato a lesson? I almost feel bad for how Cato sounds but not exactly. He was a jerk and someone needed to set him straight.

I veer off into my classroom not completely hearing what Glimmer had begun to whisper to him and take my usual seat. I had been working on our final project since this class is only a semester long. I didn't know what I wanted to do at first but then it hit me all at once. Peeta always talked about conveying your feelings in your paintings so I painted a point of view of how I felt that first time I was in my shower taking care of myself to the thoughts of Peeta. Yes it's a bit risqué but none of me is in that painting. It's more abstract than anything and features streaks of color along a tiled surface. I wanted it to say euphoria because that's exactly what I felt my first time doing that. I had never done anything like that or even wanted to. I guess that year I lost to grieving and recovering I may have naturally done something like that, but my body was so battered that part of me didn't seem to work.

At the end of the class we all stand our final paintings on easels in the back and the class files out leaving me and Peeta.

"Nice job on your final. Abstract right?" He asks

"Yes, very abstract."

"What do you call it?"

"First time." Peeta smiles like he always does and then goes to lock the door and pulls the shade.

"It's been colder lately so I brought my famous lamb stew." I sit as he arranges the food and spoons everything in its rightful place.

"You look happy," he tells me while eating the stew.

"I am. Remember I told you a few weeks back I'm allowed to start learning how to drive again?"

"Yes."

"Well I got into the Driver's Education class next semester!"

"That's great Katniss. Congratulations. Now you can come to the restaurant and I give you all the stew you can eat." I laugh and I see a twinkle in Peeta's eyes. Our lunches had been the same as usual with a hug and kiss on the forehead at the end, and the increased sexual tension. I don't know how we're both doing this without crossing that line we both are afraid of.

When we're done eating, Peeta cleans up the table and I pull his gift out of my school bag.

"Merry Christmas," I tell him pushing the box toward him.

"Oh you didn't have to Katniss," he says and then he opens the box.

"The clerk said at the art store that those were really good paintbrushes."

"They are," he says and then he stands up to give me a hug and I meet him there as I hover over my chair. "Thank you," he says in my neck. "I really like them and funny enough I needed a few new ones."

We sit back down and Peeta pulls a small canvas from behind his desk.

"For you." I look down at the painting and my breath catches. It's a scene from the meadow during the summer where Rue and I were under the tree. Rue is laying on her back singing and I'm looking adoringly at her singing as well. The meadow is green and full of dandelions and other wild flowers. The focus is just on us and the large tree hanging over us.

"This is so beautiful," I say covering my mouth. "Thank you," I look up at him. My eyes are glistening and he's sporting a toothy smile.

"I'm glad you like it."

"I love it. Rue was singing a song that reminded me of my father and it was just a beautiful moment for me. You captured it so well." I reach over and squeeze his hand.

After the bell for the period goes off I gather my stuff but not before Peeta quickly kisses my forehead and caresses my cheek.

"Merry Christmas Katniss. I'll see you later alright?" I walk to the door and unlock it and make my turn down the hall. I hold the canvas that Peeta slipped into a silk bag to my chest as I walk.

"How was lunch, _Katniss_," I hear and I whip my head around and it's Glimmer with her bunch of friends.

"Is that a present from, hmm let me see, Mr. Mellark?" What is she doing? I ignore her and keep walking.

"Pretty interesting you having lunch with him so much. I wonder what you two are actually doing." Glimmer starts laughing and her friends join in and then one of them whispers something that sends them laughing even harder.

Later that night I settle into bed reflecting on what Glimmer said to me earlier. I wonder if she's not the only one noticing I'm having lunches with Peeta. I never thought anything of it but now that it seems Glimmer has some sort of vendetta against me and it's something I'll have to worry about now.

* * *

Christmas soon arrives with a light snow across Panem. We sit near the fireplace at Gale's house and open the gifts over hot chocolate and cheese buns. Gale and Johanna got me clothes and I gave Gale a gift card to buy music. For Johanna I bought her some pairs of scrubs for her Nursing Assistant program because next semester she'll finally start her externship and work in a nursing home. Gale gave Johanna jewelry and Johanna bought a new radio for his car. The others received a variation of gifts but what I liked the most was that Rue came by with Rory's gift. When they exchanged them; Rue received a white fluffy sweater while Rory received a video game he wanted, they kissed sweetly. Rory was pretty embarrassed but Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne are enamored with Rue so to see them together always makes them happy.

Tonight the three of us are going to the dinner Peeta's family restaurant is hosting. They are doing really well to the point that Peeta will be going part time next semester so that he can juggle being a manager here, coaching wrestling, and teaching his art classes. I'm worried that he'll be too tired to do all three, but he assured me he had a heavier work load when he was in college. Peeta was just excited for the opportunity to be able to do all the things he loves.

The restaurant is decorated with red and green with adorned Christmas trees in every corner. The patrons are wearing a variety of Christmas themed outfits while the staff are all wearing matching red Mellark Bar and Grill sweaters and khaki pants. I opted for a red sweater dress with a black belt and black long boots, while Gale and Johanna are wearing Christmas sweaters his mother had made for them and black pants. I wore my hair down because I know Peeta likes it and I'm hoping to catch him under some mistletoe so he can finally kiss me.

The same red headed waitress waits on us and I scan the room for Peeta. He's making his rounds thanking everyone for coming by to have dinner with his family and just before he comes over to my table I see Ms. Undersee.

"Hello Peeta!" I hear her say and she throws her arms up and embraces Peeta in an awkward hug. They stand there and she engages him in conversation. Peeta shifts his weight from foot to foot until finally he gets away to come to our table.

"How is everything so far?" Gale and Johanna answer him with reassuring words but I'm too busy looking over at Ms. Undersee. She's sitting at the bar now, having a drink and something tells me she's after Peeta tonight. I noticed how friendly she was touching him as they spoke but thankfully Peeta seemed only professional with her.

"You look really nice Katniss. Are you Mrs. Claus' much younger sister?" I almost miss his complement and I smile when I finally turn to him and see him staring at me.

A little while later our meals are brought to us and I've convinced Gale and Johanna to try the lamb stew. They seem to enjoy it and I tease them about taking more of my suggestions when I notice music is playing and some of the patrons are dancing near the bar. Some of the older people are slow dancing while some of the younger kids are jumping up and down to the same exact song. I spot Peeta and once again Ms. Undersee is talking his ear off and her hand is on his. I can see that he's smiling at her but I'm not sure what they are saying. Suddenly I'm feeling jealous and I want to go over there but realistically what could I say? My 'relationship' with him isn't supposed to be happening so I can't exactly approach him.

Gale and Johanna are on the dance floor now and I'm still here sipping on my diet coke watching Peeta talk to Ms. Undersee. What could they be discussing for this long? I'm at the point that I can't take looking at them so I get up to use the bathroom. While I'm in there I reapply my lip gloss and comb through my wavy hair. I wonder if Peeta even noticed my hair was down. He noticed my dress but I guess he couldn't mention his preference for how I wear my hair.

When I return back to my table I see that Gale and Johanna are still dancing and Peeta is still talking to Ms. Undersee. My jealousy has gotten the best of me, so I decide I'm ready to go home. I text Johanna and Gale that I'll settle the bill and that I'll be waiting by the car. I give in to the fact that I'm acting childish by not saying good night to Peeta but he seems to be very busy with whatever Ms. Undersee is saying so I'll just get back to him later.

On the drive home I'm quiet but my friends don't notice because they're singing along to Christmas carols. Gale stays over my house tonight and he and Johanna tucks themselves into her bed and I spread out on mine. I keep running the image of Peeta and Ms. Undersee through my mind and I let my old self-doubt creep in and it tells me she's a better match for him. What could I offer him except my emotional problems? I still have to figure out what I want to do with my life and then accomplish it before I could ever be on his playing field. Why had he shown interest in me when he knows how young I am? My mind races for at least an hour before I see it. My phone is lit up so I decide to take a look at it. I hadn't noticed but I have a text message from almost 2 hours ago.

_Hey Katniss!_

_It's Peeta. I broke a rule and got your number from Gale but I needed to talk with you. You left in a hurry and I wondered what was wrong? Can I come by tomorrow if that's okay? You know how I get when you're not feeling well. I'll talk to you soon._

_Peeta_

That seemed friendly enough but he didn't address what the hell Ms. Undersee was doing up under him all night. I plug my phone back in and close my eyes. I guess I'll have to ask him that when he comes over tomorrow, that is if I let him.


	17. Chapter 16

**Thank you for your continued support. This chapter and the remaining were beta'd by my friend posthungergamessyndrome on Tumblr.**

* * *

When I wake up in the morning, I reluctantly text Peeta back and invite him to come over in the afternoon. I'm hoping my mood will change by the time he gets here because I really want to talk to him. I need to know where we stand.

He arrives later that afternoon bearing gifts of pastries and lamb stew. Gale and Johanna are on the couch, so I lead him into my room.

"Are you feeling better today?" Peeta asks as he approaches me once my door is closed.

"I'm fine." That doesn't come out like I wanted it to. I guess I am not feeling better. I stand there with my arms folded, looking away from Peeta.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine," I insist, expressing a little annoyance in my voice. I am still thinking about Madge being all over him and I am not sure where my anger lies.

"Alright," Peeta relents, unsure of what to make of my behavior. He brings the chair to my bed and sits down on it, while I arrange myself comfortably on my bed.

"So did you like the party last night? I really regret I didn't talk to you as much as I wanted to. Madge was keeping me busy the entire night."

I bet she was.

"Oh," I reply, still not looking directly at him.

"Okay, something is not right. You're way too quiet and are acting unusually. What's on your mind?" Peeta reaches out and places a hand on mine. I pull away and stand up quickly, folding my arms again.

"I think we should stop meeting like this," I blurt out.

"What?"

"I think we're treading on dangerous territory and I don't want to get you in trouble."

"Are…are you sure? Everything seemed fine before. What brought this on?"

"I just think this _arrangement _is not fair, knowing we can't keep our ends of the bargain."

"What do you mean? Are you interested in someone else?"

I remain silent because I don't want to hear him say that he is actually interested in someone else. I don't even know what the status between him and Ms. Undersee is, but it seems they had a great conversation and she was way too comfortable with him.

"Maybe you should go," I utter. Looking confused, he gets up from the chair, and walks toward me.

He looks me straight in the eye and cradles my hair, "Is that what you really want, Katniss?"

I nod, and Peeta's shoulders slumps. He then leans down and places a small kiss on my forehead, gently running his hand along my cheek.

"Alright," he concedes. "Hopefully I'll see you later."

I just keep staring off into space. Shortly I hear the door open and shut. I then walk over to my bed, throw myself down, and begin to cry. He barely protested. He must have wanted to end whatever we had between us. The kiss even felt like a goodbye kiss.

In the early evening, Gale gets a craving for lamb stew, so we head to the restaurant for a takeout order. Somewhere between me getting up to lock my bedroom door and crying until I fell asleep and waking up, I realize I should talk to Peeta. Maybe I over reacted and he was just giving me my space. Peeta has been patient with me so far, so I should trust that.

I decide to go in while we wait for the order, so that I can talk to him. I look around but I don't immediately see him. I wait a few minutes at the bar and then I hear his voice. When I turn around, he is coming out the "Employees Only" door but he is not facing in my direction, but toward whomever he is talking with. I start my way toward him when I suddenly see who he is talking with - Ms. Undersee.

I immediately stop in my tracks, not wanting to disturb his "friendly" conversation. Then he pulls her into a hug, much like the ones he gives me. Did he just have her in his office like how he had me there? Except they can be openly affectionate because she's not his student. I manage to spin on my heel before he can see me and make it back to Gale and Johanna, who have just picked up the order.

"Ready, Katniss?" Gale asks.

"Ready," I mutter so low I can barely hear myself.

Once again, I'm sitting in the back of Gale's car brooding, except this time I'm mad at myself for thinking this could have been any other way. Gale and Johanna are so busy with themselves they don't notice I neglect my stew when we get home, and I simply go straight to shower and then to bed.

When they finally come in, I pretend I am already asleep. They both get into her bed, and I hear some giggling before they settle down, but not without a few "stop it's" and "Katniss is right there's." I really am not in the mood to hear them have "quiet" sex, or whatever they do to try to keep down the amount of noise Gale makes when she's bringing him to orgasm.

Johanna wakes me up the next morning and invites me to breakfast. I oblige by getting out of bed and wrapping a robe around me.

"What happened with you last night?" She asks, forking a pancake onto my plate, followed by some eggs.

"Nothing, just tired."

"Are you sure that was it? You love that lamb stew and I had to physically restrain Gale from eating it. It's in the fridge if you want it for lunch later."

"Yes, I was just really tired. The medication sometimes has weird side effects."

"Okay, just let me know if you need anything." I nod and continue picking at my breakfast.

For the rest of the day, I manage to keep to myself without my friends noticing. Both of them go off to work later in the afternoon and I retreat to my bedroom. I am lying on my bed reading a book when I hear my phone buzz.

_Can I talk to you?_

It is from Peeta, but I am not in the mood to talk to him. What does he want to say to me? I'm sorry but I'm with Ms. Undersee now? You're a little girl and I can't continue to wait for you?

I ignore him and keep ignoring his texts for the next few days. There is another party at the restaurant for New Year's Eve, and of course Gale and Johanna want to go. Gale and Peeta have become good friends, and according to Gale, he has been asking about me a lot lately. He has been honest and told him he doesn't know what is going on with me. Peeta doesn't go into any more details about what is happening with us, and Gale doesn't pry.

We arrive at the party, and it is full of people from our town and students from the high school. I make my way to a table, where we are quickly waited on, and our sodas and appetizers are brought to us. Gale and Johanna go over to the dance floor and I keep my seat warm, picking at the mozzarella sticks. I notice that Glimmer is here with her friends, but there is no sign of Cato. She spots me and gives me the stink eye, then laughs with her friends. I grumble and stare into my soda, mindlessly swirling my straw.

Amidst the crowd, I find Peeta. He is talking to patrons, laughing and smiling. I keep staring at him and to my surprise, I don't see Ms. Undersee anywhere. He is working the crowd tonight, so she must have stayed home. Peeta will probably meet her back in his place and do God knows what. Why am I even thinking about that?

Peeta catches my stare once and smiles at me, but it is not his usual smile. I look back down into my soda, and then turn my gaze to Johanna and Gale, who are having fun on the dance floor. They return to the table a few times throughout the night, trying to get me to dance with them, but I refuse each time. I tell them I'll come over just before midnight so we can hug one another, but not before then.

I continue sipping my third soda when I feet a hand on my arm. I look up and see Peeta.

"Come here, I need to talk to you." My mind freezes but my body moves with him. I follow him through the "Employees Only" door and straight into his office. As soon as the door is shut, he pulls me into an embrace.

"What's wrong, Katniss?"

"Nothing," I evasively reply, not meeting his eyes. His arms are impossibly warm around my form and I can feel the heat of his gaze.

"You're not being honest with me," he prods. I feel him lift his strong arm, his hand landing on my head as he smoothes my hair and gently places that same hand on my shoulder.

"Look at me," he softly commands. I lift my head after a moment, and the tears are already forming.

"What is it, Katniss?" I am feeling overwhelmed at what I need to say to him. I shake my head and I feel the tears pouring down on my face.

"Something is not right," Peeta worries, wiping a few of my tears away.

I stay silent and let the tears continue to fall. Peeta's eyes are transfixed on mine and I finally burst it out.

"Are you seeing Ms. Undersee?" I sob in a cracked voice.

"What? No! She's a colleague." Peeta pauses for a moment, searching my eyes. "Is this why you've been acting strange? Was it the night at the party you were concerned about? We were talking about work stuff with the teacher's union."

"I saw her coming out of your office and you hugging her," I reveal.

"When?"

"A few days ago, when we came in for lamb stew takeout."

"I was congratulating her for being elected our new Union Delegate. She was telling me her plan to go further into politics, so she can do more for our school district."

Peeta backs away from me and stares me down while he runs a hand through his hair. "Do you not trust me Katniss? Have I ever done anything to hurt you?"

I shake my head and glance down at my feet. I am completely embarrassed because what he is saying makes sense. I remember hearing my history teacher talk about Ms. Undersee being interested in politics. I can't believe I didn't remember that or think that could be why she was talking to Peeta. She had been popping into almost every classroom I was in the last week of school handing information to the teachers. I was just too caught up to how she was behaving toward him, and how low my self-esteem is at times. I resume crying now but out of embarrassment.

"I'm waiting for you, Katniss." Peeta walks closer to me, wrapping his arms around me again. "I care about you and I'm not going to do anything that would contradict that."

Peeta leans in and kisses my forehead. "You're special to me and no one else can take your place. It's just the timing is all messed up, but I'm willing to wait."

I start to smile and Peeta does also, widely.

"I care about you too," I finally admit after I wipe my tears and stop crying. "I guess it was my turn to be jealous."

"Don't be, it's just you and me. Remember that." We stand there looking into the other's eyes and suddenly we hear a throng of "happy new year's" coming from the dining room.

"It's midnight," he whispers.

"It is," I softly answer back.

Peeta kisses my forehead before tracing his lips down to my nose. He hovers over my lips and whispers, "soon," and then kisses me right at the juncture of my jaw and neck. I gasp out his name and he pulls me closer, lingering there with his slow kisses. When he comes back up, his face is flushed and I am sure mine mirrors his.

"You have no idea the effect you have on me," he breathes out.

Eventually we make it to the futon, where I lay on Peeta's chest and he runs his hands through my un-braided hair. We talk about everything and nothing. He goes on to talk about being a part-time manager at the restaurant, and also teaching and coaching. Peeta loves to stay busy and have a purpose in his community. He asks me about my goals, and I tell him I know I will be attending the local community college in the fall, but I am not sure yet what I'll study. Peeta encourages me to possibly stick around and work as a teacher's assistant at the Summer Intensive. They will surely have that position available and that he will give me a recommendation without a doubt. Sometimes I forget that Peeta is actually my friend, and not just the man I'm waiting to kiss one day.

Around 1am I leave his office. I slowly walk through the "Employees Only" door, but only to find a few couples swaying on the dance floor, and even less are seated in the dining area. Johanna and Gale are clearly drunk off of each other, smiling and sneaking kisses as they stare into the other's eyes. It is their first New Year's together and something tells me this moment has been a long time coming. I find my way to the bar and order a soda, then turn around to watch my friends. They wave when they see me, but busy themselves into the moment just a few seconds later.

Peeta finally walks out of the "Employees Only" door and heads to the front to check in with the host. They start a conversation, and from the expression on Peeta's face after looking at the computer monitor over the cash register, they did well tonight. At closing time around 2am, I glance at Peeta and smile. He returns it, and I then head to Gale's car.

I sit in silence in the backseat, wrap up in my recollection of tonight with Peeta. When I walked in earlier I was mad at him, but now I'm so happy I could burst. I never disclosed to my friends why I was upset with Peeta in the first place, and I decide they don't need to know all the details. I don't want to discuss my current feelings with them because what Peeta and I are doing is taboo. It may not be illegal but it's different. The things he did with me tonight may have not crossed the line we set, but it did cross _a _line.

Gale stays over sleeping in Johanna's bed, and they seem to fall asleep almost instantaneously. They must have really danced the night away. I check my phone before I plug it in, and sure enough there's a text from Peeta.

_Goodnight and sleep well. I'll see you back in school in a few days. Feel free to text me during off hours if you want to talk. Remember, it's you and me._

I read his text message over and over and smile to myself. I hold my pillow against my body and run my fingers up and down the soft cover, imagining it as Peeta's chest. Whenever he holds me I feel so warm and safe. When he traces invisible patterns into my lower back, I close my eyes and imagine his hands are everywhere. I feel my face warming and I realize he doesn't know the effect he has on me either.


	18. Chapter 17

It's the first day back to school, and I am in the best mood I have ever been in for returning to school in a long while.

Physically, my pain level is minimal and I am starting to feel like I am actually healing up. I got my monthly shots yesterday, and my doctor is impressed by my results with the new medication. So much so that h e wants to recommend me to enter a study since this medication is fairly new on the market, and I agree to it.

My scars are continuing to blend back with my original skin as much as medication can allow, but I still keep myself covered out of modesty. My scars are personal, and I feel I will only show them to someone who I trust enough to know that about me.

Johanna only goes to homeroom before she is picked up. She is taken along with the other classmates in her program to a local nursing home to begin her practical experience. She was nervous putting on her scrubs the first time this morning, and nearly cried when she saw herself in the mirror. Johanna is accomplishing one more step toward her goal, and I am so proud of her. I gave her a warm hug, and Gale gave her a longer one, followed by a kiss, to which she slightly blushed. As I stood there looking on at my two friends, I think that they are more important to me than anyone else in the world right now.

Peeta comes a close third. That scares me a little, but I won't deny my feelings for him to myself any longer. I am closer to falling in love with him than I ever have with anyone else, and I hope it is not because he is the only one to treat me the way he has treated me. The fact that he is waiting for me tells me that we are both patient and care enough about each other to set and respect our boundaries.

Ms. Trinkett hands out our schedules for this semester, and I see that I am with Peeta in my Painting 2 class. I look forward to our lunches, where we can discuss everything and anything. I don't have to be worried about Ms. Undersee, or anyone else for that matter, getting in our way. We almost could act like a couple now that I know his feelings, even though it's confined behind closed doors at school and in my house. It's a start though.

I arrive in my painting class, but I don't see Peeta anywhere. The students are filing in quietly, and I take my usual seat at the back. I occupy myself with replying to text messages, and see that I have a missed one from both Johanna and Rue. I haven't seen Rue since Christmas, and she spent New Year's Eve at Gale's house with Rory. They watched all the festivities that comes on television each year, until the live coverage of the fireworks. I make plans to see Rue this weekend. Just before I open my text from Johanna, Mr. Cinna walks in.

"Alright guys, I know you were expecting Mr. Mellark, but he is now only teaching the first two sections due to other obligations. Let's start." I am disappointed I didn't make it into Peeta's class, but Mr. Cinna is a good teacher. I'll definitely have to find time to see him outside of school now.

After class is over, I make my way to the lunch room to eat alone. Rue doesn't have lunch this period and Johanna is not here. I take out my phone and read Johanna's text. She sent me a screenshot of the entrance of the nursing home and a cute story about getting to cuddle with adorable old people, which made me laugh. I then decide to send Peeta a text, asking what happened with my section, but he didn't respond while I was at lunch.

When I arrive to my next class, I have a note waiting for me to go speak with my guidance counselor. I am excused from class and head to Ms. Everett's office.

"Hello Katniss, Happy New Year. How was your break?" I see Ms. Everett has a file on her desk.

"It was great, thank you."

"Good, good. Well, I called you in here today because I wanted to discuss with you a wonderful opportunity we are offering our seniors who are excelling in art with Mr. Mellark." She explains that Peeta wants to take five of his best art students to galleries and other art-inspired events throughout this semester, and guide them through a final project, which will be showcased in an art show at the end of the year.

"Would you be interested in something like that?" Ms. Everett asks.

"Sure," I answer without having to even think about it. I've really enjoyed my art class and taking an additional one where I can have more time with Peeta, of course I'll do it.

"Alright. We have two slots for this extracurricular activity, and it will be for two hours on either Fridays after school or on Saturday afternoons, which one would you like?"

I tap my chin thinking about which day would be the best. I don't have anything to do on Friday evenings and on Saturday mornings I have my therapy appointments.

"What time on Saturday?"

"Noon to 2pm."

My therapy is from 10am to 11am, so I will be able to make it to the class by noon. Before I can voice out my choice, my cell phone vibrates and I see a text from Peeta.

_Take the Saturday session._

"Saturday," I say to Ms. Everett, who seems to have not noticed me checking my cell phone as she is busy writing something down.

"Sounds good, I'll pencil you in for that then. There will be an orientation afterschool today, and the first session will be this upcoming Saturday. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure." I sign some paperwork and Ms. Everett hands me a syllabus for the program to look over before this afternoon.

When I get outside the guidance office, I send Peeta a reply text.

_I picked Saturday. How did you know?_

Peeta responds back quickly.

_I spoke to Ms. Everett earlier and she told me she'd be calling you down to the office. I'll speak to you more about it this afternoon, after the other students leave._

I walk to my next class thinking about this new project Peeta is involving me in. I wonder why he didn't tell me about this before.

I shuffle through the rest of my classes, collecting new assignments, and by the time I'm in the auditorium for the orientation, I'm pretty tired. I recognize the other four students who signed up for this program. They are either from my previous and current painting classes or from the summer intensive. One of them is Glimmer's friend, Clove, who gives me a dirty look that I ignore.

"Hello, everyone. I'm glad you all accepted my invitation to my special extracurricular program for the arts. I'll be taking you as a group to different galleries, art shows and the likes, where you will take notes, pictures and sketches, whenever possible. You will then compile all of this information and use it as inspiration to create a project for the school's art show, where each one of you will be featured. I've already extended recommendation letters to all of you, and some of you already plan to major in some sort of Art major when you enter college in the fall."

I look at Peeta intently as he discusses the program, and I see Clove smirking at me. She is a really great artist and I like her work, but why does she have to be such a bitch? I never even had a single conversation with her before, so I don't get why she's taking out on me whatever issue her gal pal Glimmer has with me.

At the end of the orientation, Peeta mentions that he'll see us on our prospective days. There will be an art show at the community college and that will be our first trip. He reminds us to bring a pad of paper as well as a camera to capture the artists' works. I discover I am the only one who signed up for Saturdays, leaving Peeta and I alone to go to these events.

"Hey Katniss," Peeta says to me once everyone else had left.

"Why didn't you tell me about this program?"

"It was a surprise."

"Oh. And how did you know I'd be the only student to enroll on Saturday?"

"Because no senior wants to be seen with their teacher on the weekend."

"Not even a really attractive almost 22 year old?" I tease, just loud enough for him to hear.

He smiles widely and runs a hand through his hair. "Not even."

Peeta walks me outside, where Gale is waiting for me in his car. Peeta leans in the car on Gale's side, and they make plans to catch a movie before we drive off.

"So it looks like you guys are back to talking to one another?"

"Yes we made up."

"Good. Just be careful Katniss. Peeta is a good guy but you know no one will ever be good enough for my Katniss," he teases.

"Funny," I chuckle.

"Seriously though, be careful. I know he's the first guy that has treated you like how you're supposed to be treated, but try not to fall too hard. Take it slow."

"Thanks Gale, I will."

When I arrive home, I go into my room to start my homework. About an hour later, Gale knocks on the door and tells me he's leaving to get Johanna. I take a break from my English essay and check my text messages. Johanna is still at the nursing home, and informs me her feet are extra tired today. They already had them dive in and start taking care of patients. I tell her Gale is on his way to get her. Right then, my phone beeps with another message and this time, it's from Peeta.

_Thinking about you._

I quickly type back.

_Thinking about you too._

Peeta responds.

_Can I come over? I'm not doing anything right now and don't have wrestling practice today. I just want to see you for a little while._

I nearly drop my phone at the sheer thought of him coming over and type a simple,

_Sure._

I sit on my bed, trying to get through my math homework while I wait for Peeta to come over. My heart is pounding and the feeling of waiting for him is exhilarating. When the doorbell rings, I fly out of my room to answer it.

"Hey," I greet as I invite him in.

"I was just doing my homework. Gale went out to get Johanna so it's just us for a little while."

"Alright," he smiles. I take his hand and we walk toward my room. When I close the door, he takes off his coat and drapes it around the back of the chair.

"I've wanted to do this since I saw you this afternoon," he wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me. I lace my hands around his neck pulling at my favorite curl there. He leans down to his new found spot on me and gives it a light kiss. I swear I feel something in my stomach and a little lower when the wetness of his lips touches my skin.

"I missed you at lunch today," I tell him as I run my hands down his chest.

"Me too. I'm the manager during the lunch hour and all the way into afternoon so I can teach in the morning, and then get back to coach wrestling after school."

"Good thing you didn't have wrestling today."

"No, not today. The next three days though I do. Friday and Saturday I have my art classes. Sunday I'm actually off."

"You're so busy, Peeta. I hope you'll have time to see me," I pout at him slightly. I've become better at this flirting thing somehow, I think. I attribute this to thinking about him all the time and getting pointers from Johanna on how to drive your man crazy without actually touching them.

"I'll always have time to see you," he leans his forehead down on mine and I stare into his eyes.

"Your eyes are incredibly beautiful, you know that?" I tell him as I pull gently at a curl.

"No, _your _eyes are incredibly beautiful." Peeta responds and kisses the tip of my nose.

Peeta and I stand there gazing at each other until I hear a knock at my bedroom door. Gale and Johanna must be back and I didn't even hear them come in.

"Come in," I say and I pull away from Peeta.

"Hey Johanna," I say to her and walk over to hug her.

"Hey, but don't hug me I need to shower and quick. Long story," then she heads to the bathroom.

Peeta and I leave the room, grabbing his coat on the way out. Gale shakes hands with Peeta and then he enters my room. He must be "helping" Johanna take a shower. They seem to get it going every chance they get.

I sit across from Peeta leaning against the back of the couch and he does the same. I reach for his hand and hold it, giving him a shy smile.

"What are we doing?" I ask a little while later.

"Hanging out," he replies.

"No, I mean _relationship_-wise. What arewe doing?"

"Being patient until the time I can ask you to be my girlfriend, and it's looking like sometime after graduation," he ribs.

"Alright."

"But I'm still yours," he says to me with a smoldering look.

"And I'm yours," smiling back to him.

Sometime later Peeta goes home, but not without kissing my forehead goodbye. After, I head back to in my room to finish my schoolwork. I knock on the door and I hear a "come in" in unison and then I find both Gale and Johanna on her bed. She's brushing out her hair and Gale is massaging her feet. Johanna looks at me guiltily and Gale's cheeks warm.

"He was helping me wash my hair," she blurts out and I just laugh.

"I'm not judging and I didn't ask," I chortle. I climb onto my bed and return to my homework but from the corner of my eye, I see Gale trying to let his hands roam up Johanna's leg. She's already sitting with just a robe on so I'm sure he's getting some sort of show. I laugh to myself at their attempt to be discreet.

For the rest of the week, I go through the motions of my classes and find myself eating alone at lunch each day. It's an unwelcomed experience to sit by myself during this time when I always had either Johanna or Peeta to join me. He sends me messages during the day that always have me smiling and I do the same. Friday approaches and I get a glimpse of Peeta with the other four students, including Clove, as they meet up at the front entrance to go to the art show. I smile at Peeta and he waves as I walk toward my bus.

Later that night, I receive a text from Peeta, asking if I wanted to have dinner with him. I agree and when he shows up, he has grocery bags.

"I thought you were bringing dinner?"

"I did, but we're going to make it." My eyes widen at the realization and I immediately get nervous.

"I don't really know how to cook. Johanna is the resident chef here and when she's not here, I eat a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." Peeta snorts and I take his coat to hang it up.

"Don't worry, it's an easy to follow recipe." Peeta walks into the kitchen and starts to put the ingredients on the counter. I see vegetables, dried plums, some sort of meat, seasonings, rice and chicken stock.

"What kind of meat is that?"

"Lamb."

"Are we making lamb stew?" I ask excitedly, jumping up and down.

"Yes we are," he grins mischievously.

Peeta gives me the duty of chopping up the lamb and veggies while he combines the seasonings. He puts the lamb in the wet mixture and then adds it to a pot to brown before removing it for the next step. He adds the veggies that I _expertly_ chopped. After letting it cook for a while, he adds chicken stock and the lamb, lets it boil, then simmer.

"So this will take about an hour before I can add in the plums. Why don't we sit on the couch for a little bit?" I make sure to secure the lid on the pot and then sit on the couch next to Peeta.

"Can I hold you?" Peeta asks and my cheeks warm. I eventually nod and he kicks off his shoes. He then lays one leg across the couch and the other on the floor. Peeta opens his arms and I gingerly sit on his lap. I pull up my legs and position my feet under his thigh. I lay my body against his, with my hand over his heart and the other wrapped around his waist. He mirrors that and then undoes my braid and laces his hand in my wavy hair. We adjust ourselves until he is leaning toward the back of the couch.

"I love having you in my arms like this. I feel like I'm protecting you from everything."

"You are. I feel safe like this." Peeta bows his head down and kisses me right between my eyes.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, and I feel my face grow warm. "I've wanted to tell you that for a while now."

"Thank you," I respond quietly and draw lazy circles on his chest. Peeta mimics that gesture on my lower back, and I close my eyes, giving in to his ministrations. After a little while, I find myself falling asleep in the comfort of his arms.

I wake up when the timer rings and stretch while I get a look at Peeta's face. His eyelashes are so blonde and curly, and his jaw looks strong, with light stubble on it. He is so manly yet boyish with the curls falling on his forehead. I push one fat one back and he stirs.

"Hi beautiful," he says stretching.

"Hi, just watching you sleep. I think I want to see more of that," I respond shyly, looking away.

Peeta tightens the hold on my waist and I turn to see him staring at me.

"Soon."

We go back into the kitchen and add the dried fruit, then retire back to the couch as we wait again.

"It smells amazing in here," I tell him.

"Yes, it reminds me of holidays with my grandparents. My grandma loved feeding us this, especially when it was cold."

"That sounds really nice. When we would go upstate to visit my grandparents, my dad would go hunt and we would eat whatever he brought back, usually deer or even rabbits and water fowl. I really miss those times."

Peeta looks at me and runs a hand across my cheek before kissing me there. "Don't worry, times like those will come again."

Peeta and I watch the news, while he checks on the stew every now and again. I watch him in the kitchen and he looks so professional lifting the lid and tasting it, and while finishing up the rice. Finally, the stew is ready and we spoon heaping spoonfuls of it over the rice and sit down on the couch to enjoy our first home cooked meal together.

"Not bad Peeta. We should do this more often."

"We will," he smiles in agreement. "Next time we'll make dessert."

"Sounds really good."

Johanna and Gale arrive home just as I'm seeing Peeta off. We each had two bowls of the stew and I pack away the rest for later. Peeta wouldn't take any home, citing he made it for me. With a promise to see me in the morning and a quick kiss on the cheek, he leaves my house and hops in his car. I stand there leaning against the door smiling, thinking about how happy I am and for so many reasons. He just made stew with me and already talked about us baking together. Our little dates are becoming so much more, and I can finally validate my feelings for him as being real, because honestly do you do these types of things with someone you're not ready to put in long haul for?


	19. Chapter 18

After my therapy session with Dr. Aurelius the next morning, I take the bus to the community college and meet up with Peeta at the entrance. I have my syllabus in hand, as well as a pad of paper and the digital camera I got for my birthday last year.

"Good afternoon, Katniss. I'm glad you made it."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Mellark." It's back to being professional, but it's hard to look at him the same way, when all I want is him to hold me with his strong warm arms again.

He smiles at me and we head inside the school. The building is on a large campus with landscaped grass and bushes. There are outside fixtures of abstract pieces of art made up of wood and rock that give the school a modern feel. The walls are different colors with little or no design. As we pass by the book store, I peek inside and see rows of books, and I can smell the brand new book smell. For some reason that excites me, and I start to look forward to coming here in a few months.

We go up a flight of stairs and find ourselves in the library.

"Just through here," Peeta points through conference room doors. I walk in and see about 25 pieces of artwork displayed on easels.

"Alright, so we'll just look at each piece and see how it makes us feel. Some of the artists are here so feel free to speak with them about their work." I nod at Peeta and begin to make my way around the room.

The first piece I look at is a painting of what looks like an arena. There are several people running around in the painting, some have weapons while others are unarmed. It's called "The Games We Play." After studying it for a minute, I realize that the artist is trying to say something about society and how we're all a part of some sort of game in order to survive. There is a huge shell-like structure that has food and resources inside of it and some people with arms are guarding it. There are individuals that are alone and look very sickly and skinny, while others have food and supplies. It's interesting how it is divided, those with weapons and manpower have everything while those that are on their own have close to nothing. The artist left a short essay explaining his or her painting and after reading it, it seems I understood the message the artist was trying convey.

The next painting is of a woman in a series of dresses, some which are colorful and others that resemble birds. It's called "Stages of a Woman." I perceive it to show how a girl becomes a woman, and the dresses she wear represent the different stages in her life; from the first dress that makes the girl look innocent, young, and naïve, to the dress that accentuates her womanly figure. The final dress seems to be her wedding dress, wherein the texture and silhouette matches the feathers of an elegant bird.

I introduce myself to the artist, a short woman with long curly brown hair. When I ask about her painting, I learn that she is studying fashion design, and she wanted to showcase how clothing changes for women as they mature into womanhood.

I continue walking around the room with Peeta, and I come across more paintings about everyday life and circumstances. The final painting we see is of a meadow, much like the one that is near our school and that one near my grandparent's house. The only difference is it's all in shades of blue and green; and it almost looks like it's night time, except there is no moon. There are yellow dandelions across the grass, and the tree has something hanging from it. At a closer look, I see that something is actually a person. It's a shocking visual, and when I glanced at the title, it's called "The Hanging." The description of the painting says that it is the artist's depiction of the death of his father, who had suffered through depression and alcoholism. I take a picture of this one and then tuck my camera back in my pocket.

After an hour of wandering around, I decide to take a seat in the corner and look over my notes on the paintings. Peeta runs into people he knows and strikes up a conversation with them, some of whom were in the intensive over the summer. This man is so charismatic and can get along with anyone. I suddenly start feeling self-conscious, and wonder if it will be a problem for him that I'm not very sociable. Since I've been getting better, I have only made two friends, him and Rue. When we finally can officially date, I wonder if he wants me to be always by his arm as he talks to people. I'm really not good at playing up to a crowd.

"Ready to have lunch?" Peeta asks, snapping me out of my deep thought.

"Sure, I'm starving." I gather my things and Peeta and I walk toward the cafeteria.

The food they have here is similar to what is served at school, but it looks like they have a real cook preparing it.

"So what did you think?" Peeta inquires before biting into his burger.

"Interesting start to this program."

"Did any piece speak to you in particular?"

"The Hanging" and the one about the Games were interesting. It's almost shocking seeing life depicted that way, but also sobering about being grateful for what one has."

"I agree," he nods, picking up a fry.

"I'm grateful," he whispers. "For you, for us."

"I am too," I smile.

After we finish our lunch, Peeta walks me outside and I notice Gale isn't waiting for me. I look at my cellphone and see there's a missed call from him, as well as a voicemail. I listen to the voicemail and learn that he had an emergency with his little sister, and he had to take her to the hospital. She had fallen off the top of her brother's bunk bed, but she is alright now. I send him a text wishing her well and then turn to Peeta.

"I don't have a ride home and the bus has a wacky schedule today."

"I can take you home, Katniss. I'm free for the rest of the day anyway, I'm not coaching on the weekends anymore."

"Alright."

When we arrive at my house, I invite Peeta in for some leftover lamb stew. My mother is sitting on the couch when we walk in, and I awkwardly introduce Peeta as my friend instead of my teacher. She smiles at him and shakes his hand. I go into the kitchen and take out the stew to heat it up.

"I'm warming stew, would you like some, mother?" I'm being polite because Peeta is here. Ordinarily, I would not have spoken to her since we still have a strained relationship.

"No, thank you. I'm about to head out anyway. Enjoy your lunch, dear. Nice meeting you Peeta." My mother disappears into her room and then a short time later, out the front door. I'm spooning the rice and stew when I feel Peeta come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist.

"I hate not being able to do this when I want to," he whispers into my hair.

"Me too," I reply, pushing the bowls back further on the counter and spinning around to him. I push a curl out of his eye and stare at his face.

"What?" He asks after a moment.

"Nothing, just admiring the symmetry of your face."

"Oh, really?" Peeta leans down to kiss my forehead. "Am I symmetrical?"

"Very," I answer.

We sit at the kitchen table and eat our stew, with our hands clasped together on the top of the table. Peeta takes our empty dishes when we're done, and I give Gale a call to check up on his sister. Johanna is over his house to stay with him and Posey. I offer to come over but he tells me it's alright and that I can stay home. He'll be by later to drop off Johanna.

Peeta and I head over to the couch and he pulls me onto his lap to hold me and a short time later I'm already asleep. Our Saturday afternoons continue on like this for the next couple of weeks or so, with him coming over Friday nights to cook or bake, and us having the leftovers the next day. Every time he holds me, I feel closer to him, and he is always gentle with me. Peeta runs his hands down my arm or back and he lulls me to sleep. After a short nap on the couch, we usually will watch something and then he goes home.

The first Saturday of February, he comes over after a gallery opening we attended. Johanna and Gale are on the couch, so I bring him back to my room after we had our lunch.

"Do you want to take a nap here?" I point to my bed. Peeta runs his hands through his hair and stares at me.

"Are you sure? I mean, are you ready to sleep next to me, in your bed?"

"It's fine. I know you won't try anything," I tease.

Peeta seems to always be cautious whenever our relationship changes its dynamics. When I started kissing him back two weeks ago, he nearly jumped. We were tightly wrapped around each other on the couch when I leaned up and kissed him on his jaw. I peppered light kisses there and after he let out a soft moan, his face stiffened. I told him that it wasn't fair he got to feel my skin against his lips and I didn't. He acquiesced, and I spent the next few minutes kissing him on his jaw until he was doing the same to me. Since then, I have been doing that whenever we're together.

I kick off my shoes and Peeta does also, and I sit on my bed. Peeta crawls on next to me and stares at me.

"Ready?" He asks, smiling shyly.

"Yes." I scoot down on my bed and lay down, and Peeta does the same. I lay on his chest and he wraps his arms around me. I bury my nose into him and I smell the cinnamon buns on him that we made last night while I run my hand up and down his chest.

"Are you comfortable?" He asks me a little while later. "It's warm in here and you still have your sweater on."

"I usually take it off," I whisper.

"Then take it off." I'm quiet for a long while, debating whether I should take it off and leave just the t-shirt I have on under it, thus revealing the scar on the length of my right arm. I haven't shown Peeta my scars as of yet and I'm not sure if I'm ready. After dealing with Cato and what he said, I'm really nervous to show them to anyone new. Rue saw them accidently when she came over a week ago, after I came out the bathroom without my sweater. She froze because she realized it before I did, and I nearly ran back into the bathroom before she blocked me. Rue told me it was okay with understanding in her eyes, and we sat down and talked about it. I don't know if I'm ready to show Peeta now though.

"It's okay, I'm fine." Peeta turns toward me and then pulls me into a seated position along with him.

"You don't have to hide from me, Katniss. You know I wouldn't judge you. I care about you far too much to let something like that bother me. You're beautiful Katniss, and I tell you that all the time. I'm sure your scars are as well."

"They're not," I adamantly say.

He lifts up my chin and stares at me with his eyes shining. "Please don't say that. I believe every part of you is beautiful, even the parts I don't get to see. It saddens me you don't see that."

"You're so emotional," I tell him but not in a way to make fun of him, but more of as an observation.

"Only with those I care about as deeply as I care about you." Peeta leans down and slowly kisses me on my sweet spot. I close my eyes and still my hand on his chest, slightly grabbing his shirt between my fingers. I nearly protest when he stops, and I open my eyes to his smiling face.

"Show me when you're ready okay? Just don't think you're not beautiful because of them." Peeta lies back down and I arrange myself on his chest again. He continues to run his hand down my back and up and down my arm until I nod off to sleep.

Come Monday, I return to school with what Peeta said weighing heavily on my mind. After we woke up from our nap, he kissed me and went home. I could see the worry in his eyes, but didn't say anything further than goodbye. When I walk into my homeroom and greet Ms. Trinkett, she gives me an awkward look.

"Katniss, your guidance counselor wants to see you." She hands me a slip of paper and I head to her office. I wonder what she wants from me. When I get there and take a seat outside of Ms. Everett's office, I hear voices coming out of the slightly cracked-open door.

"Peeta, this is a serious accusation and I'm sorry, but the school will have to investigate. You can continue your teaching, coaching, and extracurricular class, but all your students will have to be with you on Friday. Please go to the principal's office. They are waiting for you there."

I feel confused listening to half of the conversation. I then hear the door open widely and Peeta walks out. He sees me sitting there but his expression doesn't change. He looks worried and doesn't say anything to me as he turns around and heads toward the principal's office.

"Come in, Katniss," Ms. Everett invites and I step into her office. She closes the door and I sit down. "I've called you here today because there is something serious going on. Someone has put in an anonymous complaint about you and Mr. Mellark."

My stomach drops and I start to feel sweat forming on my forehead.

"What do you mean?" I ask feigning ignorance.

"Someone has complained that you and Mr. Mellark are having an improper relationship, and that may have been the reason you are in both the advanced art classes and in his after-school extracurricular activity."

"What?!" I question, my voice slightly rising. "I worked hard to get into those classes, and I do not understand their insinuation of me having an improper relationship with Mr. Mellark. He has been my friend since the summer, and our relationship hasn't gone beyond a teacher and student."

I know I'm sitting here lying through my teeth to Ms. Everett, but I have to protect Peeta. I don't want him to get in trouble for whatever is going on between us. I just wish I can hear what he's telling them, so that I can make sure our stories corroborate.

"I understand and assumed that. Sometimes we get these types of complaints, and according to policy we always have to investigate. Now I have to ask you some questions, and I apologize in advance if they make you feel uncomfortable."

My mouth grows dry because I don't know what kinds of questions she'll ask me, and I'm worried my face may give me away.

"Alright, first question. Has Mr. Mellark ever asked you to meet with him alone?"

I swallow hard and then answer, "Well, we've had lunch together, but that was something we did since the summer. My therapist recommended I get to know some new people, and Mr. Mellark was one of them, so I would spend some time having lunch with him."

"Was he ever improper during those times?"

"Never. We just ate lunch and talked about art. I also eventually confided in him about my accident."

"Okay," she says as she writes my answers down.

I keep my eyes down as she continues the questioning. They're all about what kinds of situations I've been in with Peeta and his behavior.

"Did he offer you a better grade in exchange for anything?"

"No."

"Has he ever touched you inappropriately?"

"No."

My eyes are beginning to water as she continues to question me. Who would tell them we're being inappropriate? And worse, did anyone actually see us doing anything? We've always been discreet when he comes to my house, and my driveway is blocked by trees on a dead end street. It wouldn't be possible for anyone to have seen him, unless they were on my property.

By the time she finishes questioning me, I begin to cry and she hands me a tissue.

"I'm sorry Katniss. I had to ask you these questions, but it seems like he's just been a good friend and teacher to you. I'll pass these along to the principal, and he'll want to speak to you as well. For the time being though, you'll have to go to the art program on Fridays with the rest of the class. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure," I croak out. I sit in Ms. Everett's office for a little while until I've stopped crying and my eyes appear less swollen.

I keep looking at my phone waiting for a text from Peeta but it doesn't come. After I leave her office, I pull out my phone and send a frantic text to Peeta, asking him what's going on. I walk to my next class and before I can go in, my phone buzzes.

_We can't talk like this anymore. With what's going on, it's not appropriate. From now on, while this investigation is undergoing, I can only see you on Fridays with the other students. I'm so sorry._

Peeta doesn't say anything more after that. I lean against the locker outside my class and just hold my phone tightly. I feel tears slide down my face and a sharp pain in my chest. I run away from my classroom and find myself in the restroom. I'm not sure how long I'm in there, but I see students shuffling every now and then and I assume I've missed my next class.

Finally, I leave the stall, head to my painting class and find my seat in the back. I fold my arms and lay my head on the table as the other students make their way in. I hear some whispering, and when I look up, I see Clove is staring at me and talking to someone sitting next to her.

"I knew it," she snickers. "She wouldn't be sitting there like that if nothing was going on. I can't believe it. She probably cheated on Cato with him."

She continues spouting lies about Peeta and me, and I even hear her call me a name. I ignore it and tuck my head back into my arms. When Mr. Cinna comes in, I sit up and I see Clove turning around just as I realize my face is wet. I must have been crying and hadn't noticed with everything else that's on my mind.

I zone out completely as I work on the latest project and nearly mess it up when Mr. Cinna comes over and stills my hand.

"Can I talk to you Katniss?" I stand up and follow him out into the hallway. "I'm sorry about what's happening with Mr. Mellark. I know you two are good friends."

"What are you talking about?" I respond evasively.

"Rumors spread fast in this school and I also was called down to the principal's office. You're a talented girl, so you don't have to worry about them thinking Mr. Mellark got you into this class unfairly. If you need the rest of the class time to collect your thoughts, I can excuse you to the library."

I nod my head and my face crinkles up a bit. Mr. Cinna pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket and I wipe my face.

"It'll be fine Katniss. Don't worry."

I go to the library for the remainder of the class, but not without looks from everyone, so I just shut myself out from world. I don't realize I've fallen asleep until I feel someone waking me up.

"Young lady, it's 5th period," The librarian says sternly. I slept through my lunch period and feel disorientated. I shake my head and smooth my hair back before gathering my bag and walking out. I'm so tempted to cut for the rest of the day, and I immediately text Gale about my situation. He offers to pick me up without question, and after warring in my head, I agree.

I wait in the main office for him as he has the ability to sign me out of school. It was one of the things my mother allowed him to do for me after she checked out on me. When he arrives, he signs the designated clipboard and walks me out to the car. I'm barely breathing by the time Gale straps me in and drives off to my house.

I lay in bed all afternoon crying into my pillow and softly calling out Peeta's name, hoping he'll appear out of my closet or at my front door. I feel so pathetic for falling apart only after less than a full day of being without him. What has he done to me?


	20. Chapter 19

The details of the complaint finally come out in my meeting with Principal Snow and Ms. Everett. They won't allow Peeta in on the meeting, and of course I'm not allowed in on the one he has with them. I haven't spoken to Peeta outside of his Friday art program, and it has been limited to asking instructions on what to do during whatever art show or place we are in. I've tried to ask Gale for an update but he doesn't have anything for me, so I've been sitting by my phone each night, hoping to get a text message or receive some kind of communication from him.

"It was brought to my attention that you were seen going into the back of the Mellark Bar and Grill with Mr. Mellark during the Halloween party they hosted for their grand opening, do you remember that?" The principal is an older gentleman with white hair, and the way he purses his lips when he speaks makes my skin crawl. He's almost like the creepy uncle your parent's never take you to see and you never want to go visit even when they try to.

"Yes," I answer.

"Why were you back there with him?"

"He showed me the ovens. He was giving me a tour of the new place. He had been talking about it during the summer, and when it finally happened, I asked to see them."

"Fair enough. He told us the same thing." Did they really expect me to say he took me back there to have his way with me? I won't mention being in his office, and the tour idea seems reasonable.

"On New Year's, a similar thing happened as well. Mr. Mellark told us he was giving you back something you had lost. A ring he said, a pearl one?" I had only showed Peeta the ring my mother gave me for my birthday once, and he thought it was beautiful. I never wore it and just kept in the box in the back of my side table drawer. I wonder why he said I had lost it, but I pay it no mind.

"Yes, one that used to belong to my mother. She gave it to me for my birthday, and I wore it to the restaurant and lost it. Mr. Mellark had remembered and he brought me back there to find it. He tried to talk to me in the dining area but it was too loud, so I had to follow him back there."

Principal Snow nods and continued, "It seems that he also broke up an argument you had with a boy a few months back during the Homecoming dance. He also gave a statement when you made a complaint against that boy, Cato Matthews, to the school?"

"Yes. Mr. Mellark was doing his rounds and he found Cato and I talking outside the gym."

"Interesting, it appears Mr. Mellark has taken a liking to you. The first two incidents took place outside of school and out of my jurisdiction, so I can't say much on that. I can say however that whatever happens in my school is my business. I know that you had a few lunches with him. Can you explain those to me?"

I gulp and recall Glimmer mocking me about those lunches, now I wonder if she is the anonymous tipper.

"Yes, we had lunch together, but it was part of my therapy. My therapist wanted me to have Mr. Mellark as a confidant to talk about what has been going on with me."

He nods again. "How have you been?" he inquires.

"Better. It helps to talk about it." It's not completely untrue that I've spent lunch periods talking with Peeta. It's actually been the best part of spending time with him, with hugging and kissing a close second.

"Right now, I don't want you having any lunches with him at school, but you can continue on in his art program on Fridays with the other students. You'll know my decision on this matter by the end of March."

It's nearly the end of February, and I still have to wait another month before I know if I can see him again. Going to school has become a chore and everything in my life has been affected. I'm starting to feel those old familiar pains I used to suffer through before my new medication, and it's all definitely due to the stress of the situation. I've gotten used to Peeta as my source of comfort, and now I have to try to get through nearly a month without him.

Johanna has started sleeping in my bed again, and when Gale stays over, he does too. They take turns holding me at night and wiping my tears away. I hate that I'm becoming so dependent on them again, but I don't know what else to do. My mother asks about Peeta one Saturday afternoon when she notices he's not there as usual, and I break down and tell her the truth about him.

"Wow, your teacher," she begins. "He should know better though, Katniss. I understand the affection and he seems like a nice young man, but he's your teacher. The relationship is improper." My mother lectures me as she prepares herself coffee and a sandwich.

"I wouldn't want him to get in trouble though, he seems to put a smile on your face that I haven't seen since your father and Prim were here." My mother adds and stares down into her coffee cup before speaking again. "You'll be okay, I'm sure of it," she determines and pats my arm before taking her lunch and getting up to go into her room.

Before I came home, I had an extra-long appointment with Dr. Aurelius to discuss how I'm dealing with what's currently going on. The school had called to tell him about Peeta, and he wanted to discuss it with me to make sure nothing improper was actually happening.

_"Hello Katniss," he greets me._

_"Hi." I sit down quietly. _

_"Ms. Everett called me and told me what is going on with Peeta. How are you dealing_

_with it? I know there's nothing going on inappropriately, but I do know he's been a good friend to you."_

_"That's a lie," I confess, looking down and holding back tears. I'm tired of the charade and I trust Dr. Aurelius. I can tell him the truth._

_"What's a lie? Your friendship? Has he..."_

_I cut him off. "We're being inappropriate. I care about him and he feels the same way about me. He's been to my house and we spend time together."_

_"Oh," Dr. Aurelius says. He pauses for a minute before he continues. "Katniss, let me remind you that our sessions are confidential, and unless he's hurting you I can't say a word. The relationship may be unconventional but you're 17. You're of sexual consent in this state."_

_"It's not about that." I correct him. "We haven't done that. He holds me, comforts me, and we talk, and make dinner and bake. He's a really good friend and its killing me I can't be with him now. I don't even know what's going through his head since I can't call or text him." Tears flow down my face and I start to shake. "I miss him so bad."_

_"I understand," he says and hands me a tissue to blow my nose. _

I continued on in that session discussing my relationship with Peeta. I emphasized that the relationship was going at my pace and that Peeta had not forced me to do anything that I wasn't ready to do. Dr. Aurelius refused to comment either way whether I should continue my relationship with Peeta, but he advised that I'd be careful with whatever I chose to do.

I'm consumed with sadness more than I have been in a while, but Dr. Aurelius would not change my medication. He concludes that once I find out what is going on with Peeta, I can finally process it and move on.

When I return to school the following week, I hear whispers behind my back. I see Glimmer approaching and she stops right in front of me, next to my locker. "So Cato wasn't good enough for you, so you got some order where he can't be near you and a teacher to make his life miserable? You probably fucked him during those 'lunches.' God, you're such a slut!"

She walks away before I can come up with response, but it doesn't matter anyway. Anything I would say to her can't make me feel any better. I miss Peeta and honestly I don't care about what Glimmer or the whole school may think about me and him. They don't know how I feel when I'm with him and how he, along with Gale and Johanna, taught me how to open myself up again after losing my family. I need him in my life, and it's coming to a point where I'll do anything to see him, even if it's only for a moment.

I have several nightmares over this period of time that I don't get to see Peeta. I wake up in cold sweats and often can't fall back to sleep. I try not to bother Johanna because I know how hard she works at the nursing home and she needs her rest. Gale, on the other hand, stays up and tries to talk with me to make me feel better. One night, we sat at the kitchen table eating cheese puffs from the Mellark Bakery. With every bite I tasted Peeta, and I would close my eyes hoping I'd get the batch he somehow baked, even though I know he hasn't been at the bakery since he's been managing the restaurant.

"Catnip, I'm going to lay back down. Will you be okay out here by yourself?" Gale asks as he stands up to leave.

"I'll be fine. I don't think I can sleep much, and my tossing and turning is waking up Johanna."

"Alright then, I'll see you in the morning."

Gale walks out of the kitchen and I pull my legs up into my chair. We've finished the latest box of cheese puffs and I simply stare at it. My mind starts swirling thoughts about Peeta and the last time he held me. He was always so impossibly warm and I just want to live inside of his skin. I would run my hands up and down his forearms and my fingers would be gently tickled by the blond curly hair. His fingers circling my lower back was always my favorite thing he did to me. Peeta is an expert in making me feel good, and he hasn't even taken my clothes off yet, or even suggested it. He was always the perfect gentleman, and now I don't even know what he's doing. Is he as miserable as I am? I can almost hear all the sweet words he would whisper to me while I fell asleep in his embrace. Beautiful, that was what he called me often as he stared into my eyes, and every time I melted.

I look down at my phone on the table and I decide to look through his previous text messages. This always made me happy, even back when I knew I was going to see him again.

_I miss you._

_I love holding you against my chest._

_Your hair always tickles my nose but I love the smell of it._

_Did you like it when I kissed your ears today?_

_I like when you kiss and nibble on my jaw._

Several texts over and over are about him telling me how I made him feel and me saying how he's made me feel. I miss him so much that without realizing it, I type out a text to him.

_I need you._

It's simple, but it's exactly how I feel at this moment. I need his words, his embrace, his kisses, his breath on my neck, his strong arms, and just…him. I lay my head down on the table after I push the send button, hoping they aren't monitoring his phone.

Johanna wakes me up the next morning, and somehow I fell asleep curled into this hard wooden chair next to the kitchen table. I'm aching completely all over my body, and I don't know how I'll make it to school in this condition. I walk slowly to the bathroom and take a shower, hoping it will ease the pain in my muscles. It doesn't.

Gale drives Johanna and me to school, and the entire time I keep my eyes on my phone. He didn't respond back to my text last night and I feel a lump in my throat. By the time I reach my lunch period, I'm feeling so achy and feverish that I excuse myself to go to the school nurse. She makes me lay down on the rubber mats they have for the students, and I curl into a ball while a white sheet covers me to my neck.

Gale picks me up sometime later and he brings me to the doctor, who decides to have me admitted. I'm diagnosed with the flu and along the other medical issues I have, the doctor wants to keep me under observation for a few days. Johanna and Gale visit me and tell me stories in attempts to cheer me up. They know between me trying to get better and missing Peeta, I'm a wreck. During my first night in the hospital bed, I stayed awake and drank sips of ice water under the watchful eye of a patient care technician. I was a little dehydrated, and besides giving me an IV drip, they wanted me to drink as much as possible. The second night, I find sleep but only at the end of a Benadryl capsule they gave me.

In the morning, I find a bouquet of fruit carved into flowers with a simple card that came with it:

_I need you too._

I'm released from the hospital and resting comfortably at home in my own bed. My mother comes to see me for the first time, even though I was staying at the hospital where she works. Another nurse told me she visited me each night, but it must have been while I was asleep. She sits on the edge of my bed and smooths my hair, trying to give me smile.

"You know I love you right?" She tells me, her voice broken from holding back tears. I nod.

"I do, sweetheart." My mother kisses my forehead and I close my eyes, trying to take in the affection she is giving me. Later on in the day, she brings me soup and attempts to engage in small talk with me. I appreciate her trying, and from the strained looks on her face, it must not be easy.

I return to school after having taken a week off from being hospitalized and home bound recovering from my illness. There aren't any whispers in the halls today, but at this point I really don't care. All I care about is that I learned Peeta needs me too; from what he sent to me at the hospital. I shared that fruit with Gale and Johanna and tucked the card away into my side table drawer.

While in the library, I check my school email and I see one from Peeta. I immediately click on it, but to my disappointment, it's just a group email for the students in his art program.

_Hello Students,_

_I have something special planned for you all this weekend. I want to invite you to come see my own personal gallery at my parent's house. We will meet this Saturday at 12pm at the address listed below. See you then!_

I save the address to my phone so that I can tell Gale where to drop me off later on. I leave the library when the bell rings for the next period and head to my next class. I have been hoping to hear from the principal today since it's the last week of March, but nothing is coming from his office. I have accepted the fact that whatever happens won't be in my favor.

It's Friday, so after school I go home expecting to watch a movie with Johanna and Gale. Instead, I'm met with a note that they are going to a birthday party for one of Johanna's coworkers at the nursing home. I decide to go to bed, not planning to do anything else.

I sleep through the whole night and I wake up sandwiched between my friends. I look over at the clock and it's seven in the morning. I start my day by showering and then making breakfast for Johanna and Gale. They come out of the room close to 10am, looking disheveled from sleep or sex or both, and I heat up the meal for them.

"What time do you need to leave?" Gale asks in between sips of his coffee.

"By 11. Peeta's family house is far from here, we'll need the time so I won't late."

"Alright."

Johanna decides to pass on driving with us and curls back into bed while I pile into Gale's car. The entire time I'm quiet, trying to prepare myself for seeing Peeta again. Gale doesn't pry and listens to the radio softly as he drives. When I arrive at the house, I see only Peeta's car in the driveway. I instruct Gale to drive closer to the garage, where Peeta told us his gallery will be in. I wave Gale goodbye and walk up to the small building.

"Hello?" I call out while knocking on the cracked door. I don't see anyone anywhere and I wonder if I got the address or meeting time wrong. I look at my email again and see that I'm in the correct place at the right time. I call out again and stand at the doorway. I assume the gallery must be behind this because all I see here are some chairs, a table, and a door on the back wall. I hear rustling of feet coming from above my head and I assume it's my classmates, but when the noise gets closer I see that it's not them.

It's Peeta.

He's standing there in just a tank top and pants, and with a smock covered in paint. It's also in his hair and on his face. He smiles widely when he sees me, and crosses the room in three long strides. He wraps his arms around me, rendering me stiff as we've never done this outside of my house or his office for fear of being caught.

"I've missed you," he says as he holds me closer. I reciprocate after I recover from my shock. He pulls back and gently runs a hand across on my cheek. Then, he leans in and presses his lips against mine.


	21. Chapter 20

"Peeta what are you doing?" I exclaim. I nearly jump back into the front door and I look anxiously around for my classmates.

"I'm sorry, I should explain. We're alone."

"What do you mean?"

Peeta lets out a shaky breath and then closes the space between us. He runs his hand down my hair and then my cheek.

"Everyone else came yesterday." My eyebrows narrow in confusion, and when he tries to kiss me again, I put my hand out on his chest and push myself away from him.

Peeta sighs and continues to explain, "I changed the day back to yesterday, but I think I forgot to add you onto the new email."

I stand there looking up at him in disbelief, "Are you serious?"

"Yes." We stand there looking at one another as I let this new information sink in.

"So we're alone?" I reaffirm. Peeta nods his head, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a half-smile.

I walk over toward him slowly until we're mere inches apart. I brush a paint-covered curl out of his eye and gaze at him. Peeta snakes his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I feel my heart pounding in my chest as he aims for my lips again and he slowly kisses me. My mouth parts as I gasp, and he lightly strokes his tongue against mine. My eyes close tightly and I fist his t-shirt to keep my balance.

"I missed you," he murmurs against my lips in between kisses. "I couldn't wait any longer to be alone with you and kiss you." I smile at his revelation and repeat the sentiment.

A little while later, my rational side of my brain kicks in and I immediately pull away from the kiss.

"What about school? The investigation?" I ask breathlessly.

"It's over," he nibbles my lips.

"How?" Peeta dips his head against my neck and plants kisses there. I grab onto him tighter and let out a quiet moan.

"Principal Snow called me yesterday and said the investigation was over. They didn't find that we were being inappropriate on school grounds."

"Wow," I pause. "He didn't say anything to me."

"He will most likely next week."

I'm shocked that the investigation is over, but I feel a sense of calm wash over me. I still wonder who reported us in the first place. The way Glimmer and Clove harassed me continue to haunt me, and the indifference in the few stares I caught from Cato were unnerving. I don't understand why he would want to be near me when he's obviously has moved on to Glimmer.

Peeta snaps me out of deep thought when he takes my coat off and hangs it on a chair in the corner of the room. He then walks me into his gallery, where my senses are delighted with the paintings all over the walls, and as well as on easels. I see a familiar painting of him and his brothers as boys and I go to it.

"This one is so beautiful," I tell him as I feel his arms encircle my waist.

"I painted this in 9th grade when my mother was digging up old pictures of us." He leans down and places kisses on my neck, rendering me speechless.

"As much as I want to show you around my gallery, I rather show you my studio first." I turn around to face Peeta and his eyes are trained on me intently. I pull him down into a sweet kiss before he leads me to the stairwell that goes to the roof.

It's a small enclosed room with shade-covered windows on each wall. There's lawn furniture; a loveseat and chair, and painting supplies are scattered around. On a low table in front of the loveseat are brushes and opened oil paints, as well as pads of paper and colored and lead pencils. One window has its shade up, and I can see the green from a few trees in his backyard. The air smells like paint and paper. In every corner, there is a tall green house plant with leaves that touch the floor.

"It's amazing up here," I say appreciatively. I walk toward the light green loveseat and sit down on it.

"Thank you. It's my creative sanctuary where I can relax and do my work. I've been here a lot lately though, but not creating."

"Doing what then?" My gaze follows him as he walks toward me and sits down next to me.

"Thinking about you. About us." Peeta cups my face again and leans in for a kiss. I almost get lost in the sensation when my rational side of my brain kicks in again.

"Peeta you're kissing me, now and back there," I finally bring up what concerned me the most since getting here.

"Guilty."

"You're not worried?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Peeta exhales, "I can't play this game anymore with you. It's not fair to us. These last weeks without you did something to me and I realized that I wanted to be with you. I fell apart without you and when you were hospitalized, it was just too much. I made a promise to myself that the next time I got the chance see you, I'd be honest with you."

I sit there looking up to him, and I feel the tears pricking my eyes. My emotions from his revelation that he's been feeling the same way as I have over the past weeks is overwhelming.

"I felt lost without you these past weeks," I begin. "I was a wreck and the thought of the school taking you away from me was just too much." The tears finally fall and I feel Peeta wrap his arms around me. He kisses my tears away and when no spot has been left untouched, he goes for my lips.

We're a tangle of mouths and arms as I snake mine around his neck to pull at his curls and his arms are around my waist pulling me closer to him. I land on his lap, straddling him, and move my hips slowly as he trails kisses from my mouth to the sweet spot on my neck. The sensation of finally having his lips on me is just too much.

"Touch me," I gasp as he gently bites my neck. I feel his fingers graze at the hem of my shirt, rubbing the exposed skin gently. I pull back and look up into his blue eyes. They are glistening with desire and adoration for me. Slowly, I untangle my hands from around his neck and place one on my shoulder to pull my arm out of my sweater. I repeat this action with other arm and drop my sweater onto the floor. Now only in my tank top, I've exposed my scars to Peeta for the first time. He lifts his hand and gently lands it on my shoulder, watching me as he explores my scars. Peeta is reverent in his movements as he caresses his fingers down the length of my arm. Soon he replaces them with his lips, planting small kisses along the way. When he reaches my wrist, he lifts it to kiss the underside and the tears fall again.

"Why are you crying?" he asks, furrowing his brows.

"The way you're looking at me, at my scars."

"They're beautiful. You're beautiful." I duck my head down and Peeta places a hand under my chin. "I adore you Katniss, everything about you. From the moment I saw your painting last year, I started to fall for you. When I got to know you over the summer, it all changed for me. I didn't understand my feelings at first, how could I be attracted to a student? But you were just so different. You had a story to tell, and you did so little by little, through your art and when we talked. I felt connected to you and my feelings grew stronger as we grew closer. When the school tried to take that from me, it made me realize what I had in front of me. Katniss, I'm serious when I say that I want to be with you."

"I want to be with you too, Peeta." We resume our kiss and Peeta hands are gentle as they roam all over my body. His fingers slightly tickle me under my shirt, while his mouth nips my neck and my collar bone.

As we continue to kiss, Peeta lays me down on the couch and we face one another. He runs his hand up and down my scarred arm and my skin feels like it's on fire from his touch.

"Peeta," I sigh, "I can't believe this; that we're here like this."

"It was inevitable," Peeta smiles.

"That line," I laugh softly, "Does it even exist anymore?"

"That was silly of us to think that we could restrict ourselves with a line."

"Why do you say that?" I question.

"We crossed the line the moment we started having feelings for each other," he elaborates. "The moment I went to your house, bought you food and held you in my arms; that started it. I already knew I cared about you, but on that day I realized my feelings were different."

"I think that was when I started falling for you as well. The feeling of your strong arms around me like that was so comforting to me."

"Yes, I love having you in my arms. But you know that," he says leaning over to capture my lips. "And when I began to kiss you and became more affectionate, I knew the road I was heading down."

"When you first kissed me on my forehead, I can't describe how that made me feel," I reveal.

"I think I needed to feel your skin against my lips, it is so smooth and soft," then he leans down to kiss my forehead.

"I especially loved it when you kissed me here," I point to that sweet spot on my neck.

"That was my favorite spot until I kissed your lips."

"I also love it when you haven't shaved for a day or two and your stubble grows in. It tickles me when I kiss your jawline and it just feels so masculine."

"I'm glad you like it," he smiles. "I like the fact that you are comfortable enough with me to show me this," he says, continuing to strum his fingers up and down my arm.

"I trust you, Peeta." He smiles widely at me and we're kissing again. It's deep and passionate as he tells me everything I needed to hear these past months from him through his kiss. He whispers more sweet words in my ear in between kisses and he gently tickles my sides.

"Ugh, I wish I could freeze this moment and live in it forever," he tells me as he pulls my body closer to his.

"Me too."

Peeta's gentle ministrations on my back and arm eventually lull me to sleep. When I wake up, the room is dimmer as the sun has already started to set. I look up to Peeta and his eyes are shut tight as he breathes deeply. I can get use to waking up to his face. I trace circles across his chest and play with the little hairs that are peaking out through the top of his shirt. When he stirs, a smile crosses his face before his eyes open.

"Hey," he says looking down to me, running his hand through my hair. I pick at the tiny splash of green paint on his face and he smiles, bringing my hand to his lips.

"The next few weeks are going to be difficult," I begin.

"I know. I'll protect you, so don't worry." I caress his arm.

"Katniss, can I ask you something?" I look at him expectantly and nod my head, threading my other hand through his loose curls.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

Later on we order some food from his family's restaurant and after the food comes, we settle back on the couch in his studio. Peeta is spooning me, and I can feel his warm breath in the back of my head and down my neck.

"Do you see this orange?" Peeta momentarily lifts his hand and points out toward the window.

"Yes."

"That's my favorite color."

"Mine is green, like the meadow."

"That's a beautiful color."

After a few moments, Peeta stops his ministrations on my arm and quietly asks, "Can I paint you Katniss?"

I turn over to face him and nod my head.

I sit up against the couch, and Peeta positions himself on a chair in front of me and next to an easel and canvas. He begins mixing some colors together and then applying them to the canvas. He directs me how to position my hair and arms. After a half hour, I need to take a break, so I stand up and stretch while Peeta keeps on painting. I walk around the canvas to see his progress.

"That's coming out really well," I admire.

"Thank you. You don't have to sit down again if you don't want to. I have the image committed to memory, it's how I paint and draw most of my work."

"That's an awesome ability."

"Thank you. It's how I was able to capture so many of the paintings I have downstairs and my drawings. See that book over on the coffee table? Why don't you look at it?"

I pull the sketch book from the coffee table and sit down on the couch to take a look at it. I open it and the first page is a sketch of me. It's a simple drawing of me in the back of the art room painting. I look up to Peeta and smile, and he returns it.

"They're all me," I conclude as I continue to flip through the pages.

"Yes, it's my Katniss book. I work on that book almost daily, but that last month you weren't here; I did a few drawings a day."

"It's almost full."

"Yes. I have a few more but they're at my apartment. This is just the latest one."

"It's beautiful, and not creepy at all," I tease. I walk over to Peeta and lean my upper body on his shoulders. I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss his nape lightly.

"Thank you, Peeta. I feel really special looking through that book."

"It's because you are special. You're special to me."

Peeta has finished most of my portrait before stopping for the day. I find myself wrapped in him again, dreading the moment I'll have to leave. I've already sent Gale a text message to pick me up by 7pm, and it's 6:30pm now.

"I wish I didn't have to go," I tell Peeta, nuzzling into his chest.

"Me too. But we'll have time together. We'll have to plan a day to just spend the whole day together. Outside of Fridays, I won't be able to see you during the week."

"How about on Sundays?"

"Alright," he says. "Can we start tomorrow?" I laugh at his eagerness and lean in to kiss him again.

By the time I'm inside Gale's car, my face is completely flushed from the intensity of the last 15 minutes of kissing him before Gale arrived.

"Had a good time, Catnip?" He asks, turning down the radio.

"It was great," I say almost breathlessly.

"So are you going to fill me into why I only saw you and Mellark?"

I tell Gale the details and rehash them to Johanna once we get home. She looks shocked, but also happy that we've finally made it official, and we can now stop dancing around on what we really want. Gale is smirking at me and something tells me he knew all along.

"You knew, didn't you?" I ask him and he just remains to be nonchalant next to Johanna.

"I knew he wanted me to get you to his parent's house today, but I didn't know what he had planned." I laugh at him because now he looks guilty, and Johanna playfully punches him for not letting her in on the secret.

Later that night, I retire to my bed alone, while Johanna and Gale spend the night at his house. I exchange texts with Peeta the entire night, too excited to fall asleep thinking about what we'll be doing tomorrow, our one day of spending time together. I wake the next morning happy and refreshed, knowing that at least this one part of my life is somewhat settled.

Gale drops me off around 10am at Peeta's family's house again, and he greets me at the door with a hug and deep kiss.

"I missed you," he greets.

"It was only one night," I josh.

"True, but I never want to let you go again."

We spend this Sunday much like the rest of the Sundays in April; in his studio, in the backyard, or in the meadow on his property. We have picnics that last until the sun is down, and we wrap ourselves in blankets during the nights that are really chilly. Best of all, we kiss and explore each other. Peeta is the first guy I've dated who I wanted to touch me. My shyness has gone away, and I almost always expect his hands to be on me whenever we are together.

Our relationship is still under wraps, his parents know about us spending time together but neither comment, though I know his father is alright with us. We keep everything professional when I see him either in school or on our field trips, and so far no one has questioned us. It seems easier now to shift my focus away from him in school because I know when Sunday comes around, I'll be with him again and I can express everything I feel about him on that day.

Glimmer and Clove still give me looks and say things when they pass me in the halls, but I just ignore them. I'm too happy to care about them and that's the only thing important to me right now. Surprisingly Cato approaches me at my locker one day, but before I can shoot him down, he begs me to let him speak.

"I know I'm not supposed to be here but I need to say something to you." I stand there with my arms folded and force myself to listen to what he has to say.

"Alright, you have two minutes."

Cato sucks a breath in and begins, "I want to apologize for what happened in the fall. I know I was an asshole and there is no excuse for my behavior. I did care about you but I let others influence my actions, which wasn't cool. I'm really sorry."

I don't respond and just stare blankly at him.

"Secondly, I know who reported you to the principal about Mr. Mellark," he says with his voice lowering. "I made them go back to Principal Snow and retract their statement. They were mad at what happened to me, and jealous of the attention Mr. Mellark gives you. I'm not going to comment on what I think of whatever you two have going on because it's none of my business. But I know he is a good friend to you, and I'm sorry if that person's actions took him away from you. I know you've been dealing with a lot after your accident and you needed someone there for you. I'm sorry that someone couldn't be me, and that I let other people get the best of me."

I stand there looking at him and he seems sincere. I close my locker before turning back to him and simply say, "Okay."

I then walk off to my next class. This is definitely something I need to discuss with Peeta this weekend.


	22. Chapter 21

"Why do you think Cato came up to me?" I ask Peeta. I'm lying down on his lap and one of his hands is under the hem of my shirt drawing patterns on my stomach while his other hand is smoothing out my hair across his thigh. It's Sunday, and the weather can't be more perfect for us to lie on a blanket in his backyard.

"Guilt, I guess. After the whole incident, he must have apologized to me a million times. I think he was afraid I wouldn't give him a recommendation letter, but it was too late. I was already disgusted with his behavior. Not just because he hurt you, but because I expect my athletes to behave at a certain standard. It's a privilege to walk around school with a letterman's jacket, and I felt he lost that privilege after what he did to you. I couldn't let that go, so I withheld the letter from him and gave it to another deserving student."

"He was crushed by that, you know. And so was Glimmer."

"Well then next time, he'll know better. He barely got one from one of the other coaches after I told them about the incident, but the head coach gave him one at the last minute. That was the only blemish on his record, the head coach reasoned, even if he was suspended. That should have count for much more in my opinion, but I couldn't say much since I'm not the head coach."

"I appreciate that, Peeta. I guess that's why he always looked scared when he saw me. He didn't want you to do anything else to him."

"Oh I did plenty, between the letter and working him hard. He got the point at the end, I think. I guess he now just wants to make amends with you." Peeta wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me up until I'm seated on his lap. He resumes drawing circles on my abdomen and makes me chuckle when his finger dips into my belly button.

"No one messes with my baby," he grins and leans in to kiss me, nipping at my bottom lip.

Peeta has adopted many pet names for me, ranging from "baby" to "kitty kat", and they admittedly make me smile. I haven't come up with a pet name from him, but I guess "baby" will do for now. I relaxed right into my relationship with Peeta, and those who are close to me have noticed a difference in my demeanor. I can say that I am happier than I've been in a long time. For once, I don't feel like the third wheel or a burden. As much as Johanna and Gale tell me I'm not, I struggled with my emotions whenever they had to help me. I still have my days when I am not feeling well, but I usually manage through them by myself or with Peeta. He somehow instinctively knows when I am having a stressful week and he takes extra care of me. It surprises me how in-tuned he is with my moods and emotions, at least in the beginning. I later on discovered how emotional he can get himself.

Peeta is what you can call a sensitive guy. I don't know how he managed to become a wrestler with all those overly aggressive guys in high school, but he informed me there weren't many emotions he hasn't had while on the mat. He was always courageous, determined, intense and humble whenever he won. If he ever became too overwhelmed and needed to express those emotions, he did it in front of his brothers and parents, or with his serious girlfriend he had back then. I guess I really am special, since he has cried in front of me even before we kissed.

"So, do you want to work on your final project today?" Peeta asks me casually, but all I can feel is his hand moving dangerous close to the waistband of my pants. I hold my breath when his pinky slightly dips in, but it doesn't stay there for long. He almost immediately brushes his hand up on my side, stopping it just underneath my bra.

Since the month of May starts next week, the class with Peeta is over and we now have the next four weeks to just work on our final projects. The week leading up to the Prom will be the art show, and then my senior year is over. Graduation is the Sunday after prom. Johanna will be having an additional ceremony on that Saturday for the Nursing Assistant Program.

"Sure, I'm still trying to come up with a concept though." I have mulled it over for a few weeks now on what should I do for my final project. I tried to remember all of the different places we went this semester - the museums, the gallery openings, the art shows - and so far nothing has inspired me to come up with good ideas, even Peeta's work.

Well, perhaps not his work, but he does. He inspires me all the time with the kind of person he is. He's so active in our community. And he cares deeply about his friends, family, including me. He cares so fiercely that he will do anything for us.

I imagine all of the times we've spent in his studio, just laying down and silently gazing at each other. My favorite moment would have to be one of our first kisses. Not exactly our very first kiss when I first stepped in his gallery, but our first real kiss while were sitting on his couch in his studio and with me wrapped in his arms. I felt emotions I have never felt before, and I can't help but realize how hard I'm falling for him. I can feel I already love him, and I start saying it, but only to myself. I wouldn't know where to begin to tell him how I feel, but I guess the right time will just present itself.

We decide to head up to his studio, making sure to take the picnic basket and blanket inside with us. Peeta is still putting the finishing touches on the painting of me he started about a month ago, and it makes me blush every time I see it. I look so beautiful in his painting, and he says it's how he sees me. I sit down on the couch and pull out a notebook from inside my bag. I begin writing ideas down for my final project when Peeta sits down behind me. He positions me between his legs and pulls me closer to his chest as he wraps his arms around me.

"What do you have so far?" He asks and begins to kiss the back of my neck lightly.

"Vantage points," I answer as I feel him nibbling on my neck. He knows how much I love it when he does this, and I can't focus on anything else except for the feeling of his hot breath and the nipping of his teeth on my skin.

"Peeta," I whine, "You know what this does to me."

"Oh I know," he says seductively. It was very interesting to see Peeta become more affectionate with me as we grew closer in our relationship, and I would never have thought early on that he is the demonstrative type. Johanna of course has taken a keen interest in the things he says to me, and she loves to say how much a turn on it is for my boyfriend to initiate dirty talk, which is what I think Peeta seems to be starting with me now. I still blush profusely when I talk about Peeta with her, but I'm also grateful I have her in my life to have these kinds of conversations with.

"Peeta, I can't work with you eating me up like that," I feign complaining, and I feel his arms tightening around me in response.

"That would be nice," he murmurs quietly against my neck, but I still catch what he said, and I feel warmth spread but not just on my face. I set down my writing pad and turn around to face him, my hands now on his chest and his arms still wrapped around my waist. He simply smirks at me as I start running my fingers on his arms.

"30 minutes and then I have to start my project, okay?" Peeta smiles wider, knowing I'm giving in, if only for a little while. I lean in to kiss Peeta and eventually straddle him. I love being able to tower over him as I kiss him when I'm sitting on his lap. Peeta runs his hands up and down my thighs and stops them right under my bottom, and then pulls me closer to him. A moment later, Peeta is picking me up and laying me down on the couch. He gets eager and demanding sometimes, and I can't deny I enjoy that.

Peeta continues to kiss me, and every so often he trails his lips on my jaw and my neck, which is now fully arched and exposed to his ministrations. I feel his hands caress my waist, then move on my stomach, and eventually tracing the seam of my bra lightly. The anticipation of Peeta touching my breasts at some point is nerve-wracking, but it hasn't gotten to the point of me wanting to rip my shirt off -yet, so I just let him tease me a little bit more.

I close my eyes and enjoy the movements of his hands and mouth on me. I feel him move away from my neck and slowly descend down my body. I open my eyes just as he partially lifts up my shirt and starts placing kisses on my stomach. My scar there is still a little sensitive, and he always carefully lavishes it with sweet kisses. I close my eyes again as he darts his tongue out and dips it into my belly button. He has done this before, and his actions never fail to leave me grasping for his curly locks.

"Mm..." I moan as his tongue circles my belly button and he uses his teeth to playfully nip at my skin, making me arch my body off the couch. This is incredibly arousing, the feelings he brings out of me with just his mouth. It makes me think of other things he may do to me in the future.

After we collect ourselves and I re-braid my hair, we're back to sitting in the same position and resume making my list of possible things to capture.

"You're doing vantage points, right?" Peeta asks.

"Yes."

"Based on what?"

"One of our kisses." Peeta raises his eyebrows to my response and smiles.

"Alright, so let me sit over here," he moves to sit himself on the other end of the couch. "You come here," he points to his lap, "and sit like how you were when we kissed the first day I brought you up here. Then turn around and take notes on what you're seeing."

I do as Peeta suggests and straddle his lap.

"Now what do you see?"

"The back of the couch, the house plant in the corner with the door, the green through the window," I start listing as I swivel on his legs.

"More window green and house plants in the corner, your easel, your art supplies, the side chair, and finally, you again," I add.

"Well, pick one of those," he suggests.

"You didn't bring the other students up here, did you?" I suddenly question him, prompted by the desire for my painting to be intimate and something I only experienced with Peeta.

"No, you're the only one," he says smiling and pulling on my braid.

"Alright, it will be one of those then." I return his smile.

After much contemplation, I decide to draw the vantage point where I can see the green of his backyard and part of the meadow. I make the backdrop to be of the setting sun, combining it with what I saw when we kissed and when we woke up from our nap that day.

I work on this project during the week, transferring the drawing onto a canvas in the school's art studio. Not only are we featuring our final project piece in the art show, but we can also include some of pieces from the last semester and the previous year. I'm extremely anxious thinking about displaying my art for everyone to see, especially when at the beginning I didn't think my work was making any impression at all. I think back to when I first met Peeta and the words he said me about my art. It's almost unbelievable to think that he started to become interested in me after looking at my painting of a red barn and a meadow. He saw something in my work that I didn't see, and I hope I can also convey that now in this painting.

The weeks leading up to the art show go by faster than I expected, mainly because I would start each week waiting for Sunday to see Peeta. We maintained our distance at school, I didn't even peek into his classroom when I passed by it. I couldn't afford for anyone to think that we're together now, after all that's happened. Sometimes I think about how hard it will be after I graduate and we make our relationship public, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when we get there.

xx

Today is the art show, but you wouldn't think so with all the hype surrounding this year's senior prom. Johanna is going with Gale and they're dragging me along, since I can't really go with the one person I would like to. Peeta will be on his chaperoning duties as usual, and I think the only way I'll be able to talk to him on that night is through texting. It will have to do until I can be alone with him. He has planned an after party for the two of us and I can't wait to see what he has in store for us.

The art show is running all week in the library's multi-purpose room. Due to space constraints, it was decided that each one of us will display three of our own works. I've picked the painting with the red barn and meadow, the drawing of Prim I did over the summer, and finally my most recent painting I named "Beginnings." I get a few stares from the other students when they approach my latest work. It just looks like a painting of a room with the sun shining through the window, but it means something more to me and Peeta.

My other classmates also display their works, and I notice most of their final pieces are related to something we saw during one of our field trips. Clove displayed two of her works from last semester; a detailed painting of her dog that passed away due to old age, and a painting of her knife collection. Her dad is also a hunter like my dad was, and last year he started teaching her how to use knives after taking an animal down. Clove's final project seems to be inspired by the land surrounding the community college. I really like her work, but I can't get pass that she's such a bitch for unnecessary reasons.

Thursday is the final night of the art show, and when family and friends are invited to look at our work. It is followed by a light reception in the cafeteria. Johanna and Gale show up and stand next to me and my works. Johanna is feeling nervous since her Nursing Assistant graduation is this Saturday, followed by both our high school graduations this Sunday. I'm not particularly nervous about finally ending my senior year with all that I've been through; I'm looking forward to the summer. Mr. Cinna, along with a representative from the YMCA, has offered me a teacher's assistant position for this year's Summer Intensive. That is going to be my first job and I'm excited for the opportunity.

"Hello, Katniss," I look up and see my most unexpected guest of the evening; my mother.

"Mom," I cry in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

She purses her lips and grips her handbag tighter. "Dr. Aurelius called me and told me about this art show. I thought it was important for me to come; for the both of us."

My mother has been having phone sessions with Dr. Aurelius a few times a month, in an effort to continue healing our relationship and for herself. Still in shock by her presence, I simply watch her eyes rove over my artwork, and finally settle on the drawing of Prim.

"She's so beautiful," my mother remarks, bringing her fingers up to her mouth. I instinctively make a move to stand next to her and wrap an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I haven't been showing an interest in your art. You have real talent here, Katniss."

"Thank you, mom," I respond gratefully, with Johanna and Gale quietly looking on.

"I should have told you this before, but your dad was quite the artist in high school. It seems you have inherited his talent," my mother reveals and tries to stifle the emotions welling in her throat.

"Really? Do you have anything of his?"

"It was a long time ago, I'm sorry. He didn't do much after we graduated, but I remember we were in an art class together and he was really good." I turn to face my mother and give her a small smile, to which she returns, accompanied with tears running down her cheeks.

"Thanks for coming, mom," I tell her and she pulls me into an embrace.

"You're wonderful Katniss, I'm sorry I don't tell you that enough."

My mother and I remain standing in front of the drawing of Prim, my arm now wrapped around hers as we lean onto each other. I didn't expect that this was how my night would end, with my mother and I making another step toward mending our relationship.

Johanna stays over Gale's house to give my mother and I some much needed alone time together. We picked up some fare from the Mellark bakery, and we enjoy eating them over large cups of tea. My mother is smiling and telling me stories about my father when they were my age, and I can't help but smile and tear up. I didn't realize how much I missed my mother's company and how the strain of our relationship has been taking a toll on me for almost two years.

Later that night, she tucks me in and kisses my forehead. For once, I feel like things are somehow getting back to normal. Before I close my eyes, I check my phone and see a few texts from Peeta. He congratulates me on the art show and asks about my mother. I tell him about us slowly mending our relationship and that I look forward to seeing him tomorrow night at the prom. He sends me a smiley face and a message:

_Good night, my love. Sweet dreams and I'll see you tomorrow._

I feel goose bumps rise on my skin while thinking of him saying these words to me in person. He has never called me his love before, and I start to think he might be close to telling me those three little words…I know they've also been on the tip of my tongue for a while now.


	23. Chapter 22

**Rated M scenes ahead ;)**

* * *

The theme for this year's prom is "Reach for the Stars," so Johanna decided we should have sparkly gowns. After hitting up several stores, we finally located two gowns that we loved on us. I picked a cream-colored strapless gown that has a fitted bodice and a flowy ruffled skirt. It is covered in tiny rhinestones in an intricate pattern, giving it a soft glittery appearance. I also put on a cover up shawl to keep my shoulder and my arms from getting exposed. Johanna chose a silver sequined tube-top dress with a layered pink chiffon skirt that gives it a long- and short-layered effect. We opted to get similar silver glittery shoes and accessorized with crystal jewelry. With my mother's encouragement, I also decided to wear the pearl ring she gave me for my birthday this year.

Gale wears a black suit with a bow tie and corsage to match Johanna's dress. My mother takes pictures of them by our mantle. A little while later, Peeta shows up to also take pictures with us before he heads to the school for his chaperoning duties at the prom. He's wearing a black suit with a cream-colored bow tie and corsage, making us also match, albeit subtly. He greets me with a small chaste kiss while my mother and friends are looking on.

"You look beautiful," he whispers in my ear.

"Thank you," I blush.

We take some more pictures together, and then I walk him to his car. He leans down and kisses me again, a little deeper this time, then jumps into his car.

"Remember to bring your bag. I'll see you later," he reminds me before pulling out of my driveway.

Two weeks ago, Peeta asked me if I wanted to have our own after-party, since we can't exactly be together during the actual prom. Of course when I told Johanna, she insisted on giving me the sex talk. I assured her we weren't quite there yet, but she locked me in my room anyway and went on for an hour or so lecturing me and giving me stuff to use for precaution.

I get into the back seat of Gale's car, tucking in my shoes and grabbing the train of my long gown. My hair has grown considerably longer since last year, so I had it arranged in an up do of elaborate braids. Johanna has long curls cascading down her back, with two crystal combs adorned in it on one side. I glanced at her and Gale's intertwined hands and I think about what Peeta has planned for us after the prom. I know it is a tradition, an expectation really, to have sex on prom night, but I don't think that is happening for us tonight. We've just gotten into a comfortable rhythm in our physical relationship, and I assume Peeta would have wanted us to talk about it first before we went any further. I would have brought it up myself if I thought I was ready, but I know I'm not.

When we arrive, I see many students getting out of their limos, while some are being dropped off by their parents. As I walk behind Gale and Johanna, I see their arms wrapped around each other and suddenly I miss Peeta.

Inside, the gymnasium is decorated with crystal sculptures and elegantly designed stars mobiles are hanging from the ceiling. The lights are dimmed low and a strobe light is producing twinkling star-shaped patterns on the dance floor. Tables are arranged close to the perimeters of the gymnasium and each has crystal stars as a center piece.

Johanna and I take a seat at a table closest to the dance floor while Gale picks up drinks for us. I immediately scan the room for Peeta in the meantime. I spot a group of chaperones near the buffet table, probably to make sure the punch doesn't get spiked, but no Peeta. I crane my neck and find him soon after, talking jovially with another group of the chaperones in one corner across the gym. I decide to send him a text to let him know I'm here.

_I see you._

No more than five minutes later, I feel my phone vibrate with Peeta's reply.

_I see you too and you look beautiful._

I blush at his words and turn my head over my shoulder, trying to stealthy turn my gaze at his direction. I catch him staring at me and a smile forms on his face.

_Thank you._ I text him back.

_You have no idea how hard it's going to be to stay away from you all night, but it'll make later on that more special._

I smile at myself and immediately respond. _I bet._

Johanna and Gale wind up on the dance floor while I remain in my seat and watch them with a smile on my face. They look so in love, and it makes me incredibly glad that they are finally together after these messy past couple of years.

I also spot Cato in the crowd with Glimmer, but I'm grateful she hasn't paid any attention to me. I like to think that since the year is practically over, she has lost interest in harassing me. I also have shown that her actions don't bother me anymore, so that probably also took away the fun of it for her. Clove is also with them and her boyfriend, Marvel, the same boy who Johanna punched when we were in elementary school. I spend the time looking through the crowd of students, occasionally spotting Peeta, who I often catch also looking back at me.

We continue to send each other text messages throughout the night, and I laugh to myself with some of our exchanges.

_That dancing is awful!_

_Why don't you come on the dance floor and show them how it's done?_

_No thanks, my seat is nice and warm._

_Don't worry Katniss, I'll get you out of your seat soon._

The night eventually winds down and students have started to leave to head to their after parties. Gale informs me that they're also ready to head out and get on with their own plans for the night. He and Johanna are spending the night at a bed and breakfast in the city, where they'll be treated to a couple's massage, along with sharing sparkling cider and strawberries. It's a special prom package the bed and breakfast holds each year for couples that are of legal age. They want to accommodate couples wanting to be together after prom, and they have no problem hosting them as long as both are at least 18.

It's not a big deal that we're missing the crowning of the king and queen, which will definitely be Cato and Glimmer; no surprise there. We're not one for popularity contests anyway. I send Peeta a text informing him that Gale is about to drop me off at his studio and I will be in there waiting for him. He gave me a copy of his key earlier, so we would not have to leave the prom at the same time and raise any suspicion.

When I enter Peeta's studio, I immediately climb up the stairs into his studio and sit down on his couch. I entertain myself with a game on my phone while I wait for him to show up. When I hear a car pull up, I immediately make my way back down his gallery and greet Peeta as he walks through the door.

"That was fast," I remark.

"I told my colleagues I had somewhere to be with my girlfriend."

"Did you really say it like that?" I ask as he walks closer to me.

"Just like that," he wraps his arms around me and captures my lips. "You look so beautiful, Katniss. I could only focus on you the entire night and that made it very difficult to do my job," he says in between nibbling the bottom of my lip. "I just wanted to be near my girlfriend."

"Now you are," I begin to run my hand through his hair, loosening his curls from the product he used to smooth them back.

"Well then, before we go any further, I want to dance with you," Peeta responds.

"Dance?" I ask smiling widely.

"Of course. It _is _prom, you know." Peeta chuckles and grabs the radio sitting on a small table with one hand. "But I want to go outside and dance under the stars with you."

He stretches his other hand out to me and I take it. He then leads me out the back door and into his backyard. I see a small square of hardwood floor on top of the grass and a table next to it, where he sets down the radio. He plugs his iPhone into it and picks a song.

He takes my hand again and brings me to the middle of his makeshift dance floor.

He then bows down to me and asks, "May I have this dance?"

"Yes, baby." I answer sweetly, and he kisses me softly. He places his hands around my waist and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"This song reminds me of you," he tells me in a low voice as the sound of a male singer begins to sing.

_If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?_

_If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?_

_If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?_

_If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?_

We sway to the beat of the song, and I begin to hear Peeta singing the song back to me. I look up and his eyes shine with unshed tears.

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

Peeta presses small kisses on my lips while one of hands runs tiny circles on the small of my back.

_And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

_And I wish that you could be the one I die with_

_And I pray in you're the one I build my home with_

_I hope I love you all my life_

I'm caught up with the lyrics of the song, they are so beautiful. A shiver runs down my back as I feel Peeta put his lips next to my ear. He then whispers gently, "I love you, Katniss."

I suddenly look up to face him and see his eyes are even glassier. I feel my own tears fill up my eyes, and the three words I want to say back to him get stuck in my throat. Peeta kisses me instead, more deeply, pulling me as close to him as possible. He murmurs his confession again and again between kisses, and my tears begin to fall. _He loves me_, it is all I can think about as the song continue to play.

_'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away_

_And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today_

_'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right_

_And though I can't be with you tonight_

_You know my heart is by your side_

The song ends soon after, but we have already stopped dancing and are wrapped up in our kiss. This is by far the highlight of my year, with him so close to me and telling me he loves me.

"I listen to this song whenever I think about you, especially that month we had to stay apart. That's when I realized my feelings for you," and he leans back down and kisses me again.

I'm breathless when we finally decided to head back in.

"Now for part two," he announces, grinning at me. "You might want to change into something more comfortable." I respond with a short laugh as I wipe the stray tears from my face, and then go upstairs to change. I come back down a while later in a comfortable two-piece cotton lounge suit. I see Peeta has also changed into a pair of khaki shorts and a button-down shirt.

"Let's have a picnic under the stars," he smiles.

"So we're continuing with the star theme?" I tease.

"Of course, it's the prom's theme, silly." Peeta wraps his arm around my waist and we head toward the meadow on his property. He lays out a blanket on the grass and sets down the picnic basket.

"Are you hungry?"

"A little," I admit. "I didn't eat much at the prom. I was too nervous and I kept stealing glances at you."

"Same here," he replies. "My eyes were fixed on you all night," and he leans in to capture my lips and whispers he loves me once more. Peeta places the basket between us and takes out sandwiches, salad, and of course, some baked goods.

We eat in comfortable silence and I can't contain the smile on face every time he looks at me. He reaches out a hand towards me and smooths my hair. He tucks some loose strands behind my ear and trails his hand down my arm. After we're finished eating, Peeta moves the basket off the blanket and gently pull us down to lie next to each other on the blanket.

"Are you familiar with constellations, Katniss?"

"Somewhat. My dad tried to teach Prim and I but it always turned into a silly game," I laugh softly.

"Good, because I don't know much either," he grins. "I do know that's the Big Dipper though," he says, pointing up to a group of stars.

"I think I see the handle," I giggle. Peeta continues to point at different stars, telling me what he thinks they are, and I find myself simply staring at him. Even though the meadow is very dimly lit by the few lights around his property and by the stars and moon, I can still see his long and curly golden eyelashes. I look down to his nose, paying attention to the shape of it for the first time. I also notice how his top lip curls right out and has a dimple in between. Peeta's lips are moving as he talks but all I can think of is kissing them, feeling them on my lips, and ultimately my body.

"Peeta," I utter barely audibly.

"Am I boring you?" Peeta asks turning over toward me and smiling.

"I love you." I confess quietly. His smile fades a bit, then grows wider, but gradually falls again.

"You're not just saying that are you? You don't have to say it unless…" I silence him with a kiss, effectively cutting off the rest of his sentence. He sighs, and I nibble at his lips. As we catch our breath in between kisses, I tell him again.

"So we love each other?" He asks me a little while later, holding me tighter against his body.

"Uh huh," I reply, unable to contain the smile spreading on my face.

We lie on the blanket for about a half hour more when my back starts to ache and I start yawning.

"Tired, babe?"

"Yes, and my back hurts a bit." I admit.

"I'm sorry. I guess the ground isn't as comfortable as I thought," Peeta laughs bashfully. "Do you want to go home?" Peeta eyebrows rise questioningly, hoping that I'll say no. But he doesn't have to worry because I don't want to go home yet. I don't want this night to end.

"I'm not ready to go home, I want to stay with you," I pull myself closer to him and nuzzle into his chest.

"Alright. Do you want to maybe come over to my place? My actual apartment, I mean."

It would be a big deal to go back to his place and be with him alone. It makes me nervous thinking about it, but also excited. But what if something more happens?

"Okay," I respond shyly, and Peeta picks up on it.

"Are you sure? I don't want to do anything that might make you feel uncomfortable."

"I know. It's just, it's prom night."

"Yeah?" He mumbles in my hair.

"Are you expecting us to do anything?" I blurt out against his shirt.

"What do you mean Katniss?" Peeta gently moves my face from his chest and looks down at me.

"Are you expecting to have sex with me tonight?" Peeta's face turns red and even in the dim lit meadow, I can see his embarrassment.

"No," he replies quickly. "Were you expecting to have sex with me?"

"I don't know," I stare down at the blanket, pulling at a loose thread.

"Honestly, I don't think I'm ready for that yet." I turn my head up to him, completely surprised at his revelation.

"Really?"

"Yes and I would like to take my time with you. I love you and I know you love me, but we just got to this point. We have all the time in the world to get to that. Now that school is over, we can spend some actual time together. I'll most likely be doing the Summer Intensive with you, which means we'll be able to hang out more."

"That sounds really good," I tell him. "It's funny though, because Johanna prepared me for, you know. She packed me a bag of "goodies" and everything. She figured because of tradition…" I trail off.

"Tradition?" He lets out a small laugh and shakes his head. "My first time was at my ex-girlfriend's prom. She was a year older than me and we decided to do it then."

"Did you enjoy it?" I ask bluntly, a little uncomfortable with talking about Peeta's sex life.

"No, because we didn't get to plan it to happen on a day that was special for the both of us, and not on day that was deemed special by everyone. I don't want to make that same mistake with you, I want our first time to be a time we both can look back on and be happy we did it then."

Peeta traces his fingers down my arms and I can't help but shudder from the tingling sensation his actions brings.

"I understand," I nod my head, and he leans over to kiss me softly. Peeta stands and helps me up. We fold the blanket and pick up the basket before heading back inside.

"Are you ready?" Peeta sees me bring my dress and duffle bag down the stairs.

"Yes," I respond. He takes my items and we walk to his car. He puts my stuff in the trunk, and then opens the door on the passenger side for me. I hop in and buckle my seat belt.

Why am I so nervous all of a sudden? I know we are not going to have sex tonight, but my mind races at what we can actually do for the rest of the night.

We pull up to the bakery about a half hour later and I turn to him with a confused expression.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I live on top of the bakery. It used to be my parent's place when they just had my oldest brother. But when the bakery grew and they made more money, they bought the house where they live in now. They kept this apartment for us to have eventually, and my brothers and I have all lived here at some point. And since I'm the youngest, it's mine for now."

"Oh, okay." Peeta helps me out of the car and then takes my things out his trunk. He hands me the keys to open the door that's adjacent to the store front. We walk up a flight of stairs until we're at another door and walk ourselves in.

"Excuse the mess, I didn't expect to have you over here so soon," he apologizes.

"It's not that bad," I comment, and it honestly isn't. The living room is the first area we step into when we walked in, and I then see the kitchen, the bathroom, and his bedroom off to the other side of his apartment. His living room has a large sectional couch that occupies much of the space there. There's a flat screen television right across from it, with a game console and cable box underneath. There are piles of clean laundry folded on the couch, and the side tables at both ends have nothing on them except the lamps and remote controls. The coffee table has a couple of magazines on top of it; but otherwise his apartment looks neat and quite empty.

Peeta hangs my dress in closet next to the front door and sets my duffle bag on the couch. I kick off my shoes and place them next to his on a shoe rack close to the door.

"Would you like a drink, Katniss?"

"Sure, what do you have?" I walk over to the fridge and see he has the basics. I opt for a bottle of water and he takes one for me, then another one from himself. We move to the couch and we sit next to each other.

"So what do you want to do? I can put on Netflix, or we can watch television. Maybe listen to music, or play a video game?"

"How about we cuddle?" I suggest instead.

"Alright," he agrees, pulling me closer to him. I'm honestly pretty beat and won't mind just falling asleep on his chest. Eventually, he pulls me onto his lap and I pull my knees up, gathering myself as much as I possibly can in his arms. I feel his fingers trace the hem of my shirt and I start to feel warmth spreading all over me. I pull myself away from him to unzip the sweatshirt I'm wearing and take it off. After folding it and placing it next to me, I return to my original position on Peeta's lap. He also resumes tracing his fingers at the hem of my shirt until I let out a sigh, and he stills his hand.

"You didn't have to stop," I whisper. Peeta kisses the top of my forehead and continues his ministrations. I shift my body in hopes that he gets the hint that I want his hands higher on me. He does, and lets out a small laugh as he complies. His fingers are relaxing me but I don't want to fall asleep yet. I decide to turn my body until I'm straddling him. When I look up, I see his eyes are shining and his mouth curls into a small smile.

"Are we awake now?" He asks mischievously.

"Yes, you woke me up."

"So what should I do to keep you awake?" He doesn't wait for my response and I feel his fingers tickle my side.

"Peeta!" I squeak, but he only digs into my sides more, causing me to laugh harder and squirm on his lap.

"Stop it, stop it!" I keep laughing until I nearly fall out of his lap.

"Alright, alright," he acquiesces, stifling his laugh and pulling me up. "You are so loud," his nose scrunches from smiling.

"Well you're the one causing me to make so much noise," I say breathlessly.

"Oh, really? I'm causing you to make so much noise? I think you would like it if I was causing you to make noise," he bites my ear and I let out a yelp. He continues to nip my ear and a light moan escapes my throat.

"See, that's what I like to hear." I feel that warmth spreading across me again as he nibbles on my ear. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me even closer to him.

"Peeta," I gasp. He lowers his head and starts planting kisses on my neck and collarbone. I feel his hands slowly go up my shirt and I begin to rock my hips on his lap, enjoying both his mouth on me and the ministrations of his hands. I run my fingers through his hair and gently pull him back up toward my mouth, resuming our kiss. I'm getting myself worked up, but then I realize just how excited he is as well. I feel him hard against the underside of my thigh and I can't help but revel in the sensation of him. I'm doing something to cause him to feel this way, and that does something to me also.

This isn't the first time I felt him hard against my leg, especially since I'm always straddling him, but it has never affected me as much as it does now, because before we weren't at the point in our relationship to do anything about it. I've been aroused on many Sundays from being with him and I always end up spending extra time in the shower to relieve myself. But I often wonder how it would feel when we finally come together.

I start to place kisses on Peeta's jaw and on his sweet spot. I feel him lightly buck his hips against me and moan every so often. After a few more minutes of making out, Peeta grabs my waist and stares into my eyes.

"Maybe we should go to bed now?"

"Are you tired?" I say, lifting my eyebrow.

"Yes, and I want to hold you for a little bit before I have to get you home in the morning. What time is Johanna's graduation?"

"Noon." I stand up and look down at Peeta's lap, the shorts he's wearing leaves little to the imagination. He catches my eye and blushes a bit. He stands up finally and we walk into his room.

"Did you need something to sleep in?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Johanna was very thorough, so no. I have something with me," I smile.

He points me to the direction of the bathroom and I take a few things from my bag before heading there. I wash my face and undo the elaborate braids, leaving my hair slightly crimped and hanging loosely on my shoulders. After brushing my teeth, I undress. Johanna picked out a simple two-piece silk lingerie set for me to wear. It's more of the modest kind, looking similar to a V-neck shirt and a pair of shorts. I put them on and place the clothes I was wearing earlier and my toiletries into my duffle bag.

When I enter his bedroom, Peeta is only in a pair of sleep pants with his chest exposed. I've never seen his entire chest and it stops me in my tracks. When he catches my eyes, he walks over to me as I stand frozen at the threshold of the door.

"Are you ready for bed?" I hesitate for a second but then nod when he begins to rub small circles in my hand. With his hand in mine he brings me over to his bed. Peeta has a plain white sheet set, and an equally plain white quilt. I crawl over and arrange myself on the other side of the bed and lie down to look up to him. He looks down at me and smiles widely and then joins me in his bed pulling me closer to him. I settle in on his warm chest and begin running my fingers through the curly blonde hair there. I start to hear a stifled moan from him so I continue trailing down to his stomach. He kisses my forehead, gently tracing his lips down to my nose and to my mouth. After a few moments of kissing him and his hands tickling my sides, I roll over on my back and he moves to hover over me.

So much for trying to sleep. Peeta peppers me with kisses, nipping along my jaw and neck. He lets his mouth explore my skin above the neckline of my lingerie and his hands are on my stomach. I breathe a little heavier when I feel his fingertips approach the swells of my breasts; he has never touched me there before. Peeta looks me in the eye asking for permission, and I nod my head in approval. He then begins to run his hands over my nipples, slightly pinching them between his fingers. He moves back to my mouth as he caresses my skin, and I feel that familiar hardness against my thigh. I giggle lightly as he continues to poke at my thigh, and he stops his movements to look at me.

"What's so funny?" He asks.

"You're obviously aroused," I smile up at him. "I think we should do something about that." Even though that came out bolder than I expected, I still feel a blush on my face.

"Are you aroused?" He asks as his fingers skim down my stomach.

"Yes, but I guess you can't feel my boner," we both start laughing and he turns to his side.

"I'm really bad at this. I don't really know how to proceed, especially since we agreed to not have sex tonight," I confess almost embarrassed at my lack of knowledge regarding this subject.

"There are things we can do without actually having sex, you know," he whispers.

"Like what?"

"I can touch you and you can touch me. You know, down there," he suggests and points below my waist.

"I know where," I laugh and Peeta gives me a scowl, which makes me laugh even harder. "Alright, alright, so touch me then," and by Peeta's reaction he gets the seriousness on my face.

"Can I undress you?"

"I thought we're not having sex?"

"We're not. I just want to see you. You know, for research purposes," he teases. Now it's my turn to scowl and he holds his hands up. "But only if you're comfortable. It'll just be easier for us to move our hands around if there aren't any clothes in the way." Peeta is giving me a crooked smile and I lean over to kiss him.

"Okay," I whisper against his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." Peeta slowly removes my top over my head and his eyes immediately lock on a portion of my scar that he's never seen before. There's a bit on my right breast, which extends down my side. He lowers his head and begins kissing me there, but only on the scar. I exhale shakily as he skims my nipple and goes lower until he's at my hip. He hooks his hands on my shorts and pulls them down along with my panties.

Felling self-conscious from my nakedness, I reach for his pants and yank them down so that we're both undressed. I do so down to his knees, and he does the rest of the work. I lie on my side and just stare at him. He's standing at attention and is very hard. I've never seen this part of a man before in real life. All of my references are from health class or in that movie Johanna made me watch. She was very thorough in her sex talk with me.

"Peeta," I gasp. He notices where my eyes are and chuckles.

"Oh yeah, that's me," he blushes and I laugh nervously. Peeta pulls me closer to him and I feel him poke at my stomach. I look up to him and he's smiling while he caresses my arm.

"Are you ready?" He asks a few moments later, and I nod. Peeta gently places me on my back and begins feathering my body with light touches. When he reaches my breasts, he leans over and kisses them both, before exploring my nipples with his mouth. I moan loudly at the contact and he tightens his hold around my waist. I can't stop making noises as I watch him lavish my breasts and as he moves lower, kissing and nibbling my stomach.

"Ready?" He asks me again. He brings himself back on his side, with his hand resting on my stomach.

"Yes." I close my eyes as I wait for the movements of his hands. He's moving painfully slow at the beginning, but when he reaches the top of my slit, I tense up.

"Relax," he coos kissing the side of my head. "You'll enjoy it more if you relax. You trust me, right?" I open my eyes and nod again.

"So watch me then." Peeta's hand descends further down between my legs. I moan lightly when I feel him touch my most sensitive spot and he starts making slow circles on me. The pleasure I feel at this moment is nothing like I ever felt before, even when I would spend extra time in the shower relieving myself. He seems to know where and how to touch me and that helps me to relax even more. Gradually, I feel him pick up speed, until I can't help arching my body off the bed. I call out his name several times as I feel myself topple over the edge.

In my euphoria, I don't hear him murmuring words in my ear.

"I love you," is all I catch from him, and I turn around and smile.

"I love you too," I manage to respond as I try to catch my breath.

A few moments later, Peeta lies on his back and uses the same hand he had on me earlier to get himself ready.

"Show me." Seeing as I never done this before, he takes my hand and places it on his member. Besides him feeling wet and sticky, there are patches of soft skin and underneath it feels like a hard muscle. I sit on my knees, hovering over him and I notice just how flat his stomach is and how low the curly hair goes. With his guidance, I move my hand up and down on him, starting slowly at first. As I hear his ragged breaths, I instinctively build up speed. I admire the look of him; how the skin stretches and his length. I find that the top of him is more sensitive and when I slightly graze it on the upswing, he tenses up. He gives me a smile when I look over to him, reassuring me that I'm not making any mistakes. I continue touching him and I notice he's beginning to shake.

"Just like that," Peeta encourages me, and I know he's close to finishing. He stills his legs and lets out a grunt, and that's when it happens. Peeta's hand covers mine and he releases on his stomach.

Afterward, we take turns cleaning up in the bathroom and then we snuggle back in his bed.

"Thank you," Peeta says kissing my forehead.

"For what?" I ask.

"For trusting me. I love you, Kitty Kat."

"I love you too, Peeta," I laugh inwardly, because I have still have no similar nick name for him.


	24. Chapter 23

I wake up wrapped in Peeta's arms, and I take the time to admire his sleeping face. He looks angelic, with the sun shining through the window hitting his face and his soft curls. I still can't believe everything we did together last night and how good it felt to be close to him. I never thought I'd ever feel comfortable enough to be with any guy like that after the accident. I have been so self-conscious about my body, but Peeta always makes me feel good about myself, and last night was no exception. The way he caressed my scars and kissed them reverently will forever be in my mind. I love him, and after last night I know he loves me too. He made sure I was comfortable and helped me relax. He didn't pressure me to do anything I wasn't ready to do and made sure I was satisfied first.

I run my hands through his curls gently, not wanting to wake him up. But after a few more gentle tugs from my fingers, his eyes start to flutter.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he murmurs, pulling me in tight to his chest. I lean up to kiss him and he groans against my lips.

"I want to wake up next to you every morning," he says as he smooths my hair behind my ear. I smile at him and lean in once more to continue kissing him.

After exchanging several kisses, we both reluctantly pull away and Peeta asks about the time.

"It's 7:13," I casually tell him.

"Oh boy," he responds.

"What's wrong?"

"I wanted to make you breakfast, but I don't want to leave during the morning rush, which starts right about now."

I understand what he's trying to say. We haven't exactly come out with our relationship yet to the public; and in this small town, word travels fast. Even though I'm done with high school, it still won't look right for us to be seen together as a couple right now.

"We'll have to go out the back," he tells me as we get out of the bed. It strikes me that we're still both naked and my clothes are in my duffle bag, which is still in his living room. I discretely take his blanket and wrap it around me before stepping out his bedroom. When Peeta looks at me again, he lets out a chuckle.

"What?" I ask him as I rifle through my bag.

"Nothing, you just look really adorable in my blanket," he responds as he pulls up his jeans. He walks over to me, still shirtless, and wraps an arm around my waist and kisses my neck. "Next time we're together like this, I want us to have a leisurely morning, have a long breakfast together; and not us throwing clothes on in hurry to run out of here."

"Okay. We'll have to plan for it then, somewhere that is more private than right above the busiest bakery in town," I tease him.

"Well I guess I didn't think that far. I promise it will be better next time." I smile at him over my shoulder and put my bra on under the blanket. After I've finished fastening it, I put on my shirt before finally dropping the blanket off me. I then put my pants on, then my socks and shoes, and grabbed my jacket.

We head out his apartment a few minutes later. I go down the stairs that leads to the back of the bakery, and then wait at the back of the building holding my dress and duffle bag. Within a couple minutes, Peeta turns up right at the corner in his car and I walk over and hop in.

The drive over to my house is quiet. I hold his free hand and can't help but stare at him. I see him smiling; I let go of his hand and poke my finger on his cheek.

"I love your dimples," I tell him, then let my finger fall and stroke his jaw.

"Thank you."

My hand then travels down to his arm and traces it with feathery touches. Before I know it, he's already pulling into my driveway. After he parks, he undoes his seat belt and looks over to me, and I am suddenly having a little bit of separation anxiety.

"Ready?" I want to tell him no, because I don't want this to end. When he walks me to my door, I pull him inside and kiss him passionately.

"Isn't your mother home?" He warns me. I look outside and notice her car parked next to Peeta's. She must have just gotten home from working the graveyard shift.

"Crap," I pull away from him and he smiles down to me.

"Don't worry; I'll be at Gale's house for Johanna's graduation party this afternoon."

"I don't want you to leave me yet," I pout and Peeta breaks into a wide grin.

"I don't want to leave either, but I need to get some things ready at the bakery for this afternoon," he tells me gently while caressing my cheek.

"30 minutes?" I ask hopefully, lifting my eyebrow.

"Alright," he acquiesces, and I eagerly lead him to my room.

Peeta leaves my house an hour later. We intended to keep our make-out session tame, but it became hot and heavy quickly, with our clothes almost coming off again. It's like something has been unleashed in me since last night and my desire for Peeta has increased dramatically. I just want to be near him all the time and want to do all those things I've been fantasizing about these last few months with him. I feel completely safe with him and I know he cares deeply about me, and all the feelings that I've been having for him for the past year are culminating now.

Johanna and Gale come back to my house around 10am to let Johanna get ready for her graduation ceremony. The smile on her face tells me her night with Gale was also magical, to say the least. While she gets dressed, I tell her tidbits of what Peeta and I did last night and this morning. She gives me a hug and congratulates me for taking the next step in my relationship with Peeta.

"I knew he loved you," she tells me as she buttons her blouse. "The way he was so patient and caring toward you, and how he cooked and baked for you. Doing all those things before even kissing you? That's just insanely romantic."

"Well, what about you? How long have you been telling Gale you love him?" Johanna looks off in the distance serenely as she fiddles with the final button of her blouse.

"I've always told him right from the beginning, and it's the same for him. We were in love before we became official, so things progressed pretty quickly for us once we did. I don't regret it either, because I know he's the one for me. I think I realized it when we both started taking care of you. Gale is a loving person and that just drew me to him."

"You know I love you both, right?" I tell her as I pull her into a hug. "I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have you two with me the last two years. You were my pillars of strength, that's why I'm so happy you found each other. You deserve each other, really."

Johanna is smiling widely and I see her also tearing up like I am. When did we become so emotional? I guess love will do that to you.

Gale comes into the room soon after and when he sees us hugging, he automatically joins in. I repeat the same words that I said to Johanna to him, and his smile matches hers. Who knew two years ago that I'd be here with my best friends today, feeling the best I've felt in a long time. Not only that, I also now feel reconnected with my mother, and of course, I even have Peeta.

I stick my head into my mother's room a little while later to check on her. I see her wrapped under her blanket still asleep, so I quietly sit down on the edge of her bed.

"Hey Katniss," she greets in a very sleepy voice.

"Hey mom, I didn't want to wake you up."

"It's alright. How was the prom with Peeta?" She asks me.

"Really good, mom."

"I hope so. Were you careful?"

"Mom," I whine, feeling embarrassed. "We didn't do anything like that."

"Well, just making sure. You know you can talk to me if you need to about anything."

"It's okay, Mom. Johanna showed me a very informative video." My mother shakes her head and I let out a small laugh.

"So what did happen?"

"We danced under the stars and he told me he loves me."

"That's beautiful, sweetie. I knew that would be coming soon. I saw it in the way he was looking at you last night."

"Really, you could tell by just that?"

"A mother always knows," she smiles. She pats my hand and I bend over to hug her.

"Johanna's party is around two, do you think you can make it to the Hawthorne's house then?"

"Of course. I don't have work until Monday night, so I'll be there. She's an important person to this family, her and Gale, I wouldn't miss supporting her." With that, I hug my mother again and then leave to join Gale and Johanna in the car.

We arrive at the high school and head into the auditorium where they'll have her graduation. It's just for the students who took career training courses, so it is no more than 50 students that are a part of the ceremony.

I sit with Gale and his family, who have all come to support Johanna. Her and her mother are still having a strained relationship over her stepfather, but I'm just glad she has us. I hope they can find a resolution soon because I know firsthand how it like to not get along with your own mother. However, something tells me that Johanna and Mrs. Hawthorne are getting along really well.

We sit through the speeches and when the awards are presented, we're surprised to hear that Johanna has won a scholarship to cover her first year of nursing school. She is also awarded a full time job at the nursing home where she interned at, as part of the scholarship. We all go crazy and scream her name to congratulate her, and I can see the tears streaming down her face. When I look over to Gale, I also see him crying tears of joy, and it makes me beam with pride for them as a couple.

After the ceremony, Gale can't stop hugging and kissing her as we make our way to his car. I jokingly tell them to get a room and Johanna blushes. On the way back to his parent's house, they hold hands tightly and keep exchanging adoring looks with each other.

Peeta is already at Gale's when we arrive, setting up the cake and other desserts from his bakery. I greet him with a hand squeeze, trying to not get too much in the way of his preparation. I enter the kitchen and I see Gale's family is buzzing around while Mrs. Hawthorne is making the finishing touches on the meal she made. I walk over and see that my mother has shown up. She hugs me first, then Johanna and Gale. She seems happy to be around her old friend again, and they've seemed to pick up right where they left off.

Rue shows up a little later and we veer off to the side to talk. We continue to talk until Rory keeps giving me the eye, and I get the hint he wants to be alone with her. They walk off hand in hand to the backyard and I wave at her, anticipating our time together in the summer intensive again. She has been recommended by her music teacher, Mrs. Odair, who had begun teaching classes at the high school last semester.

I look around and catch Gale and Johanna in the living room sitting closely together, talking intensely about something. Right when I start to walk over to them, I feel a hand around my waist and turn to see that it's Peeta.

"Come on, we have a few minutes before it's time to eat," he motions toward the back of the house. I smile at his urgency and he leads me into Gale's room.

"Don't worry; he said we could use it for privacy." I laugh as I move toward him and we kiss. I feel his hands on me and that now familiar warmth starts spreading in me. I know we won't be able to do anything right now, so I break the kiss and bring him over to the bed to sit down.

"Did you hear about Johanna's scholarship and job?" I ask him.

"Yeah, Gale told me while I was setting up the cakes. That's really good for her."

"Yes, I'm really happy for her. I know she was worried about affording college since her mother told her a few weeks ago she wouldn't cosign on a loan for her."

"Ugh," Peeta groans in sympathy for her.

Moments later, we hear a knock at the door and we tell them to come right in.

"Hey guys," Gale greets us, closing the door after Johanna. "We're about to make an announcement but I wanted you to know about it first."

"I've been accepted into an Auxiliary Police Officer program. In exchange for service, they are paying for my last year of school and then they'll help me with the police officer's exam next summer."

I quickly stand up and pull Gale into a congratulatory hug. "That's so awesome Gale!"

I hug him again and then Johanna. Peeta shakes Gale's hand and then hugs Johanna.

"So with that news and Johanna's news, we have both decided to get a place together."

The room grows quiet and I see the anxiety on both their faces.

"We'll still be there for you if you need us, we just didn't know if Johanna could continue staying with you and your mom since she's finished with high school," Gale explains.

"It's alright," I reassure them and give them both a hug once more. "Congratulations, to both of you!"

Johanna starts to cry happy tears while Gale looks relieved. I'm happy that they are doing so well that they can consider living together. I didn't expect her to stay at my house forever, especially since she's a legal adult now. I don't even know if my mother would want rent money or anything. She was okay with her staying before and even worked out something with her mother, but I guess now things are different.

We all head into the living room where they make the same announcement, and his family is ecstatic. Even my mother seems pleased that they are taking this big step. I guess in any other family, someone would be nervous for an 18 year old and a 19 year old to be living together, but I know firsthand that these two are mature enough for that kind of responsibility. They took care of me without question for the last two years and I'm doing as well as I am because of them.

Finally, we eat our meal and compliments are given all around. The desserts from the bakery are magnificent and we all go back for seconds. I tell Peeta my favorites that I want him to make for me, and he smiles bashfully as I continue to complement him.

It's early evening when I walk him to the door. He has to get ready for the "surprise" party they're throwing for him on Monday for completing his first year of teaching at the high school. He has invited all the students he has personally taught. It feels weird for me to be there as one of his students, especially with where our relationship is now. But I decided that I want to be there for him, even if we still need keep our interactions at a minimum since it's still not the time for us to go public. I kiss him gently and tell him I love him, and he tells me the same thing before heading to his car.


	25. Chapter 24

**More Rated M scenes. ;)**

* * *

It's finally graduation day. Johanna and I spent the previous night talking about our future and not getting much sleep. She told me that she was ready to move forward with her life with Gale, and talked about how excited she was about getting their own apartment. They had been tossing the idea around for a while, ever since Gale found out about the Auxiliary Police Officer program about a month ago. Gale wanted to wait to tell everyone until his paperwork was finalized. With Johanna's news about getting her own scholarship, they figured they can now afford to move in together and support one another with school and work.

As for myself, I plan to attend the local community college in the fall, and sometime in the summer I'll have to go down there to register for classes. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do, but I know I want to start with taking some liberal arts courses. I will be working this summer, and I'm still collecting some social security benefits from my father, which I'll continue to receive until I'm 21 as long as I remain enrolled in college. I will also keep living with my mother in the meantime, so this will give me a little bit more time to make decisions about my future.

Gale arrives at my house around seven in the morning. Graduation starts in a couple of hours and we're expected to be there by eight. Gale wants to take us out for breakfast at the Mellark's Restaurant before heading over to the ceremony. With my mother driving behind us, we arrive at the restaurant within the next 15 minutes. I see a few families also had the same plans, eating with their cap-and- gown-clad children. I catch Peeta walking around, tending to his customers. He finally makes his way toward us and I give him a bright smile.

"Good morning! Happy Graduation Day!" he greets us enthusiastically. He then sends us over a complimentary plate of his cheese bun stuffed French toast. By the time we're done with our meals and make our way to the ceremony, I am so full my dress feels a bit tight.

Gale hugs and kisses Johanna and me before he joins his family, who are already sitting down. I then take a moment alone with my mother.

"I'm so proud of you, Katniss. You've come so far in these past two years and I know your dad and Prim would be so proud of you now. They're watching over you, honey." Tears stream down from both of our faces and I hug my mother tightly. She whispers she loves me before taking a seat with the Hawthornes.

Johanna and I find our spot on the procession line. I look on to the crowd of families sitting out on the lawn waiting for us to march in. I also see the teachers dressed in their robes by their respective department when I spot Peeta just arriving and joining them. He has his own ceremonial robe hanging over his arm, which he quickly puts on. His is light blue for Arts in Education, and he's also wearing a pin for his duties as a wrestling coach. He takes a seat with the other teachers in the front row.

Our cap and gowns are white, with students who are a part of the honor society wearing gold sashes. The graduation march begins to play and the families erupt in cheers as we make our way down the aisle and slowly up to the stage. I'm surprisingly not as nervous as I thought I would be when I take my seat on stage. I look out to the crowd to find my family and then Peeta, giving them smiles. My phone buzzes and I see a text message from Johanna.

_Good luck! Love you!_

_Love you too!_

The chattering of the students dies down when Principal Snow takes the stage. I still have animosity towards him after the investigation, and I thank my lucky stars I'll never have to deal with him ever again. He tells us to be brave and honest as we go off to college and into the real world. He reminds us to remember the lessons we learned here and use our experiences to help us succeed. I tune out the rest of the generic message he's given at graduations each year and look at Peeta. He staring at Principal Snow intently with his arms folded in his lap. Peeta must have felt my eyes on him because he turns toward me and mouths the words: _Good luck!_ I feel my cheeks grow warm and I mouth to him: _I love you_. I know he can't say it back, not with all these eyes around. He gives me a smile instead and when he turns his head back to the Principal, his smile doesn't fade away.

Our valedictorian comes up next and makes her speech. She is a red-headed girl who's my height and has the delicate features similar to a fox. She begins her speech and half way through she reminds us that these are the best days of our lives. For once I can agree, because of all that I have experienced with my friends and with Peeta, I know they've made them the best days of my life. I reflect back on how hard it has been dealing with the loss of my father and Prim, but I'll make it through with hard work and with my support system. And I know Prim and Dad are smiling down on me.

xx

We finally cross the stage to receive our diplomas, with each student's family cheering louder than the previous one. I'm surprised when I hear Peeta cheering for me when my name is called. I know he is proud of what I've accomplished, and he is eager as I am for us to finally be able to get on with lives, starting with spending this summer together. Special awards are given out and Peeta receives one for completing his first year at the high school. There are a few girls that seem to scream a little too loud for my liking when he gets up there, but I don't let jealousy get the best of me. After all, I have seen him naked.

Mrs. Hawthorne and my mother arranged a barbeque party for us in the meadow. Gale somehow managed to keep this a secret from Johanna and me, and had some of his friends to also help set it up. As expected, Peeta shows up bearing desserts for us. He squeezes my hand tight and leans down to my ear, whispering sweet words that leave me blushing.

The afternoon goes by with Johanna and I having fun with Gale's family and few close friends we've invited. Rory and Rue are off in the corner, while Gale keeps stealing kisses from Johanna. I catch Peeta's gaze every now and then while he works the grill. I smile to myself hoping that I can sneak over to his place tonight and have some alone time with him again.

When the sun has gone down, we all pack everything in our cars and make our own way home. My mother and I sit and talk for a little bit on the couch when we arrive back home. She soon retires to bed, but not without congratulating me once again and wishing me a good night.

Johanna is over at Gale's house, leaving me alone in my bed. Peeta, who is currently working at the restaurant, sends me a text message:

_How about you and I get together after my party tomorrow? _

_That would be nice. I do miss you holding me, can I stay the night?_

_Of course._

I fall asleep with a smile on my face, thinking about what I actually want to do with him tomorrow night.

I spend the next morning lazily around the house. I have a few weeks before the intensive starts, so I'll just be warming the couch and watching television until then. Johanna started working at the nursing home today, and Gale also started training today for the Auxiliary Police.

I spend the rest of the day taking naps, watching television, and texting Peeta until early evening arrives and I head over to the restaurant. My mother gives me a lift on her way to work. Gale and Johanna say they will swing by at the restaurant after work. It's still a bit early when my mother drops me off, so I take a seat at the bar and order a diet coke. I become lost in my thoughts, so I suddenly jump when I feel a hand on my lower back.

"Hey, it's just me," Peeta says.

"Oh, sorry. I just zoned out for a bit."

"It's alright. We're about to start serving food, so why don't you take a seat at a table." I nod my head and make my way over to a table.

A server comes up and hands me a menu. The spread consists of lamb stew, the usual diner faire of hamburgers and fries, and of course items from the bakery for dessert. I opt for the lamb stew, my old favorite, and see his guests begin to arrive. I recognize most of the students that have either been in my art classes, in the summer intensive, or in the extracurricular program. I spot Clove when she walks in with Glimmer and they take a seat at a table far from me. A few students I was friendly with sit at my table and quickly order their food. Some of the teachers from school show up also, including Mr. Cinna. He also invited some members of the wrestling team and I see Cato taking a seat with Glimmer.

It's nearly seven in the evening when Gale and Johanna arrive, both looking exhausted from the day.

"We're only going to stay an hour and then we're going back to my place. Will you be okay getting a ride home from Peeta?" Gale asks me.

"Yes, no problem." We talk about how their first day at work went, and it seems they both worked very hard but are happy to be in their respective programs. Suddenly, we hear clinking on a glass from the table with the teachers, and it appears they want to say a few words to Peeta.

"Thank you all for coming tonight to celebrate the conclusion of Peeta's first year at the high school." Loud clapping and cheering erupts.

The head coach of the Wrestling Team continues, "I've known Peeta a long time and I was really happy when he joined the faculty as an art teacher as well as a wrestling coach. He did very well when he attended school here and I'm happy to say he's passed on his good values to the students he worked with."

Each teacher gives a toast for Peeta and emphasizes how great he was for the school and for the students. Throughout the speeches, I blush whenever Peeta turns his attention to me, smiling a little wider than before.

Finally Mr. Cinna gets up to talk about Peeta.

"I first met Peeta in 9th grade, after hearing about him from the middle school and all of his talent. I'm proud to say I oversaw his creation of "Three Blonde Boys" which went on to receive many accolades at our art shows." Mr. Cinna pauses when the room gives Peeta a round of applause then continues, "Last summer before Peeta came to work with the school, he worked as an instructor for the Summer Intensive at the YMCA, which then convinced the school to hire him. I'm pleased to announce that another Summer Intensive program would like Peeta to join them this the summer, the Summer Art Intensive of New York University."

I'm not sure how to take in what I just heard because I'm not sure what Mr. Cinna is offering him exactly. Noting the confusion of the crowd, he elaborates.

"As some of you may know, I'm from New York and graduated from New York University with a degree in Art Education. There's a summer intensive each year that recruits art teachers so that they can learn new techniques, as well as brush up on old ones. I'm happy to announce that they are interested in our very own Peeta Mellark!" There's another round of applause for Peeta and louder this time.

"The intensive begins next week, but they need you to be in New York as soon as possible. What do you say Peeta?" Mr. Cinna turns towards Peeta, who has a very shocked look on his face. He stands up and walks next to Mr. Cinna and shakes his hand.

"Of course, of course. It's a dream come true to study in New York." Peeta's family is the first to rush to the front to slap his back and pull him into a hug. Soon students and other faculty come up to congratulate him. Everyone does except me, because I'm glued to my seat. Peeta is going to be away for the entire summer, and as happy as I am for him, I can't help but feel the disappointment from getting my hopes up from expecting that I will be spending the summer here with him.

xx

I decide to leave early with Johanna and Gale, who drop me off at my house. They hug me in consolation outside of my house, sympathizing with what they think I must be feeling right now. I try to hold my emotions in, feeling mostly lost on what I should feel or do. Once they're gone, I head inside and plop myself on the couch. I check my phone and see a message from Peeta.

_I need to talk to you._

I reply to him that I'm home and he can come over if he has time to talk. I'm not really sure when he can leave his own party, so I fall asleep while waiting on the couch. I wake up a few hours later, not feeling any better. My mind is still occupied with thoughts of the summer with him being taken away from me when my phone rings.

"Hello," I answer.

"Baby, open the door." I hang up my phone and walk slowly over to open the door for Peeta.

"Hi."

I gesture for Peeta to come in and then close the door after him.

"When are you leaving?" I ask him without preamble.

"Tomorrow morning at six. My flight is at 8am. The tickets were already purchased by the school."

"Oh," I respond, looking down to my feet.

"I want to spend my last night with you, Katniss." Peeta directly says to me. He lifts my chin and kisses me deeply. I feel the tears run down my face and he wipes them away. He leads me to my room and I pull him with me on to my bed. His hands run all over my body as we kiss, and I feel his tears streaming down also.

"How long is the program?" I ask him between kisses.

"Eight weeks. I'll be back a week before school starts again." He replies. "I want to take you somewhere special then."

"Where?" I ask as he lifts my shirt over my head.

"My grandparent's house upstate. They left it to me in their will." Peeta kisses my neck and between my breasts as I pull his shirt over his head. He explains that his brothers were each left with money; that's how the restaurant was opened and the bakery got remodeled. He has no plans on selling the house because he wants to keep it as a vacation home.

Peeta and I are naked under my covers now and I place my head on his chest. As much as I want to, I know I'm not ready for us to go all the way. He continues to run his hand up and down my back and kisses my forehead.

"I love you so much, Katniss," he murmurs in my ear and the tears begin to flow again.

"Two months, Peeta. That's way longer than last time, and I was so sad I got sick."

"Don't worry too much, we can talk to each other all the time this time and we will. We can always Skype." I feel his mouth on my neck as he continues to kiss me there. I find his mouth and capture it, not wanting to think about him leaving me in the next few hours. Instead, I lie on my back and pull him on top of me and I feel him hard against my stomach. I let my hand slide down to touch him, but he gently pulls my hand away and tells me, "You first."

Peeta's mouth descends on my body, planting kisses on my sensitive skin. When he reaches my belly button, he stills.

"Can I try something?" He asks looking up at me and I nod. I feel his lips go even lower as his hands spread my thighs apart and dip right in between my folds. I immediately close my eyes and I feel his lips follow his fingers. His tongue ventures to my bundle of nerves, lightly at first, but then he builds confidence and begins licking and sucking my nub. He places my legs over his shoulders as he becomes even more aggressive and the noises leaving my mouth are something I haven't heard from myself ever in my life. I feel myself reaching higher and higher for that pleasurable feeling he gave me a few days ago. My hand move to grab on to his curls and he grips my hips to keep me still.

"Peeta!" I cry out his name over and over but he doesn't relent. Before I know it, my body is shaking and I'm having the most intense orgasm of my life. My eyes are still closed tight when I feel him move next to me and hold me against his chest.

"My God," I'm finally able to breathe out, and I hear a light chuckle from him. "That was amazing."

"You're amazing," he tells me and I turn over to stare at him. He's still smiling and his blue eyes are shining.

"I love you Peeta, so much."

"I love you."

After I've come down from my high, I turn my attention to him and sit up on my knees. I tell him I want to make him feel good too, and his face nearly freezes in shock when begin to lower my mouth on to him. I'm clumsy at first, not knowing where to position my teeth and tongue but I keep in mind on one of my many talks with Johanna. After a few awkward movements, I get a good rhythm going that leaves him moaning loudly. He gathers my hair with one hand as I move on him over and over, while using my hand to help cover the part of him I can't contain in my mouth. I soon feel him shaking intensely, and right before he finishes, he pulls out of my mouth and finishes himself with his hand, his orgasm spilling over his stomach.

I hand him some tissue to clean up and then arrange myself on his chest. We stare at one another until we eventually fall asleep. I wake up soon after; my mind occupied with thoughts of him leaving in a few hours; so I just smooth his hair and watch him sleep.

When morning comes, I get ready so that I can send him off to the airport. He has packed a small suitcase for now, and his parents will ship him his other items in the mail once he's settled. His family also shows up at the airport to see him off. They are well aware of our relationship, so I don't feel too awkward kissing him goodbye in front of them. Mr. Mellark offers me a ride home but I decline, instead using a taxi so I have time with myself to help clear my thoughts.

When I get back home, my mother has returned from her night shift and is in her room asleep. I go back to my own room and lie on my bed. I think back on the past year, getting to know Peeta and being with him, and how my life has changed so much after the accident. I check my phone and see a message from Peeta.

_I love you baby, so much. It will be hard spending these two months without you, but when I'm back, I'll spend that entire week before the school year starts with you upstate and making this up to you. And then, as long as you will let me, I am yours. I love you. Get some rest, and I'll Skype with you later._

I put my head down on my pillow and close my eyes tight as I let the tears run down my cheeks, but I know I'll be alright.

* * *

**Epilogue is next. Thanks for sticking with me :)**


	26. Epilogue Part 1

**Rated M scenes ;)**

* * *

It's a week before Peeta returns from New York, and I can't hold in the excitement of seeing him again. The summer went by with us talking on Skype and texting regularly. When he left for New York, I quickly needed to find a distraction from him not being physically with me. I accelerated my driving lessons and got my license a month into the summer. To my surprise, my mother financed a brand new car for me. She had them put extra safety features in it so that I wouldn't be too nervous on the road. When I first got back behind the wheel, I had to see Dr. Aurelius a few extra times, so I greatly appreciated my mother's extra thought into the car.

Around the same time I got my license, Gale and Johanna found an apartment near the community college. It is a cozy one bedroom with a terrace, and we had a few barbeques there once they had moved in. I've spent a few nights there also and even shared the bed just like old times.

I fit right into the Intensive as a Teacher's Assistant and worked well with Mr. Cinna, who returned to the position since Peeta is in New York. I finally got around coming to see Rue sing and she even convinced me to join her in a few familiar songs during a karaoke night hosted by the Y. Johanna Skyped in Peeta on her smart phone so that he could also witness it.

During his first week in New York and his move finally sank in, Peeta started to doubt if coming to this Intensive in New York without thinking it through first was the right decision to make. He was used to being away from his family by now; with spending every summer since he was in high school at a an Intensive in a different town or state, and then being away for college. This was the first summer that he had a girlfriend he wanted to stay for, and he thought that he should've instead. Despite my initial feelings about him leaving, I know more than anyone else that art is important to him. I reassured him that I understand and support his decision, and that I was going to be here when he gets back. Still, we shared a few Skype sessions where one or both of us were teary-eyed, but we eventually were able to manage with our distance.

When he had fully settled in, Peeta began to enjoy his Intensive and showed me his portfolio, as well as some photos he took around the city, like in Central Park, The Museum of Modern Art, The Statue of Liberty, and a few other city landmarks and tourist spots. He bought a few things he wanted to give to me when he got back, but has shipped me beforehand, an official New York City teddy bear, which somehow smelled like him when it arrived.

Being away from Peeta was difficult at first, especially after being with him regularly before he left, but I got better at dealing with it. I wrote Peeta actual letters that I tucked around in my side drawer, planning to give them to him when I see him again. I let my imagination run wild with thoughts of him. After much discussion, we decided to take that final step in our physical relationship during our trip to his grandparent's house upstate. I knew it was going to happen then anyway. I feel the distance between us only made us closer and even more sure about being together, so I was finally ready to experience making love with him.

Johanna helped me purchase a few items to wear for the week we would be away, as well as packed items for me that we would need for safe and enjoyable sex, according to her. Some of the things she gave me I admit I had no idea about. When I mentioned them to Peeta during one of our Skype dates, he blushed and laughed, then promised to tell me about them when we were together again.

My relationship with my mother also continued to improve. We would spend a few nights a week making dinner together or hanging out in the Mellark Restaurant, which has quickly become this town's favorite. We even went there to celebrate my 18th birthday, and indulged in all my favorites from the bakery. On the two year anniversary of Prim's and Dad's deaths, I spent that entire day with my mother and we reminisced. I cried as expected, but I didn't bury myself in bed wallowing in misery. Peeta sent me a few cards with beautiful words of sympathy for my mom and me on that day, which we read while visiting their graves and it made us smile through our tears.

xx

Peeta's plane was supposed to arrive late afternoon but it was delayed by eight hours. Instead of arriving around 4pm, he's now arriving around midnight. He talked to his family and since they have to open the bakery and restaurant early in the morning, he asked me to come pick him up.

It's only a few people waiting at the arrival area when Peeta's plane lands, and pretty soon I spot him walking through the crowd. Everyone pretty much looks annoyed and tired, including Peeta. When he sees me though, he breaks into a smile and walks quickly toward me. He lets go of his carry-on and pulls me into a hug.

"I missed you, I missed you," Peeta tells me in my ear softly and then kisses me. In between our kisses, I tell him I've missed him as well. I see the weariness in his eyes and his curls are wilder than usual, so we skip the small talk and claim the rest of his luggage. We place four large bags on the luggage cart and then push it toward the exit. I retrieve my car and then help him place his luggage in my trunk and back seat.

"This is a really nice car, Katniss." he praises, leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Thank you. It's a smooth ride as well. I can't believe how safe I feel in it." Peeta smiles at me warmly as we get into the car and I pull off.

"Baby, are you hungry?" I ask him placing my hand on his thigh briefly.

"A little. Is the restaurant still open?"

"I don't think so, but I think your mother left some stew in your fridge. I can heat that up if you want."

"That sounds great." By the time I've parked in the back of the bakery, Peeta is sound asleep. I gently nudge him and we get out of the car. I decide to just take his carryon luggage up the stairs and we'll get the other bags in the morning.

"Welcome home," I announce to Peeta and I get a sleepy grin.

"Glad to be back," he responds leaning down to capture my lips briefly. "I'm going to hit the shower and then I'll have the stew."

"Alright." I watch Peeta as he begins undressing on his way to the bathroom. He's only in his boxers when he finally steps in and closes the door. I walk back into the kitchen, take out the stew and heat it up on the stove. I hear the shower run and smile at myself, glad to finally have Peeta back. I'm beyond excited but I know he's tired so I'll save my energy for next week when I can give him a proper welcome home.

Peeta walks in the kitchen a little while later and I scoop the stew out of the pot and bring it to the small table.

"Let's go into the living room," he suggests. I bring the food with me and place it on the coffee table on top of a magazine. Peeta is wearing just a pair of sleep shorts and I can see the water glistening in his hair and on the hair lining his chest and stomach. I place my hand on him, running it gently up and down.

"I'm sorry your flight was so exhausting," I tell him as he spoons the stew in his mouth.

"It's alright. I'm just glad to be home."

"Me too," and I lean in to kiss him between spoonfuls. I lick my lips and Peeta scoops a spoonful and feeds me.

"You know this stew brought us together," I tell him, licking the bit of sauce from my mouth.

"Yes, it did. Seems like my grandmother strikes again as the perfect match maker. You know she set up my brothers with their wives after meeting them through their grandmothers. She died when I was 19, shortly after my grandfather."

"I'm sorry," I say placing my hand on his.

"She had a beautiful life. The bakery was successful, and with her and my grandfather's savings, she helped finance the restaurant and left me a house that is fully paid for. I loved her dearly and she always listened to me."

"She sounds like a wonderful lady."

"She was."

Peeta finishes his stew and I bring the dishes to the kitchen to wash them. He goes over our plans to go upstate on Monday and for the week, then talks about his schedule when school starts. He'll be the wrestling coach again for this year, and will also be teaching part-time. He'll only manage the restaurant on Friday and Saturday nights, leaving us again with Sundays to be together. After I'm done with the dishes, I change in the bathroom and I join Peeta in his bed.

Peeta's eyes begin to droop as he tries to hold a conversation with me.

"Baby, shush," I tell him affectionately and press a kiss to his jaw.

"I'm not tired," he says sleepily.

"You are, baby. It's okay, we have all week to talk and be together."

"Mmm, be together. I've been thinking about that."

"Oh, really?" I lean over him to kiss his nose.

"Yes. I thought about all of the ways I can make you come undone." I smile at him and continue to kiss his jaw and then his neck. "If you keep doing that, I may have to do something right now," Peeta teases.

"You're too tired. Your hand or jaw might cramp," I tease back.

"You'd be surprised what I could do with just my little finger," he says seductively and I chuckle lightly. Peeta pulls me close to him, pressing a half kiss to my cheek while running his hands under my sleep shirt.

"I would like it very much if this was off," he mumbles into my chest.

"You want me naked?"

"Yes." I laugh as I take my shirt off with his help. I pull down his shorts and then mine. "Much better," he says and leans back down on my chest. "I missed the smell of your skin," he whispers as he kisses me between my breasts.

We fall asleep soon after and when I wake up, I feel Peeta's morning arousal poking me in the back. I feel his hands gently go up and down my side and then him placing a kiss on my shoulder.

"You're awake," Peeta whispers. "I felt you stir." I turn over and find him smiling down at me. He leans slowly down to press a kiss on my lips and then I pull him on me. I wrap my legs around him and feel him hard and ready against my stomach.

"I love the way that feels," I tell him as he begins to kiss my neck. I slide my hand down and give his heated flesh a few strokes, and hear a moan escape him. I bring him down to my entrance and rub his head around my sensitive nub but he doesn't push in. I'm mesmerized by the feeling of him there, combined with the kisses he's now trailing down my chest.

"I've missed this," and Peeta attaches his mouth to me.

Afterward, Peeta and I take a shower together and then get ready for the day.

"My brother sent me a text that my mother planned a breakfast for me this morning at the restaurant. You're welcome to come, Johanna and Gale as well, if they're not too busy."

"I think they're still sleeping in though. With everything they've been doing this summer, they take advantage of their lazy Saturdays."

"Okay."

Peeta and I walk downstairs, and he sees Rye and his wife in the bakery. They greet each other affectionately with a hug and then they do the same with me. We then all head over to the restaurant. Mason and his wife are already there and are seated at a table with Peeta's parents. They all stand when they see him and welcome him back with hugs. I smile and take my turn to greet everyone.

Peeta starts talking about his intensive in New York as servers bring us what can only be described as a banquet of breakfast foods. There's sausages, bacon, eggs, pancakes, and of course, the cheese bun-inspired French toast. To balance off the greasy stuff, there's also cuts of fruit, whole grain toast, oatmeal, and bran muffins.

The plates of food are passed around and we all enjoy the meal while Peeta continues telling us about New York. The gleam in his eye when he discusses his trip moves me. His passion is art and he's lucky enough to have experienced it in all facets. I love the fact that Peeta has many talents, with his art, his teaching, and being a wrestling coach. I also love that he makes time for all of them, as well as the other important parts of his life, like his family and their businesses. Peeta is a real catch and sometimes it baffles me that he's has chosen to be with me.

After breakfast, I hang back to talk to Mason's wife, Gina, and Rye's wife, Angie. Mason and Gina are expecting their first child in the fall; while Rye and his wife already have a two-year-old son, who is spending the weekend with Angie's parents. It's beginning to feel like a welcoming party into the family, the way they are talking to me and sharing family plans with me. I guess I am a part of the family now, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

After breakfast, we head back and Peeta's brothers help bring his luggage upstairs into his apartment. In the afternoon, I head home to check on my mother. For the rest of the weekend, I go between spending time with her and Peeta. I stay both nights with him, and finally on Monday morning, we head upstate to his vacation home.

"Are you excited?" Peeta asks me as he drives. He's taking the first four hours of driving and then I'll take the last.

"Of course. I'm finally getting much needed alone time with you. A whole week of just being with each other. I think we've earned it after being so guarded during the past school year and being separated over the summer."

"Don't worry. I'll make it up to you just like I said I would." I watch Peeta's smile widen as we continue to drive. It gets me excited just thinking about what he might have in store for me. After his leg of the trip, we make a rest stop to have lunch at a small diner. He used to frequent this place when he was younger and is happy it looked as how he remembered it somewhat.

We opt for a booth and sit next to each other. Peeta has his hand around my waist, and is running his hand up and down my side the entire time, smiling at me. I lean in to kiss him a few times while we share a plate of fries and eat our burgers.

"This feels so right," he tells me as he dips his fry in ketchup. "We're together and in public, no less."

"Well, I'm finally legal," I say, kissing his nose.

"Yes, finally," he jokes wrinkling his nose in laughter. "I still want to celebrate your birthday though, since I missed it in June."

"We can do what we did for your birthday." Peeta's birthday was in April and we celebrated it on one of our Sundays together with a picnic. We then had a heavy make out session on his couch in the studio, but I guess we can go a little further this time.

"I have something else planned," he winks at me and continues to bite into his burger.

After lunch, we head back on the road. I've never driven straight for this long, but I have driven every chance that I got, taking my mother to work and picking her up, as well as driving Gale and Johanna around. I relax as much as possible, and I see Peeta take notice and begin to watch me carefully.

We finally arrive at our destination around six in the evening, and take our bags inside his grandparents' house. The house looks similar to my grandparent's house, with shutters on all the windows and primrose bushes out front. The house is furnished with what I surmise are still the same furniture that belonged to his grandparents, as evident in the few pieces in the foyer, living room and dining room, but the den seems to have been updated with modern couches surrounding a fireplace.

"We purchased more comfortable furniture for the den since we spend more time in here than anywhere in the house," Peeta confirms. He continues the tour to the bedrooms upstairs. The master bedroom is the last one, which has its own fireplace. This is also the only room to have a plush white carpet, while the others have hardwood floors and small area rugs. The bed is enormous with a fluffy white comforter and many white pillows. There is a long dresser with a mirror, and another taller dresser in the corner. I start to unpack my clothes and put them in there while Peeta puts his in the other. After I'm done, I excuse myself to the bathroom. I gasp when I take in the sight of a large tub, which appears to also function as a Jacuzzi. I finish up and wash my hands. I immediately tell Peeta we have to try that tub sometime this week. He smiles in agreement and pulls me into a kiss.

Peeta and I head back downstairs for dinner in the large fully stocked kitchen. Peeta had everything delivered to the house by one of the caretakers of the community up here. Since most of these houses function primarily as vacation homes, there is a service that most people pay for to keep their property maintained throughout the year. You can also call to arrange for food delivery and other tasks.

We return to the den and relax on the large sectional couch. It's too warm this time of year to start a fire, so an electrical fireplace sits in front of the actual one, and is just currently displaying simulated flickering fire. It's funny looking at it, but it does give off the feeling of warmth and comfort.

I find myself yawning into Peeta's chest, and we decide to just to sleep here and not worry about getting back upstairs. When I wake up a little while later, the room is dark except for the flickering of the electronic fireplace. I take this time to look over at Peeta's sleeping form. I run my hands through his curls and press a small kiss on his forehead. I'm feeling relaxed simply just lying in his arms and not thinking about anything but him. He wakes up shortly after I've kissed him and he begins to kiss me back.

We stay that way, our lips locked and hands roaming for a long while. Finally, we sit up and he leads me back upstairs to the master bedroom. I start to change into my sleep clothes but Peeta requests we sleep in the nude again, which I have no objections to. I figure at some point we'll be having sex, so it'll better for my nerves to not also be bothered with undressing later on.

When I get into bed I bring over the bag of items Johanna packed for me and I take this moment to ask Peeta about some of the things she suggested we use.

"Have you ever used this?" I ask Peeta, showing him a buzzing ring that Johanna suggested would help with stimulation.

"No," he smiles holding it in his hand.

"How does that even work?"

"Well, from what I heard," he smirks, "I slide it around me and when I'm inside of you, it will stimulate your clitoris at the same time."

"Oh," I say blushing. Johanna must really do some interesting things with Gale. "She also packed me these lubes. This one warms, this one cools, and this one is the regular one. There's even an edible one?"

"Wow, that Johanna," Peeta says smiling at me. "We'll use whatever you want to try."

I put everything back into the bag, including some other items I haven't shown him yet, like this egg-shaped bullet vibrator that Johanna suggested we definitely use. I think though for our first few times, I want to just feel Peeta's body, and experiment with other stuff some other time.

Peeta and I fall asleep a little while later, wrapped around one another. I feel extremely comfortable on this big bed, especially under these down comforters. It's gets cool here at night so there was no need to turn on the air conditioner; we just leave the window open. Peeta likes that anyway and I also begin to, since I can hear the wildlife.

In the morning, I wake up in Peeta's embrace and I let my mind go wild with what we can do today. I wonder how I'll exactly bring up to him that I'm ready. When I feel his hands begin to roam my body, I know he's awake. He pulls down the cover and just looks at me.

"I want to see and kiss every inch of you," he tells me through heavy-lidded eyes. "May I?" he asks and I smile and nod. He begins to kiss me and I close my eyes at the sensation of his mouth on me. He's so gentle as he grazes my neck then collarbone. I feel his hands gently caress my breasts and then his mouth meets my pebbled nipples. I sigh and I take in every feeling of him as he descends my body slowly. Peeta explores each one of my legs kissing and smoothing the skin with his fingertips, all the while keeping eye contact with me.

"I want to know all your sweet spots," he continues as he nips the skin in the back of my knees. "I want to learn how to pleasure you."

"You already know how to," I say breathlessly as I feel him come up and kiss my other leg.

"I want to learn more," Peeta gently flips me on my stomach and begins kissing my shoulders and rubbing my back. He stills once he gets to a part of my mid back and I know he's looking at my scar. "I've never seen the scar on your back before. Is it sensitive?"

"No, it's alright." Peeta continues on kissing and caressing my skin right there. He stops when he gets to the small of my back and chuckles a bit.

"What?" I ask and turning over onto my side.

"You have dimples above your butt. I've never seen that either. I guess all the times I did have you next to me and naked I wasn't paying close enough attention. I'm sorry," Peeta says.

"Don't be. We didn't allow ourselves to explore each other like this before. We would kiss some, touch some more, and then we'd fall asleep," I tell him and see that he's smiling along with me.

"Well, this week will be different. I will make it my business to know every part of you." Peeta kisses me deeply then pulls away. He leads me into the bathroom and we take a nice bath together.

Our week continues on with us making out and doing pretty much everything but actual sex. When we're not naked in the master bedroom he takes me around on his property, where I see a few fruit trees that won't bloom until the fall. The caretaker usually picks everything he can and brings it to their local farmer's market. There's a lake close by where we go swimming a few times, making us completely tired by the time we get back.

It's Wednesday night when our make out session becomes more. Peeta is hovering over me and I'm stroking his member up and down. He steadily plants kisses on neck while sliding two of his fingers inside of me and rubbing my bundle of nerves with his thumb.

"Peeta," I gasp, not able to wait any longer, "I want you inside of me."

Peeta stills his hand and looks over to me. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok," he says smiling, but it doesn't quite meet his eyes. He sits up on his knees and reaches over to my side table to get my bag of items Johanna got for us.

"Baby, are you nervous?" I ask him sliding my hand up and down his arm.

"Am I that obvious?" He asks sheepishly.

"Is that why you haven't made love to me yet?"

He nods. "I'm just afraid of hurting you. I've never actually been with a virgin. For a guy it's completely different; we just come really fast." I laugh and he just gives me a small smile.

I then become serious and look him in the eye. "We'll be okay. I love you and I trust you."

"I love you too."

I retrieve a towel from the linen closet and put it under me, while Peeta looks through the inventory of condoms in Johanna's "goodie bag."

"Let's try a _Her Pleasure_," he says smiling, and I nod lying back against a few pillows. I take a bottle of the regular lube and pour some on me. Peeta slides the condom on and then puts some lube on himself also. He leans down on me and whispers he loves me. I repeat his words and kiss him. I begin to shake as I feel him position himself at my entrance and I see his nerves are getting the best of him as well.

"Relax, baby," I tell him, and myself for that matter, and I run my hand up his arm. He nods and smiles before I feel him move closer to me. I open my legs wider to accommodate him and that's when I begin to really feel him enter me. My breath hitches as I feel a pinching sensation and I close my eyes tight. Peeta is groaning as he continues to push in and they quickly turn into moans.

"My goodness!" He murmurs against my neck as he fills me. The pain has yet to subside but I trust that it will soon. When Peeta retreats, it somehow feels even worse and I have tears sliding down my face.

"Baby," Peeta coos as he wipes my face. "Do you want me to stop? I'll stop,"

I shake my head. "Keep going. It's supposed to be like this right? It's my first time."

I keep telling myself that as he pushes in again, much slower this time. The pain does not seem to subside, so finally after a few more shallow thrusts, I place a hand on his chest. He pulls out completely and gathers me in his arms.

"I'm sorry, baby. I hurt you," Peeta says sadly.

"You didn't. I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant the first time. We can always try again tomorrow." Peeta smiles down to me and kisses me briefly, then gets a warm washcloth to clean my tender flesh.

In the morning, I seem to have some lower back pain and I chalk it up to having sex for the first time last night, remembering what Johanna told me about her first time with Gale. She said she managed through it but had some pain the next day, but thankfully it was gone by the day after that. Peeta and I take another bath together and spend the day having a picnic beside the lake. It's sort of my birthday celebration and he's brought some variety of cheese buns to munch on with our lunch. Even though I'm still feeling sore, I can't help but smile at Peeta. I feel closer to him having given him my virginity. Knowing that we loved one another first before I did makes it even better.

Thursday night, Peeta spends extra time with foreplay and brings me to full orgasm before he enters me again. We try another _Her Pleasure_ condom and this time, I start to feel good when he is fully in me and begins to thrusts slowly. Even though I still experience some pain, it's not enough to ask him to stop. I feel his hand travel down and begins to run tight circles on my clit while capturing my moans in his mouth. I concentrate on both sensations of him inside of me and his fingers rubbing on me mercilessly. When I feel myself getting close Peeta angles his hips and begin to hit something deep inside of me repeatedly that has me crying out his name. I feel a combination of pain and pleasure and then my body is shaking. I'm coming and I hear his high moans, telling me he's about to let go himself. I fall first, leaning my head backward loud moans escaping me, and then Peeta follows, grunting and biting my neck.

I lay in Peeta's arms as he looks at me adoringly while stroking my hair. I yawn a few times and he pulls me closer to him to capture my lips before we finally fall asleep.

In the morning, Peeta makes breakfast for us and I smile as I watch him around the kitchen preparing our meal. I pull him in a few times for a small kiss and then he's back to flipping the French toast or cooking the eggs. I slice fruit on the counter, and bring that along with glasses of water to the table. I set the dishes and utensils on the table and help Peeta bring the food over from the kitchen. We eat our breakfast in relative silence but catch one another's glances throughout the meal. Afterward, Peeta washes the dishes while I clear the table and stove.

In the middle of our quiet morning, we hear his cell phone ring.

"That's odd," he tells me. "I told everyone I was on vacation this week, even the school. I hope everything is alright."

Peeta takes the call and I excuse myself to the den to give him some privacy. A short while later, he walks into the den to join me. His face has alternating expressions of delight and disbelief.

"That was NYU. They want me to come back."


	27. Epilogue Part 2

"What?" I drop the magazine on the table and turn to Peeta.

"I applied last year for their Master's program, but I didn't get in. They did like my portfolio and decided that if I completed a year of teaching and was in good standing, they'd reconsider my application. After I did the intensive, they must have looked at my application again and decided to offer me a scholarship for my Master's, including a position as an Assistant to one of their Art Professors. I totally forgot about it and I already had planned to settle down here in Panem."

Peeta seems in shock and just stands there gripping his phone tightly.

"Wow," is all I can say and I look down to my hands. Can it really be possible that Peeta is leaving me again? I feel myself begin to shake and I feel the couch sink next to me. Peeta pulls me onto his lap and kisses me deeply.

"I won't go," he tells me. "I can't do this to you again, to us," he murmurs against my mouth.

"No," I protest for his sake, even though my tears are welling up. "This is your dream."

"You're my dream."

"So what are we supposed to do then?"

A pained expression is across his face. "I don't know."

With no answers right now, we sit on the couch in silence, staring at the electronic fireplace while Peeta strokes my hair. My tears ebb eventually. I turn my head and notice that Peeta's eyes are drooping.

"Let's take a nap," I suggest in a quiet voice and Peeta nods his head. We make it up to the bedroom and just collapse on his bed. We leave our clothes on but pull the comforter up to our chins and I wrap myself around him. I close my eyes and soon doze off. A little while later, I wake up and find Peeta's eyes are still closed and he's snoring quietly. I admire his face like I always do when I find him still asleep. I've grown to love this man so much, and I don't know if I could ask him to stay in Panem for me or persuade him to go to New York without me.

I continue to mull it over until I come up with a solution that might be, ok _definitely_ crazy, but I think it can work. I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts that I don't feel Peeta start to make small circles on my back.

"You're awake," I say, and he nods his head.

I continue lying against him and feeling his ministrations and think, it's now or never.

"Why don't you go to New York," I say more of a statement rather than a question and I feel his hands stiffen.

"But Katniss -" he starts but I interrupt him.

"and take me with you," I continue.

"What?" He asks looking at me incredulously. "Take you with me?"

"Is it allowed?" I ask.

"I'm not even sure," he looks at me with wide eyes. "The housing they are providing for me is for the faculty, but many come with their families. I can definitely check. You would really come with me?" Peeta has started to babble as he considers what I have just said to him.

I nod my head and a smile breaks out on his face. He immediately gets excited and starts kissing me.

"Just check first, alright?" I tell him as I pull away from our kiss. He gives me one last peck before sitting up on his bed.

"I'll call them back right now," he says, enthused. He jumps out the bed and heads downstairs for his phone. I overhear the sound of his voice as he makes the phone call, but I can't pick out any specific word or phrase. A little while later, I hear him coming up the stairs and he has an ever bigger grin on his face.

"They said okay!"

"Is this real?" I exclaim, nearly jumping on the bed.

"It's real."

Peeta climbs into the bed with me, and we celebrate by making love until the early evening. Afterward I'm lying next to him, thoroughly exhausted, and looking at Peeta's smiling face.

"Did they ask you what I'd be doing there?" I ask turning over to run a hand down his arm.

"I told them you were going to college. There are many community colleges that are a part of the City University of New York. I figured you could do the paperwork online and go from there."

"That sounds good. I can go to Ms. Everett and ask her to help me sort it out," I tell him.

"Well lucky for you, I looked into it 5 years ago when I went off to college. I wanted to go to New York so bad that I applied to one of the CUNY colleges. But my parents thought it was too far away and that I was too young then. They were more supportive when I applied to NYU for my masters last year though. So feel free to use me as a resource."

"Of course," I respond.

Peeta runs his hand down my arm as he talks and I just feel a sense of calm having this discussion with him. Moving to New York together is a huge deal for both of us, but I don't think I would ever feel right if he stayed here for me. He's done so much for me and now I can do something for him.

Now I just have to talk to my family and convince them this is what I want to do. I want to be with Peeta because I love him. And maybe if I go to a big city like New York City, I can also find out what I'm supposed to do with my life. Being with Peeta has made me stronger and braver, and I realize taking big steps like this in life might send me down the right path.

xx

I had a long conversation with Johanna and Gale about moving to New York with Peeta and attending college there instead of here. Johanna worries about my safety, citing high crime rates in the city. Panem isn't perfect, but we know one another in our small town and look out for our neighbors. Gale has the same concerns, especially with him becoming a police officer . But in the end they were supportive, and said they would miss me terribly. I know I would as well. Even though Peeta and I haven't been dating for a long time, they know we both love each other and will take good care of each other.

August is steadily creeping away and Peeta and I have until the end of the month to spend with my family and close friends before we move to New York. After I spoke with my mother, she was also taciturn at first about my decision.

"New York is just so far away. Do you really love Peeta that much that you'd give your life up here to follow him? What if it doesn't work out and you have to come back here? Will you be able to handle that, Katniss?"

"I understand your concerns, Mom, I do. I've thought about all of these things, I really did. I can't make him stay here for me, and leaving you all is also very difficult, but I think New York will also be good for me."

"I just worry about you getting hurt. This is your first real relationship, and to go half way around the country…" She cuts herself off and just stares at me teary eyed.

"I know mom. But I love him, and I know he loves me."

I give my mother a long embrace. A little while later, Peeta comes over to have dinner with my mother and me. To say dinner was tense is an understatement.

"Do you love my daughter, Peeta?" My mother asks him seriously.

"Yes, Ma'am. I do, more than anything."

"Do you understand how monumental this is for her, and for her family, to be making this kind of decision?"

"I understand and I apologize," Peeta says sincerely. "I didn't want to put her in that position either, but we both feel we are making the right decision to be together in New York."

"Can you promise me you won't hurt her? You will love her and will look after her?"

"Of course. Always," he says reassuringly.

My mother nods and turns to me. "Katniss, this is your choice. I know you're an adult now and it's your life. I love you and I know I'd miss you terribly, but if this is what you want, you need to go for it."

I look at my mother with teary eyes and I stand from my chair to pull her in a hug.

"Thank you," I whisper to her gratefully.

My mother goes off to work after our dinner, and I settle on the couch with Peeta. He's holding me on his lap and I'm running my hand across his chest. After sharing a few moments of comfortable silence, we turn towards each other.

"I love you, Peeta."

"I love you too, Katniss."

xx

With the help of Ms. Everett, I fill out an application for a CUNY community college and have all my paperwork mailed directly to the college. When I arrive in the city with Peeta, I can immediately complete the enrollment process. There's a fairly close college in downtown Manhattan, and they have a fair amount of liberal arts classes that I can still sign up for, for the Fall semester.

Peeta's family throws us a going away party at the restaurant the Friday before we leave. All our family and close friends show up to wish us luck. The word finally goes around that we are together, but it was not as big of a deal like it would have been in high school. Some eyebrows were still raised at first, but I couldn't care less. I'm no longer his student and I am a now legal adult, and I'm proud of my relationship with Peeta.

Gale and Johanna hug me tightly at the airport, and I tell them I'll visit them on my first school break. Peeta's family is also here and were first to say their goodbyes. My mother holds up well when I hug her and she gives me words of encouragement. After saying all our goodbyes, Peeta takes my hand and we walk through the terminal.

When we land in New York, my senses are immediately assaulted by just how loud everything is. Growing up in a small town and then to come here, is a complete culture shock. I start to wonder how Peeta adjusted so well here. We hail a cab and it takes us to the apartments across from the NYU campus that houses staff. We pass by Washington Square Park, where I see many people enjoying the weather and some performances going on. Peeta tells me in the summer there are a lot of impromptu concerts and performances in parks, even in the subways. He also mentions his plans to explore the city with me this weekend.

The apartment they gave Peeta is a studio, and it's just slightly bigger than my bedroom back at home, with a small kitchenette off to the side and a bathroom.

"Home sweet home," Peeta says to me and leans down to capture my lips.

The apartment is already furnished with a full sized bed, dresser, couch, a coffee table, and a desk. Even the small kitchen already has utensils and necessary appliances. After unpacking, we decide to take a walk around the East Village. We pass by different restaurants, tattoo parlors, and even a few adult theme toy shops, which made me blush as I remember the toys Johanna gave me. When we return to the apartment, I call my mother, Gale and Johanna, while Peeta calls his family. Afterwards, we settle down in bed and wrap ourselves in the other's arms.

"I can't believe I'm in New York with you, and about to begin this scary adventure I'd never thought I'd ever be on," I tell Peeta softly while running my hands down his chest.

"I can't believe it either. I know you coming here with me is a big deal, and I intend on making sure you don't regret it."

"I won't regret it, Peeta. I love you and I know this is for your future."

"_Our_ future," he corrects me. "I don't plan on being on this journey with anyone else." I smile at him and realize what he's implying. I've never thought about anyone else either and I know where our thoughts are headed at this moment, but it's too early to be thinking about all that.

"Okay," I reply. "We're doing this for our future."

"Yes, and I plan to help you work on whatever you want to do as well. Maybe after a semester you'll fall in love with something. There's a little bit of everything in this big city."

xx

_A little over 2 years later…_

Peeta finished his Master's in Art Education and graduated from NYU. I also found my niche and decided to study Social Work. I made up my mind after volunteering at a children's mental health clinic. I had a chance to work with kids going through different types of therapy. They were looking for college students who had some related experience and with me undergoing therapy since I was 16, I was the perfect candidate. I began helping with paperwork and gradually worked my way up to assisting with play groups, as well as helping to transport the children from their therapy sessions to their homes. My specialty soon became working with children who were dealing with PTSD, which is what I went through the first year after my family's death.

I graduated with an Associate's Degree in Liberal Arts from the community college I attended, and was accepted into a Social Work program in Hunter College. After Peeta finished college, he was offered a position as an art teacher within the Charter Schools, which are the free private schools in the city. We decided then to find an apartment and become permanent residents of New York City. We first went back home to Panem for a few weeks, where we had a party with all of our family and friends at the Mellark's restaurant to celebrate our successes, among other things. Johanna graduated from nursing school and accepted a position at the hospital my mother also works in, and Gale graduated from the police academy last year and became a part of the Panem Police Department. They also announced their engagement that night at the party, and I nearly burst in tears at their news. Rue and Rory were also there, and to my delight, are still a couple and are about to enter their senior year in high school. Rue is still singing and Rory is her biggest fan.

My mother had gotten over her initial shock of me moving away with Peeta, and saw how going to college and volunteering in New York had helped me shape my life as an adult. I was no longer the confused 18-year-old who didn't know what to do with her life. I knew what I wanted to do now, and I still make a point to find the time to be with my family. Every year on the anniversary of Dad and Prim's death, I always came back home to be with my mother and it has bonded us further.

Peeta and I gathered the last of our things that we still have left in Panem to bring them with us back to New York. He had sold his car a year ago and I shipped mine to New York shortly after. Peeta still has his share of the family restaurant, but for now Mason and Gina are managing it.

We spent one last weekend up in his vacation home, not being able to come up there again for at least another year or so. We spent our time there swimming in the lake, sleeping on the couch, and making love with the windows open. I gave him the love letters I wrote to him when he first went to New York shortly after we moved and he always pulls one out to read to me. He likes to tease how cute and innocent I was back then with my love for him, and I remind him I'm still that way.

It's amazing how far I've come from the scared teenager who had to get through the guilt of losing her family to the young lady who fell in love with her teacher, who eventually became her best friend and partner in life. Johanna and Gale will always be a part of me, never forgetting how they took care of me, and we made promises to visit each other as often as we can.

The best part of it all is that I know I'm loved, not only by Peeta, but by my close friends and family. I know that my dad and Prim are watching over me every day. I'm taking care of myself and I've become stronger every day, knowing that I am headed down the right path and with Peeta right by my side. Always.

* * *

**Thank you guys so much for sticking with me as I reposted this story. Thank you to all the old readers and the new readers for giving me feedback and enjoying this little story I wrote!**


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